Is GEP really necessary?
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Nebbermind:
Understand. :salute:
U only feel him cant survive coz u placed a time limit on him. Our system is unforgiving to late developers but we need not be that way.Mychildren:
Maybe asking why I'm still awake. My 2nd DS still busy folding different kinds of aeroplanes. He's not as good as his eldest brother in studies because he cannot sit long to do his schoolwork. He cannot be drill but when comes to playthings, he can work for long hours......
Think this boy I need to think of alternative routes for him. Don't think he can survive under the Singapore educational system.... :sick:
Got to leave it to God at this moment. Gotta sleep :snooze: -
2ppaamm:
In Singapore context, the govt has yet to realize the value of a SAHM. Far too many kids are left with the care of maid. I see this as greatest tragic for the kids. The current situation of enticing more mothers back to workforce, while at the same time without enough supporting system has caused a great stress to families.
We have downplayed the role of SAHM in the name of advancement, I think to a sad outcome. Many women equate their worth to the pay check, but you know, pay check comes in different forms. It can come in the form of a scholarship, kids who need less tuition (because mother is more educated), and kids who are out of trouble (because mum is always there for them, kids who will be successful in the working world with successful careers and husbands who have better increments because family is taken care of.
The country will not function as well without these educated and super smart moms who choose to stay at home and become role models. We need them more than ever! :grphug: :celebrate:
I am a SAHM. I often feel myself not a good mother to my five kids. I try hard, but my kids may not appreciate. There are times I am wondering whether they will be better off without me being so Kias :scratchhead: u?
There are schools to prepare a man to become doctors, lawyers or engineers, I wish there be schools to prepare us to be mothers, :idea: -
ruohoo97:
wow! another mother of 5! :salute: :salute:
In Singapore context, the govt has yet to realize the value of a SAHM. Far too many kids are left with the care of maid. I see this as greatest tragic for the kids. The current situation of enticing more mothers back to workforce, while at the same time without enough supporting system has caused a great stress to families.2ppaamm:
We have downplayed the role of SAHM in the name of advancement, I think to a sad outcome. Many women equate their worth to the pay check, but you know, pay check comes in different forms. It can come in the form of a scholarship, kids who need less tuition (because mother is more educated), and kids who are out of trouble (because mum is always there for them, kids who will be successful in the working world with successful careers and husbands who have better increments because family is taken care of.
The country will not function as well without these educated and super smart moms who choose to stay at home and become role models. We need them more than ever! :grphug: :celebrate:
I am a SAHM. I often feel myself not a good mother to my five kids. I try hard, but my kids may not appreciate. There are times I am wondering whether they will be better off without me being so Kias :scratchhead: u?
There are schools to prepare a man to become doctors, lawyers or engineers, I wish there be schools to prepare us to be mothers, :idea:
By the time you are done with your kids, you are ready to be the school for motherhood for your children. Personally, I feel that my mother was my best school for motherhood. This informal school is the best, consultation is free too...
Now maybe ksp.com is an alternative...kekeke
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ruohoo97:
Motherhood, stay-at-home or go to work, deserves more recognition than is available. Mothers live with a lot of guilt about not doing enough even when we are already doing loads. Dunno whether someone implanted some gene inside us to keep striving to do more and more for our children. Anyway, I notice more mothers suffering from guilt than fathers, at least among my group of friends.
In Singapore context, the govt has yet to realize the value of a SAHM. Far too many kids are left with the care of maid. I see this as greatest tragic for the kids. The current situation of enticing more mothers back to workforce, while at the same time without enough supporting system has caused a great stress to families.2ppaamm:
We have downplayed the role of SAHM in the name of advancement, I think to a sad outcome. Many women equate their worth to the pay check, but you know, pay check comes in different forms. It can come in the form of a scholarship, kids who need less tuition (because mother is more educated), and kids who are out of trouble (because mum is always there for them, kids who will be successful in the working world with successful careers and husbands who have better increments because family is taken care of.
The country will not function as well without these educated and super smart moms who choose to stay at home and become role models. We need them more than ever! :grphug: :celebrate:
I am a SAHM. I often feel myself not a good mother to my five kids. I try hard, but my kids may not appreciate. There are times I am wondering whether they will be better off without me being so Kias :scratchhead: u?
There are schools to prepare a man to become doctors, lawyers or engineers, I wish there be schools to prepare us to be mothers, :idea:
What's driving us to try so hard? I guess it's instinctive for us to want our kids to have as good or better a life than we have. No manual was given to us although it's probably the toughest or one of the toughest jobs in the world. So much to learn and most of the learning comes from making mistakes.
With 4 kids, I get to refine and adjust my parenting along the way based on the mistakes I made with older ones. Just the other day, my DS1 said to me \"So we were experiments to you, right?\" when I was sharing how I'm doing things differently for DS3. I responded, \"I didn't get any manual when I became a parent so I could only experiment!\" Parents are really scientists. We observe, we look for what are the critical variables, what results we are getting if we adjust one of the variables and then observe again....
As for rewards, ahhh, that's goes to the heart of our self-worth. It's always nice to hear words of affirmation from our kids. Without any external form of gratification, and rewards then what will be our source of gratification for this difficult work called parenthood?
Parenting geniuses, gifted kids or mainstream kids or kids with learning difficulties, - can there be a measurement for what is easier? In the same vein, can we really measure what is easier, teaching geniuses, gifted, mainstream or kids with learning difficulties? In the end what do all kids want from their parents? What do all kids want from those who teach them. My understanding of humanity so far is we all want ACCEPTANCE and unconditional LOVE. Kids, regardless of their intelligence or abilities, want acceptance from the significant adults in their lives, unconditional acceptance. Not the kind of acceptance that is dependent on what grades I get, or what school I go to.
Actually I find children accept parents unconditionally, more easily than we do our kids. At least that's my experience. They forgive me more readily when I say sorry and forgive me even when I don't say sorry. They get past my mistakes more readily. I've started to see that these things that they do to me is certainly rewarding and they've given me an education of what it means to be better human being.
Sorry if I've gone off topic. Something just prompted to write. Thanks for reading. -
The journeys throughout your motherhood experience prompted you to write. :hugs:
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Here's wat mine said abt that toughest job in the world..
http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=795984#p795984 -
Mychildren:
Sure will Do!ruohoo97,
Ok. I understand what you said. Will continue to pray for him and pray together with him.
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ksi:
Personally, I feel that my mother was my best school for motherhood. This informal school is the best, consultation is free too...
Now maybe ksp.com is an alternative...kekeke
You are right! That is why I come here so often....that my kids peeping and saying \"you? kiasuing again? But I have really learnt a lOT! Thanks! -
beanbear:
Motherhood, stay-at-home or go to work, deserves more recognition than is available. Mothers live with a lot of guilt about not doing enough even when we are already doing loads. Dunno whether someone implanted some gene inside us to keep striving to do more and more for our children. Anyway, I notice more mothers suffering from guilt than fathers, at least among my group of friends.
That is true. My DH is really relax when come to children's education. He often says we are not live our life through our children.
What's driving us to try so hard? I guess it's instinctive for us to want our kids to have as good or better a life than we have. No manual was given to us although it's probably the toughest or one of the toughest jobs in the world. So much to learn and most of the learning comes from making mistakes.
With 4 kids, I get to refine and adjust my parenting along the way based on the mistakes I made with older ones. Just the other day, my DS1 said to me \"So we were experiments to you, right?\" when I was sharing how I'm doing things differently for DS3. I responded, \"I didn't get any manual when I became a parent so I could only experiment!\" Parents are really scientists. We observe, we look for what are the critical variables, what results we are getting if we adjust one of the variables and then observe again....
As for rewards, ahhh, that's goes to the heart of our self-worth. It's always nice to hear words of affirmation from our kids. Without any external form of gratification, and rewards then what will be our source of gratification for this difficult work called parenthood?
Rewards? I dare not to dream. Just hope that one day my kids will realize that they will be the same to their own children.ε―ζ倩δΈηΆζ―εΏ
Parenting geniuses, gifted kids or mainstream kids or kids with learning difficulties, - can there be a measurement for what is easier? In the same vein, can we really measure what is easier, teaching geniuses, gifted, mainstream or kids with learning difficulties? In the end what do all kids want from their parents? What do all kids want from those who teach them. My understanding of humanity so far is we all want ACCEPTANCE and unconditional LOVE. Kids, regardless of their intelligence or abilities, want acceptance from the significant adults in their lives, unconditional acceptance. Not the kind of acceptance that is dependent on what grades I get, or what school I go to.
Well said, thanks for reminding!
Actually I find children accept parents unconditionally, more easily than we do our kids. At least that's my experience. They forgive me more readily when I say sorry and forgive me even when I don't say sorry. They get past my mistakes more readily. I've started to see that these things that they do to me is certainly rewarding and they've given me an education of what it means to be better human being.
Sorry if I've gone off topic. Something just prompted to write. Thanks for reading. -
Beanbear Wrote:
Quote
Parenting geniuses, gifted kids or mainstream kids or kids with learning difficulties, - can there be a measurement for what is easier? In the same vein, can we really measure what is easier, teaching geniuses, gifted, mainstream or kids with learning difficulties? In the end what do all kids want from their parents? What do all kids want from those who teach them. My understanding of humanity so far is we all want ACCEPTANCE and unconditional LOVE. Kids, regardless of their intelligence or abilities, want acceptance from the significant adults in their lives, unconditional acceptance. Not the kind of acceptance that is dependent on what grades I get, or what school I go to. Unquote
Well said.
Have to add that parents from poorer social backgrounds having kids with learning difficulties have the greatest challenge. Worse still, kids with learning difficulties having zero support from parents due to circumstances beyond their control face the kind of trauma that many of us may not even think of. There are kids who absent themsleves from sch so as to look after their even younger sibs bec parents are not home or parents who are either struggling to meet ends meet or due to dysfunctional families.
Generally kids of KSP parents (who come to KSP threads) are already a privileged lot regardless of their problems or kiasuness of their parents.
How many parents of the 50 000 kids every year have the resources/finances to send their kids to the top enrichment classess, all the right, left brain training, all the motivational courses, all the expensive GEP training and hobbies etc, let alone having the time to do volunteering work or finances to be renting properties near desired schs. If we take a step backwards and view things in a wider context, then we will realise that some of our parenting worries may just be unnecessary perceived obstacles that we have created for ourselves.
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