Is GEP really necessary?

[Mychildren]

Yes, gifted or not is not so important. Able to find happiness is more important. $$, authority & fame may not give you true happiness though they're useful when one needs them.


Imami,
I don't find you :siao: .
When one is in the working society, blending in is very important.

[Zeng]

Imami:

Chenonceau:

Eeeeeeps! Your experience sounds so traumatic. I am glad God did not see fit to test me with a gifted child, let alone 4. God's gifts can be hard to live up to. I have learnt early in my life that being able to blend in is a joy. I don't wish my kids to be different. To be different is to go through pain that is often hard to bear.


I want my kids in mainstream so they can learn to be like the majority. Happiness is more important than being special and thus, different and misunderstood.

Nobody ever understands when I try to explain the part in brown,, that this is what I hope in my child. Most would go :yikes: , some would give me the outright :siao:

I stopped saying that for a while now... Since no one understand. And I began to have some doubts to my mentality - is there anything wrong with me to prefer having a child who can blend in with the majority?

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

You are not alone, the silent majority are with you on this. For those whose kids are very extraordinarily ordinary, do count this as a blessing rather than a very extraordinarily extraordinary kid who comes to you one day and say \"Mum, I like Life but Life doesn't like me.\"

[Chenonceau]

Imami:

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

I am not sure that one is more IMPORTANT than the other. I don't want to judge those who seek the extraordinary destiny for their children, especially if they do have extraordinary children. It then becomes that parent's duty to help their kids towards that extraordinary destiny. We don't always get to choose.

To be extraordinary means to have a life changing impact on countless others. Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Coco Chanel, Elvis Presley, Margaret Thatcher, Lee Kuan Yew, Marilyn Monroe... I have noticed that these people did pay a certain personal price for their greatness.

Coco Chanel was incredibly lonely. Elvis Presley died a mess and early. Margaret Thatcher sacrificed much for her greatness. Aung San Suu Kyi is a legend in the making. She paid for it with great personal pain. The basic human need is to feel an emotional connection with those around the self. People who are different don't often have that luxury because greatness cannot be understood enough to have hearts meet. Others may adore, revere, respect... But it is not the same as friendship. But then again, extraordinary people don't get to choose. If God sees fit to gift you with greatness in the way he gifted Paul, then suffering comes with the gift. And God knows how much Paul suffered.

If greatness comes at no price, then everyone would want to BE great. As it is, our little GEPpers do suffer already societal prejudice and ostracism to some extent and they aren't any near GREAT and some will never be. There is always a price to pay. If one CAN and does not fear that price, then fine.

I fear it.

[Imami]

Mychildren:

Yes, gifted or not is not so important. Able to find happiness is more important. $$, authority & fame may not give you true happiness though they're useful when one needs them.


Imami,
I don't find you :siao: .
When one is in the working society, blending in is very important.

Thank you. It is very comforting.

[Imami]

Zeng:

Imami:

[quote=\"Chenonceau\"]Eeeeeeps! Your experience sounds so traumatic. I am glad God did not see fit to test me with a gifted child, let alone 4. God's gifts can be hard to live up to. I have learnt early in my life that being able to blend in is a joy. I don't wish my kids to be different. To be different is to go through pain that is often hard to bear.

I want my kids in mainstream so they can learn to be like the majority. Happiness is more important than being special and thus, different and misunderstood.

Nobody ever understands when I try to explain the part in brown,, that this is what I hope in my child. Most would go :yikes: , some would give me the outright :siao:
I stopped saying that for a while now... Since no one understand. And I began to have some doubts to my mentality - is there anything wrong with me to prefer having a child who can blend in with the majority?

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

You are not alone, the silent majority are with you on this. For those whose kids are very extraordinarily ordinary, do count this as a blessing rather than a very extraordinarily extraordinary kid who comes to you one day and say \"Mum, I like Life but Life doesn't like me.\"[/quote]Thank you. But I haven't met much of the silent majority, so this is comforting.

[Imami]

Chenonceau:

Imami:

Thank you Chen, because of what you said, I am more sure than before that being able to blend in is more important.

I am not sure that one is more IMPORTANT than the other. I don't want to judge those who seek the extraordinary destiny for their children, especially if they do have extraordinary children. It then becomes that parent's duty to help their kids towards that extraordinary destiny. We don't always get to choose.

To be extraordinary means to have a life changing impact on countless others. Einstein, Leonardo da Vinci, Coco Chanel, Elvis Presley, Margaret Thatcher, Lee Kuan Yew, Marilyn Monroe... I have noticed that these people did pay a certain personal price for their greatness.

Coco Chanel was incredibly lonely. Elvis Presley died a mess and early. Margaret Thatcher sacrificed much for her greatness. Aung San Suu Kyi is a legend in the making. She paid for it with great personal pain. The basic human need is to feel an emotional connection with those around the self. People who are different don't often have that luxury because greatness cannot be understood enough to have hearts meet. Others may adore, revere, respect... But it is not the same as friendship. But then again, extraordinary people don't get to choose. If God sees fit to gift you with greatness in the way he gifted Paul, then suffering comes with the gift. And God knows how much Paul suffered.

If greatness comes at no price, then everyone would want to BE great. As it is, our little GEPpers do suffer already societal prejudice and ostracism to some extent and they aren't any near GREAT and some will never be. There is always a price to pay. If one CAN and does not fear that price, then fine.

I fear it.

I see a difference between being able to blend in with the Majority and being ordinary. No, If i can have a say, i do not want my child to be ordinary. Being such a mediocre all my life, I do not wish that on my child if he is capable of more. One can be different/better yet being able to blend in.

[verykiasu2010]

vlim:

Hi 2ppamm,

I think I get your pt ... But I think for parents who are not so resourceful and $$$$... They have no choice but to 'play' the game ... As we wouldn't want chances or money to drop from the shy ... Neither do I want to let my kid to go to a much lousier school if I think tt he deserve or good enough to be in a better one ....
Anyway tt is just my opinion, all of us hope to 忘子成龙...but we parents can only help Our kids within our own capability ... Sad huh ..unfair huh ..

i think some of us really 忘子成龙 instead of 望子成龙 :evil: :evil: :rotflmao:

[Chenonceau]

Imami:

I see a difference between being able to blend in with the Majority and being ordinary. No, If i can have a say, i do not want my child to be ordinary. Being such a mediocre all my life, I do not wish that on my child if he is capable of more. One can be different/better yet being able to blend in.

Extraordinary people stand out, no? They don't blend in? If you draw extraordinarily well, people notice you. You will still be lonely in that only you can engage with your art at the level you do. Others cannot understand. When you can see things and do things others cannot, you are different. Not ordinary.

When I started Potato Chinese(TM), I was flamed by those who did not understand the human psychology. I met resistance from my own family. It was lonely. Not until we obtained results were friends and family open to my psychological explanations of why and how it works. Potato Chinese(TM) isn't anything great but it does mean I am different... And it made Little Boy a little less ordinary. But it did mean social rejection for me, for a while. And really, that is peanuts compared to what truly extraordinary people have to bear.

Being extraordinary means you can't blend in. The 2 go together, no? What you want is high ability. Those can still blend in. Gee... Am I even making sense? Sorry... Sleepy... Not very coherent! Heh!

[2ppaamm]

ksi:

Dear 2ppaamm,


Appreciate and like your sharing of your children's less travelled path for Singapore kids to be inspired....but...

If your GEP son is still in GEP today, will you campaign so hard against GEP? :? Just wondering....

Firstly, I am not championing against GEP, I am saying it is time to revamp and do something about the system, and I have given reasons why it does not work. Giftedness can be handled in a more equitable and sensible way, with the gifted kid's needs met.

Secondly, my kids do not fit into the current GEP, though I used to think that's the only place suitable, since they don't fit into mainstream, but now, I have grown to understand they don't fit into school in general. So, my kids are really not in the discussion here, especially since all of them are out of the school system, by choice.

Let me explain why GEP would have been very wrong for my children, since I have a taste of it. My older kids were not in GEP because some preferred not to do the test. And, the smartest among the older ones took the test and did not make it. So, I thought GEPpers were some kind of genius. I had opportunities to conduct classes for GEPpers the same age or older than my son, so I prepared my work at high level, and taught them. To my horror, I couldn't find ONE who could think fast and understand me like my children or children in my extended family. Then, I realized, maybe GEP is not so bright afterall. That was back in 2005. After that, none of my kids opted to do GEP selection tests, until the #4. He was persuaded by the school to take, and he went into GEP.

GEP is a shock to me, the experience with them was enlightening! Suffice to say I am shocked that educators should have the kind of mentality they unabashedly displayed - the nonchalance to individual needs, and their need to prove they are right and superior versus their need to nurture the young. I am so glad to have found alternatives.

GEP would have been very wrong for ALL my children simply because they did not fit into MOE's definition of giftedness, they way they think, and they way they are brought up.

I don't care whether my kids are gifted or not. Many find it hard to believe, but I still have a problem believing they are gifted, simply because I understand giftedness has nothing to do with achievement. My kids have achieved the extraordinary, but I'd like to tell them they are ordinary people doing extraordinary things. If my kids were in the GEP system, they would not have achieved the ordinary things they have. Why.

Firstly, GEP robs me of a chance to plan a suitable education path for my children, because they think they know better. Maybe they are experts, but I know my kid. They will tell me to do this, do that, and being me, I always research and find better alternatives. So, if my kids were in GEP, they will be like the rest, fighting for PSLE scores, have mummy do their projects since their teachers will want to match up with the other 8 schools' expectations, etc. But because I no longer am hampered by all these, my kids get to do what I think is important: to maximize their potential and pursue their dreams.

Secondly, GEP robs me of time. Though none has ever gone to tuition, there is a ton of homework to do, a lot of projects I found meaningless, not because of the content, but the expectation of the teachers. They expect kids to put up professional work which then require adult supervision. I believe they should just submit their own work for marking, instead of having the teacher mark and re-mark and then submit to MOE and the 9 schools compare. Whose work is being marked? Teachers', parents' or kids'? Also, my kid won't do the homework, because it is repetitive. My kids have 'character' :frustrated: or whatever you call that. Once they have learned something, they expect to be fed new information or moved to the next level. There is no way they will do that thing again another 20 times. While I understand high ability kids will, my kids won't and most of my time was spent asking them to comply and do those, knowing they have already mastered the topics. There was a lot of fighting, which, when I think of it now, simply painful and senseless if we really think about it. Now, I spend time doing other things with them, including flying a beautiful kite yesterday for the whole evening.

I think that's about it. GEP hampers us, but my son loved the friends. I am thankful for those years there because of those great friends he made, but you know, that doesn't mean the system is perfect. Plus, the branding of GEP is not necessarily good, as I can hear some kids talking and thinking like they are better than their peers. These are not good for my kids. My belief is the same - they are ordinary and I want them to blend in. Life is fair and the earth is a globe: what goes around comes back around, if we rob some kids of their opportunities, (like an undeserved DSA or EEIS), my belief is that it will come back to us. So, I am careful with that, and don't want to have to pay the price.

There. Why it won't work for us, but that doesn't mean it won't work for others. Some will like the system, or psyched themselves to like the system because of the perks they can receive. To each his own, and there's no right or wrong. These are just different opinions.

[2ppaamm]

Chenonceau:

Imami:

I see a difference between being able to blend in with the Majority and being ordinary. No, If i can have a say, i do not want my child to be ordinary. Being such a mediocre all my life, I do not wish that on my child if he is capable of more. One can be different/better yet being able to blend in.

Extraordinary people stand out, no? They don't blend in? If you draw extraordinarily well, people notice you. You will still be lonely in that only you can engage with your art at the level you do. Others cannot understand. When you can see things and do things others cannot, you are different. Not ordinary.

When I started Potato Chinese(TM), I was flamed by those who did not understand the human psychology. I met resistance from my own family. It was lonely. Not until we obtained results were friends and family open to my psychological explanations of why and how it works. Potato Chinese(TM) isn't anything great but it does mean I am different... And it made Little Boy a little less ordinary. But it did mean social rejection for me, for a while. And really, that is peanuts compared to what truly extraordinary people have to bear.

Being extraordinary means you can't blend in. The 2 go together, no? What you want is high ability. Those can still blend in. Gee... Am I even making sense? Sorry... Sleepy... Not very coherent! Heh!

Of course yes! IMO, nobody wants to be extraordinary, simply because of the price we have to pay. That is why, I often tell my children that they are ordinary people doing extraordinary things. And I agree that all we want is for our kids to be normal and blend in.

Having said that, you can now understand how difficult it is to be ordinary. It is a struggle for me on a daily basis. I send the kids to school, they won't blend in, I send them to universities, they thrive! So, we send them to universities at a young age.

It puzzles me why people want their kids to be known to be smart or gifted, because it is such a tall order. There are so many expectations, so many assumptions and so many misunderstandings. When you look at people who brought us innovations and pushed the boundaries, it is about them being just themselves and doing something way within their reach. An example is Terry Tao. His colleague told of how he solved a problem within a day or two that would have taken himself a few years. His invention is now used in our digital cameras. It required no effort to solve complex questions for him.

Sometimes, I wished my kids were simpler, I told my DS1 he thinks too much. I wished he would simplify things rather than thinking so much! I see how he deliberately dumb down so he could fit in, and avoid using his 'prowess' unless pushed to the corner. He does all these just to blend in and survive. My #4 had such a hard time fitting into schools - any school. But in the university, he thrived. He topped his Ivy League class last semester with a 96/100, though he is at least 8 years younger than the next youngest. That was not what we set out to do. We put him there because we do not know where else to put him, tried every kind of school we can think of. Funny enough, while he (still) struggles in primary school, he thrives in the university.

People who do extraordinary things might not necessarily thought they were going to. They were simply doing what they love and challenged themselves beyond what they are able, and no amount of branding or MOE telling us our kids are gifted can change that. Some of us are given more, and to those who are given more, more is expected. We cannot live well, until we are able to be who we are. I often pray that my kids will enjoy their gifts to the fullest, as much as I pray that they use whatever gifted them to bring mankind to the next level in their small ways. Big or small, it does not matter, all we want is for them is to be happy, ordinary and normal. Just like every parent.

This video shows us how these folks were misfits, and you can call them any names. None started out well and often misunderstood. But in the end, they chose to listen to themselves and be themselves, and then they achieved beyond what any human ever dreamed of. The price to pay for being different is high, and I pray that my kids will never have to pay that price: to have happiness and enjoy life ranks above all else.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jULUGHJCCj4][/youtube]