HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES

[Chenonceau]

Hi Debbie… have you read the whole book yet? If you have, you should be able to answer the following questions…


(1) What should you have done before either you or your husband caned your child? Hint: refer to chapter on punishment?
(2) What did the book say about how you should respond if your child rejects your the choices you gave him ?

I probably will help you here with leading questions only. I won’t give customised answers. This will ensure that you ask questions only after you’ve properly read the book… thought some things through for yourself.

[debbiehsl]

Not yet. But before I come to that, I already encounter it. : (

Will do. I will read it up on that chapter. Thanks. : )

Chenonceau:

Hi Debbie... have you read the whole book yet? If you have, you should be able to answer the following questions...

(1) What should you have done before either you or your husband caned your child? Hint: refer to chapter on punishment?
(2) What did the book say about how you should respond if your child rejects your the choices you gave him ?

I probably will help you here with leading questions only. I won't give customised answers. This way you can learn to link the strategies to your own situation above.

[Chenonceau]

debbiehsl:

Not yet. But before I come to that, I already encounter it. : (

Will do. I will read it up on that chapter. Thanks. : )

Chenonceau:

Hi Debbie... have you read the whole book yet? If you have, you should be able to answer the following questions...

(1) What should you have done before either you or your husband caned your child? Hint: refer to chapter on punishment?
(2) What did the book say about how you should respond if your child rejects your the choices you gave him ?

I probably will help you here with leading questions only. I won't give customised answers. This way you can learn to link the strategies to your own situation above.

Not just that chapter, read the WHOLE book. Please please do that. It will be more considerate of my time. If you ask every single question that comes to mind without trying to help yourself from the book, you will use up a lot of my time here unnecessarily since I will have to repeat the basics from the book here. I took one look at your sharing above and I could tell you had not read the book.

I hope you understand. Be nice to me. Please read the WHOLE book before you ask.

[snowball]

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

[Jimmyhth]

My girl, Jamie, used to dislike studying very much. She would complain that she had tummy ache, headache and not feeling too well just to avoid going to school. Initially, I didn’t put much thought into this but her condition worsened and she was going to the doctor more often. Upon my sister’s suggestion, I enrolled my kids into Mindchamps (my son too, as I wanted to be fair to both of them) as she told me this will help instill confidence and have a positive attitude towards learning.


Jamie enjoyed the program very much and she was always counting down every Friday, looking forward to go to Mindchamps in on Sundays! She has gained confidence and became very positive after her 5th lesson. She started to enjoy school. I was very surprised to see a big shift in her mind set.

[Chenonceau]

snowball:

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

Hi hi... Snowball... I missed this post. Hmmmmm... how come the email didn't give me an alert? Delivery is within 10 days of payment.

[Chenonceau]

This post is an answer to a comment here - http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=850074#p850074


Hi hi Beanbear...

dangerous to have favourite strategies... leads to strategy over use and possibly strategy ineffectiveness. But I am really pleased that you can handle SC well enough to get good results. This is one of the easiest strategies to understand but hardest to implement because
(1) sensitivity to choice calibration (constrained to free)
(2) choice difficulty (need to be customized)

Try to match strategy to situation rather than prize any one strategy particularly. You could hurt yourself and your child in unforeseen ways.

[Champion]

I am into reading the 2nd round of the Internal Drive Theory Book I am a slow (really slow absorber) so there will be the chance that I will read it the 3rd, 4th or 5th time before I can understand and apply the motivational strategies


But, this book comes at the right timing - the very key point or rather statement that I highlighted and mark it with the post-it flag - page 19, it says, \" ....make sure we ignite their internal drive for school early, by end of Primary 4 [p.s. P4 DD1 saw that I was reading this book and came over to \"kapoh\" and when she saw what I have highlighted, she said,\" Oh, that's talking about me, right?\" ]

:salute: :salute: Dr. Petunia Lee - this is very \"down-to-earth\" motivational book that I came across this year. Can't give much comments yet but definitely one that I carry with me when I have the spare time to read (remember - i am a slow reader )

[beanbear]

Chenonceau:

This post is an answer to a comment here - http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=850074#p850074


Hi hi Beanbear...

dangerous to have favourite strategies... leads to strategy over use and possibly strategy ineffectiveness. But I am really pleased that you can handle SC well enough to get good results. This is one of the easiest strategies to understand but hardest to implement because
(1) sensitivity to choice calibration (constrained to free)
(2) choice difficulty (need to be customized)

Try to match strategy to situation rather than prize any one strategy particularly. You could hurt yourself and your child in unforeseen ways.

Thanks for the advice. I get that what you've written is intended for a holistic approach to our children and certainly overusing a strategy can lead to unintended consequences especially if our intentions are not clear. I read the whole book but being an experiential person, I find that I must contextualize what I read to my real-life experiences so I tend to take a experimental approach in order to understand a concept. I hope to re-read the book again during the school holidays. But certainly your book has given me a language and grounded in psychological principles for what I've been experimenting in the past just with intuitive feel.

:thankyou:

[snowball]

snowball:

Hi Petunial, i have ordered a copy of your book yesterday...wondering when i will receive the book

Dear Petunial, I have received your book on Friday! Is really fast! :hugs: I am in chapter 6 now, although I dont understand chapter 5 pg 69 \"Quadrant\" i like the statement \" focus on study process, not grades\" .

I am looking forward to learn more on {HOW TO MOTIVATE MY GIRL TO PUT IN MORE EFFORT IN HER STUDIES} through the next chapters.

Oh yah, pg10 , figure on \"levels of internal drive\" is very meaningful TOO :goodpost:

:thankyou: