Is GEP really necessary?

[buds]

2ppaamm:

ruohoo97:

[quote=\"Sun_2010\"]
The fact that cream does not dissolve in water....

The cream comes from milk lah!

So the cows have not come home, we got no milk, so where to get cream?[/quote]I got milk! :idea:

Hope got enuff cream for DD2 tomorrow. :rotflmao:

[verykiasu2010]

ruohoo97:

Sun_2010:

The fact that cream does not dissolve in water....

The cream comes from milk lah!

so the cows come home already or not ?

[verykiasu2010]

comfy:

Seriously kS parents, from what I have been reading, I hope that some of your 'negative' remarks regarding gep kids are not passed down to your kids. Sincerely hope that all kids from mainstream or GEP can get along without any prejudice from their parents. Cheer!

:goodpost:

[vlim]

verykiasu2010:

ruohoo97:

[quote=\"Sun_2010\"]
The fact that cream does not dissolve in water....

The cream comes from milk lah!

so the cows come home already or not ?[/quote]They ran away Liao knowing tt u want to take their milk ... :rotflmao:

[Flowermonaster]

buds:

2ppaamm:

So the cows have not come home, we got no milk, so where to get cream?

I got milk! :idea:

Hope got enuff cream for DD2 tomorrow. :rotflmao:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[2ppaamm]

comfy:

Seriously kS parents, from what I have been reading, I hope that some of your 'negative' remarks regarding gep kids are not passed down to your kids. Sincerely hope that all kids from mainstream or GEP can get along without any prejudice from their parents. Cheer!

Actually, the last people you have to worry about are the KSP parents! We talk talk only, how do we all have any action?

We cannot expect other people to change or be kind to us. The only people we can change is ourselves. Here's what I do to ensure my children survive, whether they are identified or labeled gifted or not.

1. Have a set of expectation and live up to that. Set goals with the kids, the highest they can achieve. If your kid is a high ability or gifted child, the kid can achieve much more than an average. Then let those be the goals, and keep your eyes on those goals. For example, my daughter reminded me that DS2 will probably top a particular exam and break a world record. He is still making a few mistakes in the mock test, though. She reminded me not to just let him score enough, and make sure he works a little harder (he only works 1.5 hours a day on it now) and achieve that goal. She said it will be a waste not to go for it. So, yes, everybody has different potential, recognize the kids' own and go for the highest ACHIEVABLE. Not highest in the country or what the teachers want you, or higher than a relative or friend.

2. Work on the EQ department. I remember that when my older kids were young, we have parents who will be very unkind with their words to my children whenever they perform better vis-a-vis their kids. The kids are normally not the ones bearing grudges, the parents are. So, I made it a point to teach my children to always greet these parents, be EXTRA respectful and polite. Do favours for and make small talks with these parents with extra effort. By and by, they cannot fault my children anymore and stopped being unkind with their remarks. It is hard with one of my children who has absolutely no EQ, don't know whether born that way or just oblivious. So I make an extra effort to work on his skills, and it is so difficult, because he keeps getting into trouble. I am fortunate because we are now in a Western environment which is so much more accepting than in Singapore. They say it takes a whole village to raise a child and it is true. The forgiving society has taught my son to forgive, the kindness in his friends (though he being used as a human calculator), the sweetness and generosity of the teachers, and the personable attitude of the principals taught my son much. Singapore spent too much time on IQ and school, leaving out what I feel raises the quality of the workforce. We are impatient on the roads, rude over the counter and cynical in other people's successes. We spend so much time on tuition, but no time teaching our children lifeskills. For me, I spend a lot more time on lifeskills and EQ. teaching even how to use a low voice to talk rather than a high, squeaky voice, how to build emotional banks, the 7 habits etc. When they finally go out to work, how much IQ they have makes so little difference, it is the ability to handle people and situation that puts a person in an advantageous position. Yes, even in academia.

3. Don't be affected about people who insist on comparing or being unfair but reach out to their hearts by being sincerely nice to them. And there are cases like these I can name all the time. Even for myself, where my academic awards were given to the second placed child twice in my secondary school by the teacher. But so what? Life is not fair from the start. So be it. Don't let them achieve their goals of having you react. I always tell my children to work hard and be so far ahead, there's no way others can mark you down, or try to compare with you. I always say, 让他们望尘莫及，and that is always the best revenge. Be so far ahead, no one whats to compare anymore and concede defeat themselves, no need to fight. 这一招 never fails.

4. Work very hard. Very, very hard. I always tell the kids that they are ordinary, but does not mean they cannot achieve extraordinary things. I ask them to always remember people around them are much more capable, so if they put in 1 hour, we must aim to put in 1.5 hours in order to match up to them. Hence, if and only if we happen to be a bit smarter, we will achieve more. Works everytime, and nobody dares take away your hard earned achievement.

5. Refuse to be dragged down to compete at their levels. Already said set our own goals. Next is, refuse to compete. Why compete at whatever people tell us to? We set our own targets in life. If your target is to pass a subject, others scoring 90+ shouldn't affect you. If yours is to go to an Ivy League, then go for it. If yours is to stay in Singapore and go to NUS, go for it, too! Nobody should tell you one is better or the other. As long as there is breath, nobody knows who will have the last laugh, the verdict is still out. What meets the eye is far from the reality until we are at our death beds.

6. Be humble, happy and contented. Whatever given to us, be contented. Don't crave for what others have. Having more may not necessarily be a blessing. Already said, to him more is given, more is expected. If we happened to be gifted more, do more to the society, and give back more, and expect people to be jealous or misunderstand, there's no need to get upset. I take that as a complement when people are jealous, and I have other friends, these folks don't change my lives. Remember it is not our fault, and sooner or later, they will be won over if I am humble enough. If we gifted less, thank God for that still. Then, less is expected. Personally, I'd rather give back more. Humility is something that must be taught to all children, because that's how people judge your character at the end of the day. Fancy they teach the kids in GEP to handle their gifts, but they don't seem to teach them humility, or how to be humble. Humility has to be taught, either by us, or by the society in a much more cruel way.

7. Be an imposter, and this is a common syndrome among gifted. Just let people win some argument, let people have a final say, pretend to be ignorant, stupid or don't know, leave some money on the table, let others win. We don't need to win every battle, we don't even need to fight every one. At the end of the day, it is no fun winning if everyone becomes an enemy, or there's no more people to work with. We are here on earth look for the commonality, not the differences.

And that is also what I think is important here. GEP or not does not matter, the difference does not matter, but the common goal of raising our children well, which for all parents is the same, is what really matters. In summary, I teach my children not to expect and demand preferential treatment, but to earn respect, love and people to 服 them。If you have more ideas, add on to them. I'm sure there are many parents out there who have more wisdom, and I'd love to learn.

[3Boys]

Actually,

I only have one cardinal rule for my kids.

1) Be Happy

If I set too many dimensions they start to contradict each other.

[2ppaamm]

3Boys:

Actually,

I only have one cardinal rule for my kids.

1) Be Happy

If I set too many dimensions they start to contradict each other.

That too. But it is hard to be happy unless we learn contentment. It is hard to learn contentment unless we understand ourselves and those around us. Some people pick up those skills by observation, others have to be taught. Unfortunately, not all my kids are able to pick these up by observation, some can, some cannot, so that's where I chip in and model for or teach them. Not all of us are born the same, and thank God for that, and thank God we are all equal.

Hahaha.... and fathers are different from mothers. Mothers worry a lot more. Must learn to be less anxious.

[cherryc]

Thanks 2ppaamm for sharing. I believe in 取之于社会，用之于社会 and our own version of No Child Left Behind.


In addition, hsk just said "the education policy of today cannot be divorced from the hopes and dreams for the future of Singapore and he is looking forward to active and candid contributions from Singaporeans to this national conversation ".

[Mychildren]

Hi, good morning to all!

Good & nice to hear that all of you are so positive!
:snuggles: :grphug: :hugs:

My way of parenting is to learn to respect my kids as an individual not a kid & be patient to listen to them.

The Goals that they want to reach are to be compete within themselves, not with others.

Learn to give thanks to God for everything they've and for the things they don't too.

Encourage them to share & help those who are in need.

:lovesite: