All About Autism
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Hi Mummies,
Just want to seek your advice. Anyone has good suggestion on how to teach our kid to gargle and rinse their mouth? I have been trying for a long time but still not successful. He doesn’t know how to hold water in his month, he will just swallow -
Specialboymum,
After watching "temple Grandin"
I have one conclusion ; our child are GENIUS…
yes I have read so much until I read NO more…
So I decided to face the truth n must accept the real about these.
I really really need to pick up myself u are right.
I find that by facing the truth tat the main. -
Lastly i wish I have their kind of focus mind when I study
-
helplessmum3:
In Kubler Ross' model of grief, there are 5 stages:Specialboymum,
After watching \"temple Grandin\"
I have one conclusion ; our child are GENIUS...
yes I have read so much until I read NO more..
So I decided to face the truth n must accept the real about these.
I really really need to pick up myself u are right.
I find that by facing the truth tat the main.
1. denial: it cant be me.
2. anger: why me?
3. bargaining: I'll do anything to get out of this.
4. depression: why bother
5. acceptance.
I feel this griefing process is classic of parents with ASD children. I went through this myself, and even now after 2 years of first diagnosis I still swing between stage 2, 3 and 4 at times, although I am most of the time at stage 5. When there are times of stage 2, 3 and 4 coming into play, I acknowledge those feelings and understand that they are part of grief, but at the back of my mind, I know I that I will hit rock bottom and rise again.
I think it is ok and only human to go through the different stages of grief. But most importantly be cognizant that you are going through grief, and be aware that you should arrive at stage 5 eventually. you can be angry and bitter, but dont give up on your child. During those times when I find myself vulnerable, I try as much as possible to take a step back and move away from my dd3 and get another caretaker to come in so that I minimize the chances of me shouting or scolding or hurting my child because I am not in control.
If need be, take short breaks for yourself, but always come back for your child. This takes time, but it gets better with practice. -
ImMeeMee:
Hi ImMeeMee,
In Kubler Ross' model of grief, there are 5 stages:helplessmum3:
Specialboymum,
After watching \"temple Grandin\"
I have one conclusion ; our child are GENIUS...
yes I have read so much until I read NO more..
So I decided to face the truth n must accept the real about these.
I really really need to pick up myself u are right.
I find that by facing the truth tat the main.
1. denial: it cant be me.
2. anger: why me?
3. bargaining: I'll do anything to get out of this.
4. depression: why bother
5. acceptance.
I feel this griefing process is classic of parents with ASD children. I went through this myself, and even now after 2 years of first diagnosis I still swing between stage 2, 3 and 4 at times, although I am most of the time at stage 5. When there are times of stage 2, 3 and 4 coming into play, I acknowledge those feelings and understand that they are part of grief, but at the back of my mind, I know I that I will hit rock bottom and rise again.
I think it is ok and only human to go through the different stages of grief. But most importantly be cognizant that you are going through grief, and be aware that you should arrive at stage 5 eventually. you can be angry and bitter, but dont give up on your child. During those times when I find myself vulnerable, I try as much as possible to take a step back and move away from my dd3 and get another caretaker to come in so that I minimize the chances of me shouting or scolding or hurting my child because I am not in control.
If need be, take short breaks for yourself, but always come back for your child. This takes time, but it gets better with practice.
that is why at one point, i tot my son will be better off w some1 who can handle him better then me when i lost control & i felt so bad about it..
u noe , ever since my son was first clinically diagnose in Feb, i have gain 7kilos, i keep eating & eating &eating..... Also i cry & cry & cry.. until i go see eye doctor and confirm that my left eye is blur now due to nerve breakdown.
u know the \"facing issue\" is like you know tat you exam is coming and u jus stress about it and no going to study but its keep stressing about it.
Whereas u face it tat exam is near & u go study about it the stress is lesser, cuz you are at least preparing some. .. and u are somehow working on it to take exam.. i duno how to explain more further, this the less i can have for example..
the move to go study for exam is the NEXT Step or First time to face. -
Dear helplessmum3,
Just would like to share this link with you. It's about this 3 year old girl with autism who has incredible talent in painting...
http://www.etsy.com/blog/en/2012/autism-into-art-siobhan-forrester/ -
THank u Shoe,
This give me allow me tO think how to help my son w his sharp hearing… -
helplessmum3:
if i understand you correctly, you do not want to face the exam but find that you have come to the stage where you cannot not face the exam anymore.
Hi ImMeeMee,
that is why at one point, i tot my son will be better off w some1 who can handle him better then me when i lost control & i felt so bad about it..
u noe , ever since my son was first clinically diagnose in Feb, i have gain 7kilos, i keep eating & eating &eating..... Also i cry & cry & cry.. until i go see eye doctor and confirm that my left eye is blur now due to nerve breakdown.
u know the \"facing issue\" is like you know tat you exam is coming and u jus stress about it and no going to study but its keep stressing about it.
Whereas u face it tat exam is near & u go study about it the stress is lesser, cuz you are at least preparing some. .. and u are somehow working on it to take exam.. i duno how to explain more further, this the less i can have for example..
the move to go study for exam is the NEXT Step or First time to face.
I think we all have such encounters in life, where we try to avoid certain things, maybe because of fear. But because its our child that we are talking about, and because our love for our child overrules everything else, we just have to grit our teeth and look it in the eye and take it head on. when you know you are facing it head on, the fear goes away and its not that scary anymore.
Each and everyone of us are but human beings. we are not perfect, and we have our equal share of strengths and shortfalls. if you dont do it right the first time, tell yourself you will do better the next time round, and strive to do something different the next time round. dont see it as an exam, there is not pass or fail in this case, and there is no competition against anyone else.
i hope the above helps you get over this very tough period, and my thoughts are with you. you may find that you need to indulge in self-pity for a while, but do pick yourself up and move on.
dont give up. -
Just wondering, how should i let my husband get out from his denial stage? Till now he is still pretty much in a denial and anger stage despite it has been four months since we knew about our girl’s condition. He refused to talk to me about how to help our girl.
Many times i tried to engage a talk 1:1 to him telling him that he need to play a part in helping our girl, this is our own flesh and blood, our one and only child. He will always flare up saying he is stressful and it is the job for the speech therapist and occupational therapist to cure our girl, not his duty to do so since we have paid the money to them.
He even mentioned many times that he wanted to give up our girl, just continue let her be like that. He said he just want to continue his life as normal cos he said she is a burden to him. Are aspergers really lack of empathy? Always putting themselves in the most important position? Everything is all about themselves?
Its hard for me to handle alone, juggling with full time work, part-time studies, sending my girl to ST, OT and training her at home and rushing my part-time final year project. I’m worn out mentally and physically, husband is not supportive at all. Is he still in a denial stage or just being purely selfish? -
Lavandery,
Man take longer I guess. Maybe he just depresss by saying all these. U ask him to watch temple grandin
U are super! How u manage to send yr girl to therapist while working full day? Yr leave enough ?
Ana yr study, how u do it too? I m totally can’t study at all n I can’t focus n remember.
Are yr girl therapist works? U see improvement ?
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