All About Autism

[mashy]

sook:

Hi Mashy, may I know where did you get the diagnose from?

What kind of test? There is so many kind of therapists and type of tests, not sure which, where and how to start.

mashy:

[quote=\"Blokus\"]Hi

I'm a mom of a potential asd 5 year old boy. He's waiting to see the psychologist in a few months time. Meanwhile, I've been reading up & have been wavering between being sure he's not on the spectrum and that he is.

Why I think he's not
1) he can communicate I,e answer questions
2) he's fully aware & in tune with his environment
3) he rarely has meltdowns
4) interacts with me & hub like a normal kid.
5) no behavioral issues instead very compliant
6) no rigid routine; extremely adaptable to sudden changes
7) no repeated behavior I.e hand flapping.
no obsession with toys, plays a variety of toys (cars, trains, grocery, board/card games, blocks etc)
9) plays with toys appropriately.

Why I think he is
1) fleeting eye contact
2) does not or will not approach people when need help but to us, parents- he will
3) poor or no social skills. Very much always alone in group play.
4) cannot answer open ended questions like 'why?'
5) sensory issues to sound & clothes texture (wet, tags) but mild & can get over it if we distract him. He has also overcome a few (thunder, drilling noises) over time.
6) cannot read my emotions. When I'm crying, he can still come up to me and ask for say, his milk. But when asked, he can tell I'm crying but no empathy on his part. Neither did he show any joy/anger/jealousy after I return home from my second delivery. Instead the first thing he did was to ask me for my iPhone. :roll:
7) does not respond to outsiders. But when prompted he will mumble his answer with no eye contact.
cannot describe his needs/wants with his own words tend to parrot after what I taught him how to ask/say in that particular situations. It always seem that I've to teach him the exact sentence to say for every situation. Although he knows how to tweak them & use them in appropriate context. However, this has improved over time.
9) likes to ask repeatedly 'where are we going?' even though he's been told many times over.
10) cannot maintain conversation.

To the naked eye, he seems very normal. That's why my friends & relatives say I'm overly worried. But from my own readings, it seems that it's highly possible that he's on the spectrum albeit very mild. I think alot of us think autism as those who seem indifferent all the time & has outward signs like hand flapping, jumping. But based on what I've gathered, not necessary. It can also be so subtle and some may be not be diagnosed or at a much later age. I've read some mummies sharing of their kid's signs & despite the dr's assessment it was hard to accept because the kid is communicative. But a person who is verbal (like a normal person), appears to be smart can also have autism. The thing is the spectrum is very very broad.

So I'm suspecting that my son has autism. But his cognitive learning is advanced & he's compliant & non disruptive in his kindergarten class, I believe he's able to go mainstream?

Hi blokus

Your boy sounds like mine. Mine has been diagnosed with High functioning autism. Like yours, mine also asked me for my iPhone after I slipped and sprained my ankle. He is also mostly compliant, doesn't have meltdowns and non disruptive. Will not ask for help except from us either. Plays alone and doesn't initiate play. His conversation is mainly centred around things of his interest and cannot carry a conversation well. He quotes from books that he reads as part of his conversation. And he is also very smart. Like yours, others can't tell that he has autism, just that he's a little quirky or shy. Because it's such a huge spectrum and we don't understand the condition well, we also only got him diagnosed at 5 years old, just a month before he went to primary 1. He's now in a mainstream primary sch with some help from the teacher and AED. To us, we have felt that something wasn't right with him for a long time but we weren't sure what it was.

It's ok, just get him diagnosed to see if u have been right. I was also questioning myself if I was worrying too much. Somehow getting the diagnosis helped us move forward and decide on the next step and that we need to teach him some skills that typical kids learn easily on their own.

[/quote]Dear sook
At kkh CDC. However, we did the therapies at rehab kkh. Never once been to the one at kkh CDC. In fact the dr there told us to go pte as their therapists are no good enough to manage children above 6. After we saw the cDC pd, she referred us to the psychologist. They selected the tests for us, so we didn't need to decide which ones to take. Ours comprise of interview, general ability test, IQ test, and the psychologist worked with my boy in the room to check if he satisfy the autism criterias.

We are still with kkh rehab. Didn't go private coz it's too expensive. We go for speech therapy, occupational therapy and a social skills therapy (combined speech and occupational therapy). For speech, we work on articulation, fluency, creative thinking etc. for OT, we do handwriting, classroom behaviour, for social skills, we work on making friends, Empathy, helping others and classroom behaviour etc.

[sook]

mashy:

sook:

Hi Mashy, may I know where did you get the diagnose from?

What kind of test? There is so many kind of therapists and type of tests, not sure which, where and how to start.

Dear sook
At kkh CDC. However, we did the therapies at rehab kkh. Never once been to the one at kkh CDC. In fact the dr there told us to go pte as their therapists are no good enough to manage children above 6. After we saw the cDC pd, she referred us to the psychologist. They selected the tests for us, so we didn't need to decide which ones to take. Ours comprise of interview, general ability test, IQ test, and the psychologist worked with my boy in the room to check if he satisfy the autism criterias.

We are still with kkh rehab. Didn't go private coz it's too expensive. We go for speech therapy, occupational therapy and a social skills therapy (combined speech and occupational therapy). For speech, we work on articulation, fluency, creative thinking etc. for OT, we do handwriting, classroom behaviour, for social skills, we work on making friends, Empathy, helping others and classroom behaviour etc.

Hi Mashy, Thx for your advise. Does it mean i first go to KKH CDC? How do i make appointment? Or do i need referrral letter from polyclinic?
My girl does not show any typical symptoms of AS, therefor when a educational therapist (i think thats what she is called) pointed to me the possibility, i was shocked. So, now thinking of getting a more firm diagnosis.

[Blokus]

Sook


If you go direct without referral from polyclinic, you will have to pay private rates. With the referral, your child will be seen at subsidized rate. That’s the difference. I think the latter also means longer wait time. You can also go to NUH CDC that’s in jurong.

Oh, why then did the therapist suggested she might be on the spectrum?

[Audvis]

Hi Blokus

I have read up quite a bit too. Just that on that day, I didn’t think his "misbehaviour" was due to any task demand that was beyond him. It was just plain mischief, defiance and a "I don’t care" attitude.

[ImMeeMee]

Audvis


If I may. I am no good with babies and toddlers, cos I can’t engage them well. I find I have no patience with them and they frustrated me a lot. During the early years, it was my husband that was closer to my gals while I was happily pursuing my career. It was only when they grew up and I could engage them at a level that I am more confident with that things started to get better. Along the way my perspectives changed as well especially after dd3’s condition. I still feel frustrated with my gals but they are short lived cos the joy comes from within.

I think kids are a journey. Things can always change along the way, its what we choose them to be. Not being able to engage them now doesn’t mean you cant engage them forever. If you have the will to change, start with small steps eg. you can increase from 10 sentences to 15 each day, eg you can find ways to control your temper. It starts from us and it comes from within.

It’s tough to unlearn and learn all over again, its tough to change our perspectives since they are all ingrained in us. But its not impossible. It’s the will that drives.

JMHO.

[ArielMermaid]

Audvis,

After I read your posting, I logged out but just could not put what you have written out of my mind.

Excuse me for my frankness: but if anybody were to be blamed for the child’s condition, it’s probably the parents; in the first place, he didn’t even asked to be borne! And unlike anybody else, this condition is inherent in the child and he cannot choose to ignore it. He would have to live with it forever! It’s really heartbreaking to hear that you are discriminating against your own child, and that you appeared to have given up on effective communication with your son. This is bad for everybody: your husband is over-taxed, your daughter thinks that it’s ok to just "ignore" people who are different, even if that person is a close family; God knows what is happening to your poor son’s self-esteem; and I’m sure you’d prefer to have a loving relationship with all of your family.

I am not saying that you have to be loving 100% of the time. Of course, you will lose your temper (I haven’t heard of any involved parent who doesn’t). Of course, sometimes you may do things which you’d regret. But you shouldn’t let that stop you from interacting with your child. Reflect on yourself after every "episode", and see how you can better manage and communicate with your child. And Blokus is right: read up to try to understand why your child acted the way he did and handle him accordingly. I don’t believe a special needs child will disobey out of "plain mischief, defiance and a "I don’t care" attitude". After all, who doesn’t want to be loved? Even if he did defy you intentionally, was it an attempt to get your attention?

Unlike the child who has no choice, we have chosen to give birth to the child; let’s "woman" up and be responsible enough to ensure that the child gets the best you can afford to give; everybody has limited resources, but love and affection are things you can give freely to your own child. It is our DUTY to go the extra mile to ensure he is loved when many others would give up and not make the effort.

In case you are wondering, I am a single working mother of a child with autism (and he is not the quiet, smart kind), so I do know to some extent how difficult the "special" child can be.

I hope I didn’t offend you. It’s just so "heartachy" that I feel compelled to add in.

[Audvis]

Hi ImMeeMee and Seleste, thank you for your views and constructive criticism. Indeed, it’s easier to change ourselves to build a bridge to the ASD child than the other way round. I’m still trying to find an activity that I can engage my son in. Being ASD, his conversation is rather limited and centres on topics tt I can’t contribute anything in, and my questions to him about school usually yield one word answers. Hopefully one day I will be able to engage him better like what ImMeeMee said.

[helplessmum3]

Audvis:

Hi mummies, yesterday my son mis-behaved, not once but 4x. I was trying to control my temper, but the final straw came after the 4th misbehaviour. I beat him and pulled his hair. I felt very bitter towards him as i saw him as the cause of all the misery in my family. I even felt that I would be very happy if my son were dead.


I'm wondering if it is normal to feel so negative about your child, ie hate him so much that you wish he were dead?

U seriously need help ! Pls call social workers u act up because u are stress . U definitely love him dearly. Just tat now u can think properly due to stress. Pls find way to take a break go seaside yrself ok!!

[mashy]

Audvis:

Hi ImMeeMee and Seleste, thank you for your views and constructive criticism. Indeed, it's easier to change ourselves to build a bridge to the ASD child than the other way round. I'm still trying to find an activity that I can engage my son in. Being ASD, his conversation is rather limited and centres on topics tt I can't contribute anything in, and my questions to him about school usually yield one word answers. Hopefully one day I will be able to engage him better like what ImMeeMee said.

What topics do he like now? Mine was also obsessed with science and couldn't tell me anything about school. But lately, that has changed. He has stopped his obsession with science. He still reads about it but doesn't tell me about black holes all the time. He is also able to tell me what happens in school. so things can change. U start by talking to him about what he is interested in. After he is more able to handle a conversation, then u can ask him more open ended questions. Yesterday, his teacher told me that he put up his hand to answer a question she asked and doesn't get out of topic anymore. Yippee!

[ArielMermaid]

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