Principal of top school under investigation for hiring prost
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I have a choice and I hope I have made the right choice. But that said, I do not judge the others, especially people you have mentioned. If I may say so, I only feel sorry for them and their kids. If I can, I would help them (not monetary sense, but through helping their kids to pick up reading for I really do believe education is a ticket out of poverty and poverty is the root cause for many social problems). And I will talk to my child about his own good fortune.
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deminc:
Deminc... this is exactly what I meant when I started writing in this thread- http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=749019#p749019. Exactly this!! Except you wrote it more convincingly. I of course agree with strparent that it takes 2 hands to clap THEREFORE when the child goes wrong, we shouldn't point ONLY at the child, which was what everyone was doing except for AutumnBronze... an ex-educator with a heart for girls.
I get where you both are coming from. But besides agreeing with strparent that it takes two hands to clap, I think it can also be construed to be very hurtful to some working mothers who do not have the choice to work part time or stay home. There are mothers who are widowed, stuck with a good for nothing spouse, struggling with debts or simply not well educated enough to have much career choice. All they can do is concentrate on paying the bills and hope that their children will turn out okay.
I personally know a mother in such circumstances. Unknown to her, her daughter was drugged and possibly raped at twelve. And yes, she became a teenage escort, even as she gave her younger sister pocket money, and protected the younger sister from men who wanted to date the younger sister - men in their twenties while the little sister was only thirteen. This escort bakes as a hobby, contributes to grandparents, and has had her ups and downs. She is hardened, she sees herself as tough and cynical...all this time the mother is just working hard at shift work to pay off the husband's debts. It's not always so straight forward.
We do not know this 17 year old's story. The above could well BE this 17 year old's story. Do we know for sure it isn't?
Further, I said as much in an earlier post that some parents have no choice... http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=749019#p749019
And even for parents who stay home, some kids turn bad. Why do we have to apportion to... or read (between the lines to find) blame of ...
(1) parents (none was meant)
(2) the girl (much was meant)
Why can't we just note that something terrible has happened and then help the girl (and the men) move on? Is it important to blame someone or read blame of someone between the lines of what was written? -
Imami:
I have a choice and I hope I have made the right choice. But that said, I do not judge the others, especially people you have mentioned. If I may say so, I only feel sorry for them and their kids. If I can, I would help them (not monetary sense, but through helping their kids to pick up reading for I really do believe education is a ticket out of poverty and poverty is the root cause for many social problems). And I will talk to my child about his own good fortune.
Imami... I re-read what you wrote and did not get a sense that you were blaming parents for not making the same choices as you did. You were merely sharing your own life choice. I don't find your posts hurtful at all. -
peapot:
Even my friends are just making one comment and that's it we talk about other things. I m not sure why in this forum we have 69 pages leh??!! Wow!!hokkiengirl:
Wow.. a prefect reply.....Humans have a natural instinct for justice to be served.
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Imami:
I strongly suspect your spouse would be in similar salary scale as you, if not higher, for you to be willing to make that decision..
Agree. That's why I made a career switch two years ago. I could have been a financial controller if I had stayed on that job but I decided to become a clerk in order to be a part of my child's growing up years. I reckon the furthest I could have gone is being a CFO or a something and I probably could have earned a million before I am 40. But nothing can buy my child's growing up years back, even if I give up my million(s).
If you're the sole potential million earner.. you might have made a different decision.. am I right? :evil: well.. I could be wrong.. -
limlim:
Give her a break... she was only sharing her own personal story, not dissing people who can't and don't make the same choice as she did.
I strongly suspect your spouse would be in similar salary scale as you, if not higher, for you to be willing to make that decision..Imami:
Agree. That's why I made a career switch two years ago. I could have been a financial controller if I had stayed on that job but I decided to become a clerk in order to be a part of my child's growing up years. I reckon the furthest I could have gone is being a CFO or a something and I probably could have earned a million before I am 40. But nothing can buy my child's growing up years back, even if I give up my million(s).
If you're the sole potential million earner.. you might have made a different decision.. am I right? :evil: well.. I could be wrong.. -
Chenonceau:
Give her a break... she was only sharing her own personal story, not dissing people who can't and don't make the same choice as she did.[/quote]I don't get what you mean. My post is nothing personal.
I strongly suspect your spouse would be in similar salary scale as you, if not higher, for you to be willing to make that decision..limlim:
[quote=\"Imami\"]
Agree. That's why I made a career switch two years ago. I could have been a financial controller if I had stayed on that job but I decided to become a clerk in order to be a part of my child's growing up years. I reckon the furthest I could have gone is being a CFO or a something and I probably could have earned a million before I am 40. But nothing can buy my child's growing up years back, even if I give up my million(s).
If you're the sole potential million earner.. you might have made a different decision.. am I right? :evil: well.. I could be wrong..
I'm just saying if the parents are not generally well to do, they may not give up the potential income just to spend more time with the kids.
It is a luxury choice that is likely not on the radar scope of peasants..
That, is a general comment, not directed at any one person, more applicable to general mass (of coz, my speculation may be wrong).
I don't understand what you mean by \"give her a break\"?
Do I sound provocative or challenging? sorrie if you get that impression. It was never meant to be this way. -
Chenonceau:
:thankyou: Chen!!!
Deminc... this is exactly what I meant when I started writing in this thread- http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=749019#p749019. Exactly this!! Except you wrote it more convincingly. I of course agree with strparent that it takes 2 hands to clap THEREFORE when the child goes wrong, we shouldn't point ONLY at the child, which was what everyone was doing except for AutumnBronze... an ex-educator with a heart for girls.
We do not know this 17 year old's story. The above could well BE this 17 year old's story. Do we know for sure it isn't?
Further, I said as much in an earlier post that some parents have no choice... http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?
p=749019#p749019
And even for parents who stay home, some kids turn bad. Why do we have to apportion to... or read (between the lines to find) blame of ...
(1) parents (none was meant)
(2) the girl (much was meant)
Why can't we just note that something terrible has happened and then help the girl (and the men) move on? Is it important to blame someone or read blame of someone between the lines of what was written?
You inferred what some CHOSE not to :hugs:
Though as the days go by and it seems that the girl could be a willing participant, I am not going to discount the fact that there MAY have been a catalyst somewhere in her life that kickstart(ed) her in this direction.
Yes, she certainly needs help!! -
limlim:
Is ok. You man mah... insensitive.
I don't get what you mean. My post is nothing personal.
I'm just saying if the parents are not generally well to do, they may not give up the potential income just to spend more time with the kids.
It is a luxury choice that is likely not on the radar scope of peasants..
That, is a general comment, not directed at any one person, more applicable to general mass (of coz, my speculation may be wrong).
I don't understand what you mean by \"give her a break\"?
Do I sound provocative or challenging? sorrie if you get that impression. It was never meant to be this way.
So I poked you back.
Now you sensitive hah? :imsorry:
But I love you anyway. :love: -
Chenonceau:
lucky women can anyhow poke...we guys will get into alot more trouble!! :evil:
Is ok. You man mah... insensitive.
So I poked you back. Now you sensitive hah? :imsorry:
But I love you anyway. :love:
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