All About Life Without Maids

[Dekora]

Dear mummies, how do you get your hubbies to chip in? I feel that I’m already doing Soo much so when hubby remarked that he is tired from work when asked to do some housework, I feel like roaring at him!I’m working and I need to do housework as well as looking after the kid!but I know if I do so, we will just end up feeling frustrated with one another but I’m really very angry!

[Imami]

Dekora:

Dear mummies, how do you get your hubbies to chip in? I feel that I'm already doing Soo much so when hubby remarked that he is tired from work when asked to do some housework, I feel like roaring at him!I'm working and I need to do housework as well as looking after the kid!but I know if I do so, we will just end up feeling frustrated with one another but I'm really very angry!

Got. He chips in to pay :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

I handles 90% of the housework , child handles maybe 5% and hubby 5%. I pay 10% of the expenses, he pays 90%. Fair right? :evil:

[Dekora]

That’s a good idea,imami! When I ask him to do household chores, it is either half hearted done or else his "ok" will be days or weeks later. So I end up doing them, but still feeling frustrated!now, I will direct this anger else where!make him foot my new roomba! Just wondering for those with roomba, what happens to your vaccum cleaner and magic clean broom? Too many items cluttered in the store room already

[Imami]

Dekora:

That's a good idea,imami! When I ask him to do household chores, it is either half hearted done or else his \"ok\" will be days or weeks later. So I end up doing them, but still feeling frustrated!now, I will direct this anger else where!make him foot my new roomba! Just wondering for those with roomba, what happens to your vaccum cleaner and magic clean broom? Too many items cluttered in the store room already

Er... Actually I still use my magic clean broom leh. Irobot does not clean Those narrow corners. Every three weeks or so, I will do one round of magic clean sweep. But on the whole,Irobot saves me lots of time. Sweeping/vacuum takes me an hour or so every week. With irobot, it's 20-30min every three weeks/one month. Nice.

The vacuum is erm... Collecting dust now lor

The husbands have their own ideas about chores - what's impt, what's urgent (read: to be done after a few days) or what's worth doing (which may not be impt or urgent).

Rather than getting all worked up and unhappy, I decided that we would do it this way - I am the main care giver (the home and child) and he, the main provider. I do the chores better/faster/more economically and he earns much more than me, so it makes sense to do it thus way.

This can be a sensitive subject. Raise with extra caution. Especially if the income disparity/disposable income between you both is negligible. Also, need to consider the stress/physical demand of your hubby's job. Oh yes, also need to consider if your idea of \"shd buy\" and \"good buy\" is accepted by your hubby wholeheartedly.

For instance on disposable income. I have a colleague whose hubby earn more than her by maybe 30%. But he needs to pay for his dad's nursing home and medical expenses which, according to my friend, is expensive. After deducting all the dad's expenses, the hubby has little left. Just enough to cover the car expenses, his own personal expenses and occasional DVDs for the family.

Another example on stress/physical demand - my hubby is holding a global role which requires him to travel for work often. Smetimes in a stretch of three weeks, come back four days and off again for one month. Like that, how to assign him chores?

example on spending habits - I am thrifty by nature (maybe due to hardship during childhood). I go for mostly house brands and will take the pain of going to different super markets/wet markets for good deals. When there's a good deal, I will in stock in dozens/tens. And these can translate into a thousand a month if I in stock milk powder, chicken essence, diapers, drinks, health products etc (but of cos, subsequent months will see a drop in expenditure la). Is your hubby ok with such spending habits?

[Imami]

I forget to expand on the "shd buy" and "good buy" bit. I feel that we shd eat well so I don’t sting on food (but I don’t exactly spurge lah). I spend a lot on fish, especially cod fish fillets and these are expensive. Another person may think any fish will do. I am also into health supplements. We can drink up a dozen (yes, 12) of chicken essence among us - child, me and hubby - each week. Child doesn’t really drink chk essence per se. I do use chk Essense in cooking, so child "drinks" from the gravy/soup in is prepared with chk Essense as one of the ingredient,


When I see a good deal (e.g buy one for one), I will seriously sweep the whole rack if it is a staple at home. Not all husbands can stand this.

[BeContented]

Imami:

I forget to expand on the \"shd buy\" and \"good buy\" bit. I feel that we shd eat well so I don't sting on food (but I don't exactly spurge lah). I spend a lot on fish, especially cod fish fillets and these are expensive. Another person may think any fish will do. I am also into health supplements. We can drink up a dozen (yes, 12) of chicken essence among us - child, me and hubby - each week. Child doesn't really drink chk essence per se. I do use chk Essense in cooking, so child \"drinks\" from the gravy/soup in is prepared with chk Essense as one of the ingredient,


When I see a good deal (e.g buy one for one), I will seriously sweep the whole rack if it is a staple at home. Not all husbands can stand this.

:salute:

[Imami]

BeContented:

Imami:

I forget to expand on the \"shd buy\" and \"good buy\" bit. I feel that we shd eat well so I don't sting on food (but I don't exactly spurge lah). I spend a lot on fish, especially cod fish fillets and these are expensive. Another person may think any fish will do. I am also into health supplements. We can drink up a dozen (yes, 12) of chicken essence among us - child, me and hubby - each week. Child doesn't really drink chk essence per se. I do use chk Essense in cooking, so child \"drinks\" from the gravy/soup in is prepared with chk Essense as one of the ingredient,


When I see a good deal (e.g buy one for one), I will seriously sweep the whole rack if it is a staple at home. Not all husbands can stand this.

:salute:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: jialat hor? Mummies who are keen to try this\" I do chores but you pay all\" idea, please - don't let the husband read this page of the thread! :rotflmao:

[Dekora]

babycutie71:

Do u soak the laundry with detergent overnight & rinse off the soap b4 putting them to wash in the WM?


Any other shorter way to ensure clothes are clean without the soaking?

I tried using colour bleach for some of the clothes which I know the colour won't run.
But sometimes I feel that soaking clothes causes the clothes to smell instead. Not sure if anyone feels the same

[Dekora]

Simkhoo,

What an understanding husband u got. Mine still needs brainwashing and training. I’m just upset by the fact that the word "tired" is a blanket phase to avoid household chores. And so many other things eg: reading newspaper and on the iPhone seems more important. ESP to a ftwm, every spare time is so precious.
And yesh, my husband thinks my standards are high but when the place is not as clean, he starts to remark this, remarks that.

Maybe I should start stating what are the chores he is responsible instead of me nagging day in day out

[Dekora]

Imami,

Wao!i don’t think I have the strength to lug home all the goods haha! salute can’t imagine up keeping the family if my husband is often not around. But I do agree when it comes to $$, must proceed with care. Don’t want to come across that his wife is a money grabber especially both of us need to give maintainance $ to our respective families. But at least your method I do feel more balanced in the sense provide according to each other abilities