How to tell if a child is gifted?
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hi all,
i’m new here. read bits and pieces in this long thread here… its been very interesting…
i’m not interested in knowing or labeling my child as ‘gifted’ or not…
just want to seek advice how i can help to develop in the areas that i observe are ‘advanced’ in her…
not going to make a laundry list of all her ‘advanced skills’… just that she does seem advanced in certain areas as compared with her peers… word recognition, phonics, colours, numbers, solving shape puzzles (very strong shape recognition) at 18 months at lightning speed without having to spend much time analyzing them… without drilling… i’m too lazy to flash…
i read to her everyday… let her play with manipulatives…puzzles… let her watch Nick Jr… at 25 months now, she’s only started going for trial classes… hated those that claim to train your ‘right-brain’… loves music & movement… she has little interest in colouring… so i dont force her…
guess i’m on the right track? i dun stress myself out over what she should be covering at her age… etc… just want to know if there’s anything more out there that both of us havent been exposed to?
no personal attacks and sarcasm here pls… its an earnest query.
thank you. -
2Ms, actually, I think you are doing the right things. Just let her enjoy her childhood. I don’t really remember doing much as well. I do remember bringing my son to the bookstore and introduce him to different kinds of stuff there: from activity books, to story books etc etc. I buy anything he likes, and let him do at whatever pace he wants. When he was about 3, he loved this series of activity books (I forgot the name, and I can never find it again for the younger children), and he would finish the whole book in one seating. It was pure fun just going through them. I understand the book is meant for a year’s consumption.
So do things like this. Don’t even bother to know which level she is at. Then, at about 4, my school teacher friend bought some school textbooks for him. I found it so strange, but I used those with him anyway. He enjoyed it (so strange). Maybe keep that in mind as well?
So don’t limit your child, do what you like. Who cares what the school says he should learn. You as the mum should decide together the child what he loves. I hope this helps. -
This is a very interesting thread a friend sent me. I’ve mixture feeling while reading it.
The reason I bit the bullet to get her assessed this year ( 6yo) is bc I truly need to know who she really is, Is she gifted ( so that I could undertsand why she is always bored and sensitive ? or Is she just "highly able" that I could leave her to school to handle.
Since young, her memory was excellent. She could recall entire periodic tables after several rounds of speed reading, bc her memory was good, so her Maths was good too, easy to retain information…I guess. She could recite multiplication tables since 2 by a multiplication CDs, could do simple mental calculation within 1,000 at age 4, could do negatives since 5 with 3 simple illustrations and able to do mental calculation of decimals, fractions and its conversion to percentile to decimal and vice versa…able to perceive numbers smaller than 0, do volumn questions, areas…do simple exponents by reading videoclips in IPAD and now she teaches herself how to do simple algebra from one Maths apps in IPad.
Her reading interests are wild and wide and her words are sharp. She is interesting to me bc she loves to listen to podcasts at age 5, watching many short/long boring science videoclips for hours : What is string theory? Black Holes? Neutrino? What is quarks? what is virus? How to measure universe? What is speedo light? Minutes physics, elements, lectures by professors…etc. So I guess she is curious, I feel she is advanced than her peers in certain aspects in numeracy, science or literacy. We never do spelling/dictation, but at 5 she could write up her short story on "Alien’s Invasion on Earth"and stories about Me ( Mama)…Her stories were interesting but sarcastic especially stories she wrote about me. Back then I thought it was normal bc every child nowadays could read/write very young and I thought she got more exposures so she was fast.
In Malaysia, pre-school is not compulsory and I can homeschool her till 6 so I grab the opportunity to keep her home bc I think roam learning at home is more ideal than confine her to 4 walls… I had no time to cover everything as I moved a lot so I sent her to 2 enrichment classes; piano that she did very well and fast…her teacher liked her, but not so with abacus …there then I started to know she had problems with rules and schools, I constantly received teacher’s complaints of her refusal to comply rules, that she liked to challenge teacher’s authority, that she refused to follow questions , that she refused to put comma to thousand’s place value, that she refused to follow teacher’s way but her way, that she talked non-stop in the class… blah blah…the lists were endless, nothing on social skills but mostly on refusal to follow instructions…
Like said, abacus is rigid, but it is still a good brain training. And I talked her down to submission, since she was a fast learner and she didn’t need much guidance from the teacher, so she could do at her pace and all went smooth but out of sudden problems popped up again that suddenly she refused to do all abacus exercises after half year since commencement, then when I told her my decision to stop abacus class that also she melted and "got extremely upset"…Out of no choice I actually spanked her to submission, a day later she confessed she hated "mistakes" in abacus…What!? Yes, no one likes mistakes, but isn’t that we learn from mistakes as well as manage failures in life? In abacus world, how to not have mistakes for 100 questions done in 12 minutes ? I told her to death no one would/could reprimand her for mistakes done and failures were alright in life and she just needed to learn to manage failures, with that she insisted I must not stop her abacus class, we compromised there and again she confessed to me "all she wanted to do in her life was to be in medicine and she was afraid by me pulling her out from abacus Maths that I would deprive her of that privilege to become a doctor. "…Gosh! I never have the ideas of connection between medicine and Maths, if at all I want her to be deep down my heart is to wish her becoming a super talented singer at least like "Mariah Carey" or ＂孩燕姿"the least, but I can’t force her if she doesn’t come with talent! …you know my surprise!
So after all these incidences, I finally got her assessed. She is in very superior range as mentioned in the report. Here in Malaysia no one bothers about assessment. But I dont care… I think I just need to know her more and more… -
@venuschan: "Hates mistakes" – That’s the perfectionist trait.
I’d that when younger, I got 96 marks for a primary school test from 1 mistake, I cried badly once I reached home even though my mum was happy with the result.
During kindergarten, I still didn’t really understand the concept of marks and ranking. In primary school, I understood. In every single assessment, I wanted perfect score, especially Math, my favourite subject. This trait made me push myself hard, while I truly enjoy learning as well.
When playing board games with family members at home, I wanted to win – all the time. If I were bankrupt in a game of Monopoly, I cried badly (again!) To my parents’ dismay, they found it hard to convince me that people win and lose.
When slightly older, I began to understand that mistakes are inevitable. Through more life experiences. However, that perfectionist trait still lingers. E.g. for every project paper, I’d do it till wee hours in the morning just to get things "perfect" – the language, formatting, everything. A lot of time spent (or wasted), but doing so makes me feel "settled".
So just got to keep exposing the child to more life experiences that mistakes are inevitable. We keep practicing, try our best, make mistakes, pick up and continue going. E.g. watch the current Olympic games to learn from others’ failures and experiences as well.
It’s good that she identified an ambition for herself. Easier to motivate her when needed. Facing ethical issue? Explain how doctors must be grounded in ethics. Refuse to learn a second language? Explain how doctors need to have good communication skills when interviewing patients (who can come from all over the world). My 3-year old boy has "decided" to be a chef (haha!), so it’s quite easy to direct his motivation around his current ambition. -
venuschan:
Indeed great to hear the child has a nice ambition. Just to share with you that it will be difficult for a child to go to university early on a medical course because there are regulations on minimum age for labs. In case you are thinking of that. There are many hoops to jump to get those through.This is a very interesting thread a friend sent me. I've mixture feeling while reading it.
The reason I bit the bullet to get her assessed this year ( 6yo) is bc I truly need to know who she really is, Is she gifted ( so that I could undertsand why she is always bored and sensitive ? or Is she just \"highly able\" that I could leave her to school to handle.
Since young, her memory was excellent. She could recall entire periodic tables after several rounds of speed reading, bc her memory was good, so her Maths was good too, easy to retain information....I guess. She could recite multiplication tables since 2 by a multiplication CDs, could do simple mental calculation within 1,000 at age 4, could do negatives since 5 with 3 simple illustrations and able to do mental calculation of decimals, fractions and its conversion to percentile to decimal and vice versa....able to perceive numbers smaller than 0, do volumn questions, areas......do simple exponents by reading videoclips in IPAD and now she teaches herself how to do simple algebra from one Maths apps in IPad.
Her reading interests are wild and wide and her words are sharp. She is interesting to me bc she loves to listen to podcasts at age 5, watching many short/long boring science videoclips for hours : What is string theory? Black Holes? Neutrino? What is quarks? what is virus? How to measure universe? What is speedo light? Minutes physics, elements, lectures by professors...etc. So I guess she is curious, I feel she is advanced than her peers in certain aspects in numeracy, science or literacy. We never do spelling/dictation, but at 5 she could write up her short story on \"Alien's Invasion on Earth\"and stories about Me ( Mama)...Her stories were interesting but sarcastic especially stories she wrote about me. Back then I thought it was normal bc every child nowadays could read/write very young and I thought she got more exposures so she was fast.
In Malaysia, pre-school is not compulsory and I can homeschool her till 6 so I grab the opportunity to keep her home bc I think roam learning at home is more ideal than confine her to 4 walls.... I had no time to cover everything as I moved a lot so I sent her to 2 enrichment classes; piano that she did very well and fast....her teacher liked her, but not so with abacus ....there then I started to know she had problems with rules and schools, I constantly received teacher's complaints of her refusal to comply rules, that she liked to challenge teacher's authority, that she refused to follow questions , that she refused to put comma to thousand's place value, that she refused to follow teacher's way but her way, that she talked non-stop in the class.... blah blah....the lists were endless, nothing on social skills but mostly on refusal to follow instructions....
Like said, abacus is rigid, but it is still a good brain training. And I talked her down to submission, since she was a fast learner and she didn't need much guidance from the teacher, so she could do at her pace and all went smooth but out of sudden problems popped up again that suddenly she refused to do all abacus exercises after half year since commencement, then when I told her my decision to stop abacus class that also she melted and \"got extremely upset\".......Out of no choice I actually spanked her to submission, a day later she confessed she hated \"mistakes\" in abacus.....What!? Yes, no one likes mistakes, but isn't that we learn from mistakes as well as manage failures in life? In abacus world, how to not have mistakes for 100 questions done in 12 minutes ? I told her to death no one would/could reprimand her for mistakes done and failures were alright in life and she just needed to learn to manage failures, with that she insisted I must not stop her abacus class, we compromised there and again she confessed to me \"all she wanted to do in her life was to be in medicine and she was afraid by me pulling her out from abacus Maths that I would deprive her of that privilege to become a doctor. \".......Gosh! I never have the ideas of connection between medicine and Maths, if at all I want her to be deep down my heart is to wish her becoming a super talented singer at least like \"Mariah Carey\" or ＂孩燕姿\"the least, but I can't force her if she doesn't come with talent! ........you know my surprise!
So after all these incidences, I finally got her assessed. She is in very superior range as mentioned in the report. Here in Malaysia no one bothers about assessment. But I dont care.... I think I just need to know her more and more....
Having said that, many parents and exceptionally gifted children made it through the regulations and systems, so here's wishing you the best as well! You'll just have to keep researching and keep praying that you will meet the right people along the way. I had my own share of joy and heartaches along the way, and am happy to find some kind of stability hopefully for at least the next few years.
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@MieVie: You are absolutely right. She still goes to abacus class, more open, less grumpy, still dislikes mistakes…She complains to me too her teacher, very strict and very demanding…Nobody likes demanding teacher, I guess, but think again this is part of life experiences especially when the class is full of kids, that a gentle tecaher is likely to turn into fierce, she just has to learn from mistakes she made, learns from mistakes and get perfection, has to remember why Thomas Alva Edission had to do a thousand mistakes only to get one thing right.
@2ppaamm: Thanks so much for your insightful advice. I would always put into my radar. Can’t agree with you more… I scared dearly thinking of her first day in school next year onwards. I’ m very appreciative of her confession to me her ambition and I would definitely help her to achieve if she shows persistency, moving along with that, I too wish she could also develop her strong passion in voice or anything to do with numbers… -
Share here an insightful article of a mother with her twice exceptional child..
http://www.greatpotentialpress.com/on-being-the-parent-of-a-2e-child -
Funz:
Is he their only child?Mashy, 2ppaamm,
We suspect that there is something different about this boy but just could not put a finger to it. We have suggested many times for the parents to send him for some assessments the parents did not want to. My teachers are at a lost. They feel bad that this child is not making progress in their class and does not seem to find any joy in any of their activities. They have been trying ways and means to engage him but his response is still one of disinterest. A teacher bought him a puzzle for his birthday and asked his parents if he liked the gift. The mum told the teacher, he did not open it at all. :faint: We probed the parents further asking them what peaks their son's interest, what activities do they do with him at home. Answer is, iPad. :slapshead:
Some parents don't intervene at all. Some parents intervene too much. My fil just said he thinks my child has too much activities in his life..... :roll: -
linden2000:
Agree. They do not like drilling and can get very poor grades.Chenonceau:
[quote=\"sean wife\"]Are most gifted kids naturally motivated?
No.
Gifted kids dun like to learn boring things or in a boring way. If you bore them they won't engage and then they will get very poor grades.
Especially in lower primary, when a lot of the focus is on handwriting and punctuation, they can get frustrated when many marks are deducted for punctuation mistakes or bad handwriting.
For Maths, they may be able to figure out the answers in their head but do not write down the workings or jump steps and hence, lose many marks though they get the final answers right. Similarly for Science, they may have the vast knowledge in their heads but when answering the questions do not write down the key words which the markers look out for and so still do not get the marks.
And for some gifted children, because they are so used to acquiring knowledge fast when they are younger, may give up more easily when stumped by difficult material when they are older. Some gifted children are underachievers.[/quote]My 2nd DS is like those highlighted in blue. My concern is how to deal with him? He can scored very high marks or can even near to fail for the same subject. So its kind of scared me. Don't really know how to handle him sometimes and his teacher always complain he cannot sit properly in class. In Singapore, the system is that you need to pass or get good marks so I kind of worried for him. :sick: -
I don’t think he is gifted and there should be many children are like that too. Can you all suggest how to motivate them to study at least?
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