Bedroom Issue

[fightingmom]

janet_lee88:

Canvas:

There can be many reasons, parenting responsibilities (for example, our kids sleep with us. Sigh.), work stress, age, health etc.

My kids also sleep with us. Hubby is so tired from work everyday and he knocks out before the kids do. We bunk into one room bcos of wanting to save on switching on 2 air con units. Not a wise idea to go on, but I have slept beside them since they were born
Sometimes if I want to snuggle up to hubby, it is just not possible.

Hi Janet,

You can try switching on the Aircon to cool the room for an hour or so before bed time and then switch on the fan to continue circulate the cool air within the room. It helps save electricity and your children may sleep in separate rooms then.

[fightingmom]

happyheart:

Rena06:

Thanks for the tips and advices. I did have a HTH talk with Hubby. He claims that his high blood pressure is the possible cause of him not to get erection. He told me every time he has the urge to have sex but could not have reaction. He is ashamed because of his inability to have erection that why he keep pushing me away.


Recently, his friend has recommended a Jamu (traditional malay med). He starts to have erection again but I’m worried about the side effect. He mentions that a few of his Malay and non- Malay friends have tried. So far no one complains. Even, a friend of his, who is using this Jamu managed to make his wife pregnant - he is 49 and his wife is 47. Hubby even said that their baby was born healthy and normal despite of their age.

I have read somewhere that you can’t combine traditional med with the general med. Very dangerous but Hubby is a stubborn man. :scared:

He must be having a difficult time but Good thing that he is confiding in you.
As long as your relationship is strong, you can overcome a lot of things together. Hang on and don't stop talking!

Yes, keep communicating and in the meantime, you can give him lots of \"contacts\" like holding hands , hugs and \"tehing\" ... Whichever works

[ccgoh]

I try not to allow kids into the bedroom especially once they are 6 and above If not hubby and me sure no privacy. After a while, become more like good friends and roomates, need to have the spark lah, so sorry but by the time they reach K2, I will wean them off us and into their own rooms.

[janet88]

ccgoh:

I try not to allow kids into the bedroom especially once they are 6 and above If not hubby and me sure no privacy. After a while, become more like good friends and roomates, need to have the spark lah, so sorry but by the time they reach K2, I will wean them off us and into their own rooms.

That spark to keep marriage going is important. Sometimes, what women want is the hug and tenderness like courtship. Will try to get the 2 kids out of my room slowly.

[ccgoh]

janet_lee88:

ccgoh:

I try not to allow kids into the bedroom especially once they are 6 and above If not hubby and me sure no privacy. After a while, become more like good friends and roomates, need to have the spark lah, so sorry but by the time they reach K2, I will wean them off us and into their own rooms.

That spark to keep marriage going is important. Sometimes, what women want is the hug and tenderness like courtship. Will try to get the 2 kids out of my room slowly.

Its not easy but jia you, it can be done

[ahkeong]

sigh


sad to say others having the opposite of my problem!!

haha

[Acy]

Me and my hubby is around the same age as u n ur hubby. First,u gota know whether is your hubby stress at work or any stressful stuff?

Secondly, for men above 40s, they are easily prone to ED. and this to men, is a big affect in their ego. Thus, they probably might feel inferior or unable to satisfied their wife,so it leads to NO to sex.
3) but for 1 years plus for married couples, is consider kinda weird? Either he is cheating(perhaps he is wise in clearing evidences? I m only presume ) Or he is using his imagination and passing the "job" to his buddy(his hand)? or ED?
But I believe that the most important thing for a married couple is to have a real serious talk with him let him know how you feel these 1 year plus? Find out what is affecting your marriage? Sexless marriage and even without physical close contact for sooo long, could gradually lead to serious problems in your marriage. solve this fast if not, a marriage could be destroy. And btw, every marriage at least will sure need close physical contacts.
I had solve my Similar problem few months back and now we are a happy couple:) best of luck!

[Rena06]

Thanks for the advice.I guess most of us women have this issue somehow in marriage life.It is very difficult to talk to someone close to you cause bedroom issue are private and being asian, we tends not to discuss such things. :imdrowning:

[osim]

It's okay to have low libido for some period of our marriage life. However, it needs to be worked on as intimacy is crucial in a couple's marriage.


One thing about guys is that you need to make them think of you even when you are not there. It sort of prime them for the night. You see, they have weak eyes and like to fantasize. Like some forumners here said, touch, kiss, dress sexy or even 'accidentally' exposing yourself to him (of course not in front of kids), like being in your undies and changing in front of him but act like normal . Give DH a good rub down with a nice massage oil from time to time, no one will ever turn away from a nice body massage.

Nowadays, the easily available internet porn can also 'neuter' a man. Very hard to match those people in there and all couple must be careful not to allow this to derail their sexual expectation.

[macrotrust]

Man in general are not interested in sex could be due to various reasons:

1) too stress in life - work n family. ie low energy
2) no longer find you sexual appealing any more- ie no more thrill or surprise or predictable or boring sex position
3) dont want to waste his energy for you or for someone else through some other channel u can think of.
4) could be a medical condition- still no excuse can seek some medication if ED
5) life focus is changing due to career goal - dont need to satify your sexual urge ie it your own problem.
6) maybe u no longer attractive as before- no mood for sex
7) lingerie thing may work once or twice but not sustainable- bottom line is what he got to explain why sex is not appealing to him anymore in comparison to past. of course nobody will know if he is telling the truth- deep down- he know himself.

maybe you can get him drunk and who know he may reveal the real "self" or have loose talk. please don be judgemental about his value as to hurt his male ego .dont try to offer solution or rememdies if he does not ask for it- as u know most asia man are MCP and to save face for him.