Should you reward your child for A grades?
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http://www.straitstimes.com/Think/Story/STIStory_784027.html
For those who have not seen this article... Thought it's a good read to share.
[quote]
Psychology expert warns that the child may end up seeing a reward as the goal
Say you are a parent trying to get your son to aim for all A*s in the Primary School Leaving Examination (PSLE). To get him to work hard, you promise him a reward - a trip to Disneyland or the sleek, new iPad, $150 for every A*.
Sounds like a sure-win strategy, and you know others who have used it to good effect. What child can resist the promise of a big reward?
And all you want is for him to ace the PSLE and make it to a top secondary school, because he will then sail through the rest of his school days and be set for life.
Hold on just a minute, says motivational psychology expert Richard Ryan from Rochester University, New York.
That is definitely the wrong tactic if you want your child to fly solo and take responsibility for his own learning.
'If a parent were to say, 'I will give you this if you achieve all As', the child is likely to do it for that reward,' he says. 'It also means that subsequently, he will think, well, the only reason to learn is to get the reward. If I am not getting the reward that I want, I am not interested in learning.'
The negative consequences are not always immediately apparent, and this strategy puts the responsibility for learning on the parent.
'Now the parent is the one who has to monitor the child, instead of a child assimilating and really internalising the value of learning and hard work, which is really what we want to develop,' Professor Ryan says.
Parents can show they appreciate their children's effort without killing the motivation to learn.
'It would be better if a parent, after his child does well, says, 'Let's go out and celebrate, we will have a meal or something.' In my country, it's always pizza. This is not undermining, because it is acknowledging and celebrating something competently done,' he says.
'And once the reward is over, they'll do no more. You're not helping their interests grow,' he says......[/quote] -
No
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I praise him for the good grades and reiterate how his hard work paid off and will encourage him to do even better in the next challenge.
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Added a poll...
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Yes, we do though not always.
Thankfully no twisted value in both kids. -
I see it as rewarding for good effort/behavior... With small toy or a meal.
Have to communicate to dd it's not reward for good grades... After reading the article.
Uncles and Aunties also buy rewards for dd at times... How to stop?
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Reward to acknowledge effort, but don’t make the reward so attractive that it becomes the child’s main motivation for studying.
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As you said it is at times, so why need to stop?
For me, I will not give my kids all the stuff at one go and if they misbehave, I will confiscate the stuff.
It is like the hubby occasionally surprising the wife with flowers or chocolate and thank her for taking care of family. :love: -
my kids said it is their duty to do well and is unfair to their ability if they did not put in their best effort
so no need reward as it sounds like corruption to them -
verykiasu2010:
Wah.... Your kids so serious one ah?my kids said it is their duty to do well and is unfair to their ability if they did not put in their best effort
so no need reward as it sounds like corruption to them
:siam:
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