5year old Angry, Impatient & Not Focussed...Advice Please

[hokkiengirl]

sean wife:

Hi hokkiengirl,


Thanks for sharing…ya, really not easy to take a step back and look at their strengths rather than their weaknesses (we often complain that our bosses only highlight what we don’t do well rather than what we do well right?) Just yesterday, I was kind of upset because one of my girls got 6/10 for her English enrichment spelling, and 3 out of the 4 mistakes was due to her handwriting…my other girl got 8/10, but it was kind of what I expected because there were 2 words which they just could not manage to get right (which is OK with me, since I actually don’t see a lot of value in spending a lot of time to learn spelling words for testing one week, only to forget them a day later…weird thinking right??). Then I started asking my hubby ‘How ah? Handwriting like that, sure lose a lot of marks when go to primary school’…then he says ‘They are not even 5 yet…give them a break…blar blar blar…’ Of course, I started defending myself that easy for him to say that since I am the one putting in much more effort than him where learning is concerned, but his words do help to make me more grounded in terms of my expectations and treasure them for what they are, rather than what they can/cannot do…

Just some ranting…

Ha ha Yup, I totally get what you mean! I think we mummies are so emotionally involved cos we are the main caregivers watching over the kids' school-work and we put in so much more effort. And, ahem, if anything goes 'wrong', we don't want to get blamed by the hubby. At least, that's how I feel, sometimes. Agree! We should just treasure them for who they are! Parenting is a delicate process; cannot push too hard, but must push just enough to help the kiddies reach their full potential. Phew.

[hokkiengirl]

slmkhoo:

Many parents and teachers, and I also fall into that trap, tend to compare with the best examples available rather than the average or even poor. In the name of 'trying your best', we sometimes set unrealistically high expectations for our kids. When we see another 5yo is reading Enid Blyton, or playing the piano, or whatever, we panic because we fear that our child is 'behind'. I have to consciously check what is actually 'average' for a particular age, and not get too worked-up when my kids prove to be average rather than exceptional. My motto has been - earlier doesn't mean better. My kids are teens now, and really, what they didn't master at 5yo, they mastered at 6yo or 7yo, and for most of things, that extra year didn't matter at all.

Agree! :goodpost:

[lilychong3]

Hi this is my first day in kiasuparent.com. saw this thread and find that I totally agree with what GreenBelt wrote. I have a girl who just enter into P1 and I kept telling myself and my hubby not to compare results between her and her best friend. Especially when she is in a school so competitive.


We get upset when she did not get the results for her 2nd modular test (23 /25for english, 20 </25for maths, 21/25 for chinese) compared to the results from her first (25/25 for english, 24/25 for maths, 23/25 for chinese).

I have convinced myself that what she gets is good enough but subconsciuosly I will bring up the issue that her results have gone down. Having say that, I would immediately regret but can’t take back my words anymore.

I am now in dilemma of am I expecting too much from her?

[lilychong3]

We totally understand the principle of this issue. I constantly think is it becos she is the only child and also becos I am a SAHM, things can be blown out of proportion.


I keep telling myself not to stress her and let her enjoy school life but things always get out of control. It’s always easier say then done. Isn’t it?

[myebelle]

Hi



I'm a newbie in this forum and after reading this thread, I'm breathing a big sigh of relief.

I'm a Singaporean who has lived in Melbourne for the past 13 years. I married my Greek husband and we have 2 kids, 10yo DD and 9yo DS. In Australia, schools don't do tests, much less exams. Every semester, parents will be given a report telling us how our child is performing, results in every subject will only indicate where they are against the national average, and how much they have improved since the last report - no numbers.

There is a possibility that we are coming back to Singapore but I fear that my kids are not going to cope very well in Singapore public schools. There will be a major shock to their system as they have never been in an examinable environment. I was from Maha Bodhi School but I have no intention of taking my kids there as I can just imagine how much pressure my kids (and us as parents) will face.

It is truly a relief to read this thread, that not all parents are kiasu after all . I am so happy to know that there are still realistic parents who love their children for who they are, and measure their success by happiness instead of numbers. Thank you! :grphug:

mich

[hokkiengirl]

myebelle:

Hi



I'm a newbie in this forum and after reading this thread, I'm breathing a big sigh of relief.

I'm a Singaporean who has lived in Melbourne for the past 13 years. I married my Greek husband and we have 2 kids, 10yo DD and 9yo DS. In Australia, schools don't do tests, much less exams. Every semester, parents will be given a report telling us how our child is performing, results in every subject will only indicate where they are against the national average, and how much they have improved since the last report - no numbers.

There is a possibility that we are coming back to Singapore but I fear that my kids are not going to cope very well in Singapore public schools. There will be a major shock to their system as they have never been in an examinable environment. I was from Maha Bodhi School but I have no intention of taking my kids there as I can just imagine how much pressure my kids (and us as parents) will face.

It is truly a relief to read this thread, that not all parents are kiasu after all . I am so happy to know that there are still realistic parents who love their children for who they are, and measure their success by happiness instead of numbers. Thank you! :grphug:

mich

hi, myebelle!

Ha ha you can bet your booties we are kiasu parents!!! We are so kiasu we are willing to restrain our inner competitive demons to support our kids emotionally and spiritually even if they don't score straight As, so that they will WIN BIG-TIME in the game of real life! Now, if that's not 'afraid of losing out' in the things that count, I don't know what is! :boogie:

Seriously, I know of too many people who did poorly at school and who are now CEOs, entrepreneurs and living their dream lives. Many of them were my school mates. But it's really not about the money. It's about the kids living happy and healthy lives, contributing positively to the community. As long as parents work towards that, I think we will do ok.

[Ran1977]

:goodpost: