All About Autism

[schweppes]

Double E:

Mummies


I am now pulling my hair thinking how to help my boy be more responsive and engaging. These two weeks were really bad for him and I observed him in school for 2 days. He zones out easily, not singing with his classmates during singing sessions and just stood or sat there staring blankly. He wasn't like that previously, though not exceptionally engaging, he would still participate in some of the actions and was more responsive. I don't know what made him regress. Was it the music therapy? But I did not start him on intensive music therapy cos he only has his music therapy once a week at the OT's. Or is it the biomedical treatment (I started him on enzymes two mths ago) or what is it?

Could be any of the above reasons. Sometimes, just part and parcel of growing up. An OT told me this once, sometimes the body needs to \"reboot\" and goes back to default mode before it starts to function properly again. It's normal.

But I do understand where u are coming from. It can be really frustrating going through the ups and downs. Find the emotional roller coaster ride very draining. U are not alone. :hugs:

Double E:

Mummies whose kids are older now, do you have such problems with your kids when they were younger? 3-4 years old? And is it true that there are times the kids will regress and then improve tremendously? What else can I do to help him?
Hiaz....

Yes, it happens whether the kid is 3-4yo or 13-14yo. There are good and some not-so-good days. Just have to ride it out.

U will see the child progressing really well and we, as parents, get so happy and hopeful. And then, one fine day - no reason at all - we suddenly see a dip in their behaviour or performance. And naturally, we start to panic and blame and feel miserable/ frustrated.

And then, before you know it, the child seems to leapfrog in progress. It's a cycle. What I do during the \"dip\" is to allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a while, pray :xedfingers: :xedfingers: like mad and then aim to pick myself up again so that i can be there for my child.

It's also very important to remember the positives when the child was doing well and progressing. Helps us to hang on to the belief that, after this \"stormy\" period, the sun will come out again.

Not easy at all. But, the comforting thing is that, over time, the upswings and positives go on for longer periods of time.

[mummyJune]

my 3yo boy is like this. on his happy days, he will sing songs & be a good boy but on his moody days, he can scream & cry all day long. Now worst, every morning must drag him to childcare. reached the main gate he starts to scream & cry again. Been like this for 2weeks already.

[Double E]

schweppes:

Double E:

Mummies


I am now pulling my hair thinking how to help my boy be more responsive and engaging. These two weeks were really bad for him and I observed him in school for 2 days. He zones out easily, not singing with his classmates during singing sessions and just stood or sat there staring blankly. He wasn't like that previously, though not exceptionally engaging, he would still participate in some of the actions and was more responsive. I don't know what made him regress. Was it the music therapy? But I did not start him on intensive music therapy cos he only has his music therapy once a week at the OT's. Or is it the biomedical treatment (I started him on enzymes two mths ago) or what is it?

Could be any of the above reasons. Sometimes, just part and parcel of growing up. An OT told me this once, sometimes the body needs to \"reboot\" and goes back to default mode before it starts to function properly again. It's normal.

But I do understand where u are coming from. It can be really frustrating going through the ups and downs. Find the emotional roller coaster ride very draining. U are not alone. :hugs:

Double E:

Mummies whose kids are older now, do you have such problems with your kids when they were younger? 3-4 years old? And is it true that there are times the kids will regress and then improve tremendously? What else can I do to help him?
Hiaz....

Yes, it happens whether the kid is 3-4yo or 13-14yo. There are good and some not-so-good days. Just have to ride it out.

U will see the child progressing really well and we, as parents, get so happy and hopeful. And then, one fine day - no reason at all - we suddenly see a dip in their behaviour or performance. And naturally, we start to panic and blame and feel miserable/ frustrated.

And then, before you know it, the child seems to leapfrog in progress. It's a cycle. What I do during the \"dip\" is to allow myself to wallow in self-pity for a while, pray :xedfingers: :xedfingers: like mad and then aim to pick myself up again so that i can be there for my child.

Not easy at all. But, the comforting thing is that, over time, the upswings and positives go on for longer periods of time.

Swcheppes
Thanks for the comforting words. I really pray hard lor. It is demoralising to see him regress just when u thought things are going on well. I am going to have a talk with his OT and hopefully, we can come up with some solutions. :?:

But well, not all things are bad. Though his behaviour now is a big worry for me, he has made some small progress with his fine and gross motor skills. Since last week, he can finally spit out the water after brushing his teeth. For the longest time, he has been swallowing the water and I wonder when will he learn how to spit it out. I saw one of the older posts here where a mummy suggested getting the kid to spit into a cup so I tried and it worked! :please:

[schweppes]

Double E:

But well, not all things are bad. Though his behaviour now is a big worry for me, he has made some small progress with his fine and gross motor skills. Since last week, he can finally spit out the water after brushing his teeth. For the longest time, he has been swallowing the water and I wonder when will he learn how to spit it out. I saw one of the older posts here where a mummy suggested getting the kid to spit into a cup so I tried and it worked! :please:

:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

always look for the positives and celebrate their little victories. helps us to pull through the difficult moments

:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

[ImMeeMee]

Double E:

Mummy June
Totally understand how u feel because that was exactly what my boy did over the weekend at her sister, my gal's birthday party. First he refused to go in the play gym, when we tried to coax him to try the slides, he cried. Then, he went to play with the toys and threw huge tantrums when another boy snatched it from him. He tried to snatch back but was not quick enough. I am perplexed cos he is verbal, but instead of telling the boy that he wants the toy, he choose to cry and scream. He was like dat throughout the party. So can you imagine how distraught I am? Here we are celebrating my girl's birthday and my boy is screaming away. My hubby and I totally have no mood and I broke down at the end of the party when some of my friends tried to console me. I know they meant well but the more they tried to console me, the worse I feel. And I had to tell a white lie to concerned friends and relatives who saw me with my swollen eyes. I had to lie that my eyes were itchy and I rubbed it. BTW, all my friends know about my boy's condition, I am open about it.

And my mil asked my hubby why my boy behaved so badly that day (cos he was usually ok at my mil's place) and my hubby had to explain to her. We did tell my mil about my boy's condition but she didn't really understand what is autism and how it affects a person. So on that Sat, she knew.

We are going to the playgym again for another party in two weeks time. I cross my fingers. But I determined to help him get over it so that he can enjoy the indoor playgrounds again like he used to. I am sure, that day will come.

at one stage my dd3 threw a lot of tantrums when she stepped into the shopping mall. these were shopping malls that she was familiar with, and she refused to take even another step within the shopping mall towards the library that she likes. its either we stay put at the spot, or taking one step further will activate her screams. in the end I had to leave without going to the planned library trips.

there was once i was alone with all 3 gals, and dd3 started acting up after we went to the supermarket to pick up yakult and some biscuits (as a form of educational trip to teach dd3 about supermarket). i had no choice but to leave with dd3 and stand at a distance while she screamed at the same time while my dd1 and dd2 (8 and 7 yo) paid for the things at the cashier. Luckily the older gals were able to cope and we got through.

AFter that I backed off and stopped these trips for a while. Somehow after that she became better and now she is able to cope with going to different places.

hang in there ...

[Double E]

ImMeeMee

Thanks for sharing your experience. I will try one more time since we need to attend the party. If he still behaves this way, I will stop bringing him to indoor playground for a while and just settle with outdoor playground which he enjoys.

And Mummies, are there times that you lose it and lay your hands on your kids? I am guilty of that, either I beat his bottom with my hands or I use a cane. As much as I know he behaved badly due to his condition, there are times I feel that he is just pushing his luck because he can get over it pretty fast. And according to my mum, he behaves more badly when both my hubby and I are around.

[mashy]

Double e

I use the cane often. I have canes at home and in the car. Now just showing it is enough to instil fear and compliance. Sometimes really need to leh. If not he will just continue in his dreamland. Pain brings him out faster and more effectively. I know there are pp who aren’t for it. To each his own.

Maybe keep to open spaces in the indoor playground. And is it noisy? I know some play loud music and lots of lights. Could be overwhelming for him. When my son was younger, I took care not to go such places. And for parties, we have to be the first to arrive before the crowd comes in. He could adapt better than going into a party full of pp. We are slowly able to go to the movies with him. At least he didn’t attempt to get out of the cinema. But I have to cover his ears throughout the movie.

[helplessmum3]

oh no… Double E. i haven start my son to brush teeth, only for him to brush his teeth in play way…


how your son brush his teeth?

[Double E]

Mashy

I believe in canning too. But I don’t have one at home, my mum has. Think I should buy one and put at home, be it to instill fear or really beat his bottom.

I am not sure if is because of the noise and crowd. It could be but like I said, he used to be better last time. Just in May this year, we went to Peekaboo at East Coast, he was still willing to try and and enjoyed himself. Don’t know why he would react so badly last week. As for movies, we brought him once and he could sit through the whole movie with little fuss. But right now, I am really scared to bring him to movies, don’t know if we would act up since his behaviour has been bad recently.

Helplessmum,
My son still doesn’t know how to brush properly, he still needs my help.

[helplessmum3]

Cannning ? No… wait he think tat canning is correct way to punish pple, when u grow older they will can you ah…


they only think straight one…