All About Autism
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Blokus:
Hi blokusHi
I'm a mom of a potential asd 5 year old boy. He's waiting to see the psychologist in a few months time. Meanwhile, I've been reading up & have been wavering between being sure he's not on the spectrum and that he is.
Why I think he's not
1) he can communicate I,e answer questions
2) he's fully aware & in tune with his environment
3) he rarely has meltdowns
4) interacts with me & hub like a normal kid.
5) no behavioral issues instead very compliant
6) no rigid routine; extremely adaptable to sudden changes
7) no repeated behavior I.e hand flapping.
no obsession with toys, plays a variety of toys (cars, trains, grocery, board/card games, blocks etc)
9) plays with toys appropriately.
Why I think he is
1) fleeting eye contact
2) does not or will not approach people when need help but to us, parents- he will
3) poor or no social skills. Very much always alone in group play.
4) cannot answer open ended questions like 'why?'
5) sensory issues to sound & clothes texture (wet, tags) but mild & can get over it if we distract him. He has also overcome a few (thunder, drilling noises) over time.
6) cannot read my emotions. When I'm crying, he can still come up to me and ask for say, his milk. But when asked, he can tell I'm crying but no empathy on his part. Neither did he show any joy/anger/jealousy after I return home from my second delivery. Instead the first thing he did was to ask me for my iPhone. :roll:
7) does not respond to outsiders. But when prompted he will mumble his answer with no eye contact. cannot describe his needs/wants with his own words tend to parrot after what I taught him how to ask/say in that particular situations. It always seem that I've to teach him the exact sentence to say for every situation. Although he knows how to tweak them & use them in appropriate context. However, this has improved over time.
9) likes to ask repeatedly 'where are we going?' even though he's been told many times over.
10) cannot maintain conversation.
To the naked eye, he seems very normal. That's why my friends & relatives say I'm overly worried. But from my own readings, it seems that it's highly possible that he's on the spectrum albeit very mild. I think alot of us think autism as those who seem indifferent all the time & has outward signs like hand flapping, jumping. But based on what I've gathered, not necessary. It can also be so subtle and some may be not be diagnosed or at a much later age. I've read some mummies sharing of their kid's signs & despite the dr's assessment it was hard to accept because the kid is communicative. But a person who is verbal (like a normal person), appears to be smart can also have autism. The thing is the spectrum is very very broad.
So I'm suspecting that my son has autism. But his cognitive learning is advanced & he's compliant & non disruptive in his kindergarten class, I believe he's able to go mainstream?
Your boy sounds like mine. Mine has been diagnosed with High functioning autism. Like yours, mine also asked me for my iPhone after I slipped and sprained my ankle. He is also mostly compliant, doesn't have meltdowns and non disruptive. Will not ask for help except from us either. Plays alone and doesn't initiate play. His conversation is mainly centred around things of his interest and cannot carry a conversation well. He quotes from books that he reads as part of his conversation. And he is also very smart. Like yours, others can't tell that he has autism, just that he's a little quirky or shy. Because it's such a huge spectrum and we don't understand the condition well, we also only got him diagnosed at 5 years old, just a month before he went to primary 1. He's now in a mainstream primary sch with some help from the teacher and AED. To us, we have felt that something wasn't right with him for a long time but we weren't sure what it was.
It's ok, just get him diagnosed to see if u have been right. I was also questioning myself if I was worrying too much. Somehow getting the diagnosis helped us move forward and decide on the next step and that we need to teach him some skills that typical kids learn easily on their own. -
Hi mashy
Yes, your son does sound similar to mine. Academically, my son is also advanced. It's very easy to teach him as he learns almost instantly & remembers all that he has been taught. That's why I thought it strange that his language/ spoken skills is so vastly apart from his cognitive development. However, my son doesn't really quote from other sources during conversation only at play. He tries to form his own replies but it all always come out grammatically wrong. For instance if I ask him 'what is the clothes we wear at night?' he can reply immediately 'pajamas'. At the very next moment I asked, 'so what is a pajamas?' his instant reply was 'I don't know'. When prompted he can only come up with 'night' but I asked if 'night means pajamas?' he says no, then changes his answer to 'morning...afternoon' :roll: very frustrating. :stupid:
Did you send your son to a school with asd support? My original plan was to send him to my own school. But now that he's possibly asd, I'm not so sure. He's five, which means ive to start looking. :sad: so sian. Since your son is non disruptive & complaint, why the need for AED (that's an assistant teacher right?)? -
Yup, I will go ahead with the test. At least I will know. If he has then we can move forward rather than be in a limbo all the time. I told my husband, I would be happy to be laughed at if the result shows I was overly worried. My husband is the calm one. To him, nothing will change even with the diagnosis. I don’t know if he truly understands the impact but he seems to be unaffected.
Can I ask, what to expect during the autism test? He has 3 sessions of two hours each. I was told I’m not allowed to sit in. Is that true? Will the test touch on his IQ & other aspect? I was told only autism but I read some reports are comprehensive which includes IQ, learning style etc. -
Blokus:
Same. My boy also don't answer to the point. Ask him A he answers B. totally unrelated.Hi mashy
Yes, your son does sound similar to mine. Academically, my son is also advanced. It's very easy to teach him as he learns almost instantly & remembers all that he has been taught. That's why I thought it strange that his language/ spoken skills is so vastly apart from his cognitive development. However, my son doesn't really quote from other sources during conversation only at play. He tries to form his own replies but it all always come out grammatically wrong. For instance if I ask him 'what is the clothes we wear at night?' he can reply immediately 'pajamas'. At the very next moment I asked, 'so what is a pajamas?' his instant reply was 'I don't know'. When prompted he can only come up with 'night' but I asked if 'night means pajamas?' he says no, then changes his answer to 'morning...afternoon' :roll: very frustrating. :stupid:
Did you send your son to a school with asd support? My original plan was to send him to my own school. But now that he's possibly asd, I'm not so sure. He's five, which means ive to start looking. :sad: so sian. Since your son is non disruptive & complaint, why the need for AED (that's an assistant teacher right?)?
Now all pri schs have AED support. But u can find out more about how helpful your sch is. He doesn't cry and scream in class but occasionally he will blank out and walk about. Also he doesn't wanna write. He's participative in class discussion but when it comes to sch work, he refuses to write. So need the AED to get him started. And of course, it's because there were 2 autistic kids in class, so the teacher could request for help.
For the test, we went thru a 3-4 hr test. First part the psychologist played with him, asked him questions and also did a short interview with us. 2nd part, e IQ test, we couldn't sit in and were told to fill up a general ability form. She concluded that he had poor communication, fleeting eye contact, doesn't ask for help, doesn't know how to end a conversation etc. also high iq. Can go mainstream school. Btw, the longer he takes at iq test, that means the higher his iq. We didn't know that and we were puzzled why the psychologist kept telling us it took a long while because he could answer a lot of questions. Apparently, they stop the section the moment the kids gave the wrong answer. So taking a long time at the iq test is good news. -
slmkhoo:
My hb said the same thing too. No matter what happens, he's still e same boy we love. But in Singapore context, we need the diagnosis to get additional help ESP in pri sch. It also helps the teachers in knowing that he is not misbehaving, just that he couldnt help himself sometimes. Also, with the diagnosis, we can apply for Chinese exemption. It's a huge thing for us because he simply couldn't cope with two languages. He already has prob verbally with one.Blokus:
Yup, I will go ahead with the test. At least I will know. If he has then we can move forward rather than be in a limbo all the time. I told my husband, I would be happy to be laughed at if the result shows I was overly worried. My husband is the calm one. To him, nothing will change even with the diagnosis. I don't know if he truly understands the impact but he seems to be unaffected.
I kind of agree with your husband. That's why we didn't bother to test until my daughter was 14yo when we realised that she may need accommodations for exams, and Singapore school teachers are less accommodating too (we are overseas at the moment). However, even without a formal diagnosis, we did a lot of reading up and knew more or less what issues she faced, and we dealt with them one by one ourselves. You have already identified some issues and seem to be dealing with them, so a diagnosis will really not do much for you, I think. Some of the issues you just have to accept - things like eye contact can only be corrected a little because sometimes looking at a person's face is uncomfortable or too distracting for the child, and makes holding a conversation harder. For some of the conversation issues, keep practising and it will get better. We accept that our daughter will always be rather awkward in conversation, but she has improved over the years, just slower to develop than average. Even now at 15yo, 'why' questions are harder for her (and it shows in schoolwork), even though her teachers say she is very intelligent in many ways. -
Mashy: thanks! So you sat in the test? Yours sounds like it's just one session? My gripe is that each session is 2 hours long X 3 times! I don't know if my son can 'tahan'! Sorry, you might have shared before, but mind sharing what made you go for the assessment? On your own accord or teacher's recommendation?
Simkhoo: funnily, at home he sort of can go back & forth conversing with us but not entirely in depth la. Actually at home he's like a normal kid that's why we (esp my hub) didn't think he needed to be assessed. But each time I observe him in public he's ability to speak/interact falls to a notch! So I've to begged my husband to let my son go for a check. Not to label him but at least we would know what is the root of the problem & we know how to move forward. Now we are all in a limbo. So frustrating for both my son & me. Ive to say you & your hub were very cool but i also feel that the best therapy comes the parents. Glad that your girl is doing great! Gives me some ray of hope!
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Blokus:
Ya, mine was only 1 session x 3-4hrs for the psychology test cum iq test. We could only sit in for the first part. We did it on our own accord. His teachers thought he's ok altho he doesn't initiate play and doesn't do his homework and wanders off. I guess they said that coz he could read very well and is very knowledgeable. We felt that something isn't right coz he doesn't talk to other pp. when we were outside, he couldn't recall his own classmate! Someone whom he talked about a few months back of being 'noti' in class. His class is very small and he had grown up with her for 3 yrs. He didn't even said hi. He simply ignored her even when she kept trying to say hi. He's rather quirky and not like other kids. He didn't tell me much about his sch and only answered yes no questions. He was also obsessed with science until even my mil was alarmed. My mil was always the one who said he's alright, just shy. He had speech delay and handwriting probs so we were having therapy for about 2 years already. I asked one of the therapists for her opinion and she agreed that we should check out CDC for an assessment. But mainly it's us parents who observed that difference in him with other kids. All others thought he was alright and he would outgrow it. I guess the results really gave us some closure instead of always wondering.Mashy: thanks! So you sat in the test? Yours sounds like it's just one session? My gripe is that each session is 2 hours long X 3 times! I don't know if my son can 'tahan'! Sorry, you might have shared before, but mind sharing what made you go for the assessment? On your own accord or teacher's recommendation?
Simkhoo: funnily, at home he sort of can go back & forth conversing with us but not entirely in depth la. Actually at home he's like a normal kid that's why we (esp my hub) didn't think he needed to be assessed. But each time I observe him in public he's ability to speak/interact falls to a notch! So I've to begged my husband to let my son go for a check. Not to label him but at least we would know what is the root of the problem & we know how to move forward. Now we are all in a limbo. So frustrating for both my son & me. Ive to say you & your hub were very cool but i also feel that the best therapy comes the parents. Glad that your girl is doing great! Gives me some ray of hope! -
Mashy:
Closure! That's what I'm looking for! I'm very exhausted trying to figure out 'something's not right but don't know what'. Yet, I don't know what the diagnosis will do to me. As it is, I feel anger toward my son. Yes, I am fully aware it's not his fault, probably us- our genes. I guess it's my coping mechanism.
Your boy sounds very gifted. Reminds me of this boy http://reesematthewkam.blogspot.sg/ he's very gifted also very interested in science related topic. His mother pulled him out of school to homeschool him because he wasn't very cooperative in class. He hasn't got a diagnosis yet although suspected Aspergers. His Drs are reluctant to 'label' ( I hate that word) so they are still observing. But he seems fine to me now. -
Simkhoo: you are probably right. I reckon that's why my hub thinks our son is 'alright'. Even for me, when at home, I feel 'oh he's fine' but I cringe whenever we are out with our friends. 'cause it is obvious (to me) he's different & I almost always see confusion written on my friends' faces when talking to him. And I always have to explain what he's trying to say because he likes to give an answer with 'no head, no tail'. It's just that we are used to the way he talks & he knows that we understand him. I so wish we can fast forward the test. I need the answer now!!!!! :stompfeet:
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i just know from my tailor her son is 17yo, still in special school call "orchid" duno way?
still duno how to interact…
he can know how to go take bus himself & cook for himself…
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