All About Autism

[Blokus]

Hi mums


How do your kids react after being reprimanded? Mine will keep quiet but gets over it in the next second & maybe say things like ‘can I play now?’ almost immediately after being scolded. So I’m often unsure if he truly understands my anger. But when asked why mummy is angry, he can say why. Punishment or withdrawal of privileges might get him upset for awhile but he gets over it very quickly & moves on which then nullifies any punishment. What or how do you discipline your kids? Is caning effective?

[Blokus]

And oh, do you get extremely frustrated with your children? I do & sometimes I feel like & worried I’m hurting his esteem with my anger. Yet i cant help it. I feel like im hitting a wall each time despite telling him over & over again. But he appears to be unaffected. Not sure. Cause as I said, he gets over scolding very quickly. I can’t tell if he’s hurting inside. Outwardly, everything is unchanged.

[ImMeeMee]

Blokus:

Hi mums


How do your kids react after being reprimanded? Mine will keep quiet but gets over it in the next second & maybe say things like 'can I play now?' almost immediately after being scolded. So I'm often unsure if he truly understands my anger. But when asked why mummy is angry, he can say why. Punishment or withdrawal of privileges might get him upset for awhile but he gets over it very quickly & moves on which then nullifies any punishment. What or how do you discipline your kids? Is caning effective?

When dd3 misbehaves, I will tell her that I am angry and there are times I smack her hand. Sometimes she understands and subsequently will talk about it with me, sometimes she doesnt and repeat the behavior.

In fact, its my NT dd1 who has the behavior like your son above, and that really drives me :stupid:

I have been feeling quite frustrated coaching dd3, as recently she fluctuates quite a lot. Certain times when she is motivated she can be very responsive, and certain times its vice versa. Its on her terms as to when she is motivated and when not, so on occasions when I expect her to know certain things she turns out otherwise, and that freaks me out. :stompfeet:

I have been teaching myself not to have expectations when coaching her, cos its the expectations that drives the frustration. I keep telling myself that I just need to teach her repeatedly until one day she gets it on a consistent basis, but sometimes it can be quite hard to unlearn what we have all learnt.

:frustrated:

[Blokus]

Simkhoo: Haiyo, after scolding him he can still go lalala :imcool: but like you, my hub's reaction to that is 'good what'. The thing is, I don't know if any of my scolding & punishment has any effect on him. To him it's like nothing lor, have then have, don't have then don't have. :stupid: So I'm questioning how effective are punishment on him. And if I should use a different approach.


Immeemee: hahaha cannot help but feel tickled by the similes you used. I think you are right. Expectations can kill. Adjusting our expectations according to their abilities may help to reduce frustrations.

Mummies: His autism test is coming up, I'm nervy. What should I be expecting? My son's not very expressive and may say 'I don't know' as the easy way out even though he actually knows the answer. I'm worried the result may do injustice to what he knows & can do.

[Gifts from Heaven]

Blokus,

To me, the assessmt result just confirms if my suspicions abt my child is true or not…puts my mind at ease, else I will be wondering everytime when I hit a roadblock with my child if he is normal. Also, it gives me an idea what I can do to help the child in his weak areas, n where are his strong areas. And finally, the result fr the assessmt can be used as a shield for my child when he gets into "sticky" situations outside the home, where people are less forgiving.
I’m not sure if the autism test which u mention is the IQ test. If it is, then the test will cover both verbal and non-verbal aspects. There are questions whereby the child just need to manipulate blocks, dun need to talk.
Anyway, whether you want to believe in the result or not is all up to you. If u think that the result is not reflective of what he knows, then u can choose not to take up the recommendations proposed. So dun need to be overly worried.

[mashy]

Blokus:

Hi mums


How do your kids react after being reprimanded? Mine will keep quiet but gets over it in the next second & maybe say things like 'can I play now?' almost immediately after being scolded. So I'm often unsure if he truly understands my anger. But when asked why mummy is angry, he can say why. Punishment or withdrawal of privileges might get him upset for awhile but he gets over it very quickly & moves on which then nullifies any punishment. What or how do you discipline your kids? Is caning effective?

Mine is like that too. Caning helps to make him do things that he doesn't want to do. So for me it's effective. I have done rewards and punishment and they all aren't very meaningful to him. Like I said I will give him iPad time (which he likes very much) if he does it and caning/hold book up if he doesn't, end up still didn't do and had to punish.

[helplessmum3]

Blokus n gifts


How old is yr child ?

[helplessmum3]

Now I scold my son he know already … He will feel upset or Try to manipulate the situation by huggIng n kissIng me.


Works on their awareness , that’s will be great helP.

[Double E]

My boy achieved a major milestone today. He finally can sit thru a haircut without any fuss! Hope this good behavior continues. And I must thank u mothers for giving the idea to prep him using a picture story. I showed him the steps thru pictures a week in advance, that helped him understand what to expect.

[Blokus]

Gifts from heaven


I agree. The result of the test is merely to explain his poor social & communication skills. For now, I'm so clueless. Why is he not talking in school? Why can't express himself well? I hope to have an answer really soon so that I know how to move on. For now, I sometimes think he's a normal kid and when he can't communicate properly, I tend to clam down hard on him because I'm not expecting a typical 5 year old to speak like he does. Very frustrating to a point where I'm loose my patience and temper easily these days. :sad:

But thanks for the advice. You are right, if the test isn't the true reflection of his abilities, I can choose to ignore it.

Simkhoo;

Precisely! Something that hurts. But I can't find it. He likes the iPad, so I disallow him to play. He gets upset at that moment. But gets over it. Even caning him, he cries at that moment. But once it's over, he goes on his merry ways. is this part of Asd?

DoubleE
:rahrah: congrats! I must dig out the past post. My son hates haircut too! The father is his personal barber!