Parents, let's solve this problem for our kids

[3Boys]

Excellent thread SH. We do indeed need to work hard at this problem of procreation. As much as I hate to admit it, part of the answer may be in the liberalising of concepts of what a traditional family unit is. So support for single parent families may need to come to the fore. Better work life balance, certainly.


Also, we need to encourage our children to have kids earlier. Seeing so many couples struggle with sub-fertility when they reach mid-30s and beyond before trying for children, is really heartbreaking. It is real, but many couples don’t think it will happen to them.

Last, all the finger pointing at failed g’ment policies is unhelpful. Yes, they made a big boo-boo, the policies, and amateurish clumsy attempts at eugenics plainly inequitable and derisory. But its in the past, no point crying over spilt milk. The g’ment have plainly recanted their past policies, so lets not use that as an excuse not to have children, just to spite the PAP.

[3Boys]

VERY nice blog, by the way.

[pirate]

I seriously doubt that "Stop at Two" had got anything to do with the problem at hand. I refuse to have babies because mom and pop had to stop at two 30 years ago? Seriously. It’s just a lame excuse used by PAP bashers.


What Singapore has to decide really is, do we want more babies or do we want more dual income families? Sure, some dual income families do fine with babies. But given the stress that comes with trying to juggle all the various roles, how many make more than two? Most of the families I know with more than 2 kids have one working parent and one stay-at-home parent.

Now, what does our 30 years of statistical research say about that?

[verykiasu2010]

pirate:

I seriously doubt that \"Stop at Two\" had got anything to do with the problem at hand. I refuse to have babies because mom and pop had to stop at two 30 years ago? Seriously. It's just a lame excuse used by PAP bashers.

and I found myself agreeing with a pirate ! :evil:

[3Boys]

verykiasu2010:

pirate:

I seriously doubt that \"Stop at Two\" had got anything to do with the problem at hand. I refuse to have babies because mom and pop had to stop at two 30 years ago? Seriously. It's just a lame excuse used by PAP bashers.

and I found myself agreeing with a pirate ! :evil:

Ahem...me too :evil:

[SilentHermit]

I am very glad some people have visited my blog. I thank everyone for their comments. I am really an amateur blogger and I am even having a hard time trying to figure out dashboard controls. Anyway, that’s besides the point.


I am seriously putting up a proposal to the authorities. Any feedback about the topics would be very valuable for me and help me do a better job.

I understand that this issue is a big one, but like I said before, if only all of us speak up a little here and there, it will help. I thought putting up a blog would create some responses, however, although I clock a hundred page views a day, comments, suggestions and ideas are not forthcoming. I receive zero emails till date. I do not care if the blog page sucks or my English is broken, all I care about is to gather enough information to put a comprehensive proposal together. So, guys, please flood me with your thoughts.

I promise this is what I will do:
1) Gather all the views, organize them into readable format
2) Upon compilation, send it to the respective authorities with credits saying this are info from myself, as well as public domains, esp KSP forum
3) I will publish my proposal online

Hope to hear more from everyone
Cheers

SH

[beanbear]

Hi SilentHermit,


It’s commendable of you to do this. I’ve 4 kids and the only comment I’ve had from many people who know meet me is "You’re so brave", not "How wonderful!." That’s the reality of Singapore. It takes courage to have babies in Singapore because the perception is that life is tough here. Every child I’ve had given birth to, I’ve had little help from the government. My first child born 12 years ago came at a cost of $20,000 from our savings in order to pay for fertility treatments.

We’ve been blessed to have 3 more without any interventions. Praise God.

Because I’ve had the experience of knowing how difficult it can be to conceive, I’ve on my own accord, spoken with colleagues, friends who delay having babies, because they think they are not ready. They don’t even think they may have a problem if they choose to have one later.

My suggestions would be:

1. the government should make fertility treatments financially affordable because this is the group that have so much desire to have babies and would love to have multiples after that. Give this group a leg up. Give lots of subsidy please.

2. Publicize more inspiring stories of family life. Build communities of people with good family life built on solid values & commitment to their children. Promote activities that bring families together frequently, not just eat the cursory "eat with your family" campaign, or father or mother’s day celebration. In my community of friends, we all have at least 3 children. We celebrate our children’s existence and we have a great time taking our kids on holidays and outings together. We need more stories celebrating family life, stories of large families. The reality show on "The Duggars family", a family with 19 children is a great example of America celebrating a large family. Maybe we could have a Singapore reality show celebrating large Singapore families.

3. Government needs to be more sincere about helping people with lots of children. it’s a lot of money trying to bring up kids, from childcare to maids. People put off having children when they don’t feel confident about their supporting structure. I know many friends who don’t have more kids because they don’t have extended families to help them with childcare and they rely on maids to help. Nowadays there’s higher barriers to getting maids. Support families by offering them first priority in having maids, much higher subsidies for maid levy, painless school registration, etc. The baby bonus they give out pale in comparison to the flat grant they give to first-timers. They can give an outright $40k for housing grant but they give out baby bonus in piecemeal sums. Please. There’s got to be more sincerity than that. If babies are that important, show me some sincerity when dishing out the bonuses.

[SilentHermit]

Dear Beanbear,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, keep it coming if you have more. Being a mother of 4, your experiences are definitely valuable.
I have a dotta, wanted another kid and we ended up having twins. Into 6 months’ pregnancy, elder twin decided to come out and he broke the water bag and both boys ended up in ICU for 3 months.
Now they are 3 yrs +, looking at them now, I know everything that I have gone through is worth it.
I am just trying to figure out how life will be liked when the three of them gets to their 20s, 30s or even 40s. I do not want them to live in a Singapore will majority foreigners and minority Singapore. I also hope that by then, the economy will be sustainable and one clear factor is that we must have enough manpower. So, I am hoping that I can make that little difference to their generation, if possible.
Thank you so much for sharing!

SH

[Strparent]

let's hope this family's hospital bill issue can be solved :sad: :moneyflies: :moneyflies:


imho, the hospital should use their discretion on a special case basis. I know the listed charges are true and there, but discretion here is seriously required.

180k for delivery ( albeit complications ) ?? :siao: :siao:
just thinking of that remote possibility also scared :yikes:

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dunno happy or worried ?

[3Boys]

Nothing to do with the hospital. We should pay for it…with taxpayers money.


They knew it was a multiple pregnancy with high risk for complications, why did they not go to a g’ment hospital?