All About Full-Time Maids

[kiasimom]

Hi Andaiz,


When will you collect your new maid?
Is she a Filipina too?

[madinked]

Yah no way we are going to lend her the money. I’m just trying to buy time. To call her bluff.


Even if change maid, I want one in, one out, so less trouble.

[kiasimom]

Hi madinked,


You should start your maid hunting soon then.

[MMM]

autumnbronze:

Hi MMM,


I agree with the above posts.

We did that when we went for a cruise for 4 days or so last year.
So please, can you try to find an alternative, like putting her up in your parents'/relatives' place??

Thanks all for your response. Wow the maid forum is really hot as I try to search back this thread... that probably shows the list of issues we have with our maids.

Unfortunately it's not possible to put my maid with someone else as most of my other sils are also on holidays during the same period. On top of that, my fil feel more at ease if there is someone at home to look after the house. There is a joke behind this. We moved from a condo to a landed and since then my fil always felt \"insecure\" about leaving the house empty. Fil will think twice about going on holiday if there's no one else at home. I told hubby that probably we should buy a house next to a MP so that we get \"free\" guard service as well. Just a joke ok... there is a house near Mr President up for sale. :lol:

Anyway, we did that with her last year december and she appeared ok as in nothing wierd happen. BUT... yesterday she came to ask me if she can go out when we are on hols but after my pils are back. She also asked for her HP as she wants to try to sell it away. After much thoughts, I think I will ask her to go out only when we are back as the last thing I want is for her to use her hp to call people to come to our place???? :shock:

[kiasimom]

Hi MMM,


Do you have a house phone?
She can still call from the house phone.

Are you on good terms with your neighbours?
Can ask your neighbour to keep an eye.

Last resort, install CCTV.

[autumnbronze]

Andaiz:

skunk:

I think it's very dangerous to have someone who's unwilling, to work for u.

very much so, and as the helpers are at home most of the time, they are an undue (and unwanted) influence to the kids.

madinked, skunk may be a bit extreme but he's right that as long as they are not willing to work for you, it'd be an uphill task to CHANGE their attitude.

Hi,


Agree with Skunk and Andaiz,

Once they've made up their minds on leaving/unwilling to work, no point cajoling them. Even increasing their pay won't make a difference. This was my first experience with my first maid. And believe me, I gave up on her, but my DH really tried all sorts of motivational tactics, but she just refused to budge :roll:


Incidentally, I had a heart to heart conversation abt maids last nite, sharing with him what I had learnt from this thread. I told him that if current maid does not want to renew, we cannot be so nice to the new maid cuz she may not be so good natured as this one. We need to start off with her on the rite foot. The reply I got was, \"you know I'm a pple's person rite, how can you expect me to be what I am not in my own home?? As it is, I already have to sacrifice NOT walking ard bare bodied, I won't change my character for any maid. If they can't appreciate nice employers, then its their loss, we'll get a new one.\"

Easier said than done .....

Or maybe I shd have picked a better time to speak abt it to him. Will try again when he is in a better mood and not so tired.

[autumnbronze]

kiasimom:

Call me heartless, I don't care.

I never give my maid off days as I don't know what they do outside and who they mix with.

They can tell you lies that you least expected.

I compensate by bringing her out myself and compensate her in monetary terms. I buy her off day.

For her birthday, I will buy her a birthday cake and sing birthday song for her.

DITTO :lol:

[autumnbronze]

madinked:

I also bring her go shopping, only I let her free-roam and meet her at a certain time.

Hi madinked,

Please don't take this wrongly, but I don't think thats a good idea.

We are nice to our maid. But we draw a line at certain things and going out on their own/roaming on their own is one. That is the number one cause of maids giving problems - just my humble opinion

[MMM]

autumnbronze:

[We need to start off with her on the rite foot. The reply I got was, \"you know I'm a pple's person rite, how can you expect me to be what I am not in my own home??

Is your hubby a HR person :lol:

In any case, it's very very important to lay the ground rules and from day 1. We usually do this with our maid. Our hubby (aka the bad guy) will tell her the ground rules eg. no handphone, no stealing, no lying, no ill treatment/ beating of kids, etc...\" These are basic stuff and if she is guilty of those, then too bad, we got to send her back. On our end, we will of course do our part by giving her sufficient rest, food, respect,etc.... I feel that it's like towards children, sometimes you need a good and bad guy. Hubby lets me play the \"good guy\" but of course I've my limit/ threshold. So maybe your hubby can be the \"people person\" while you are the \"task oriented\" role? FYI, my hubby would be the one who would check, lock her luggage and keep the keys, when my maid goes back on home leave. He would be the one to \"reprimand\" the maid if she does something wrong/ things that don't go through thinking process.

When my maid asked me about having hp to \"keep in touch\" with her family after she came back from home leave. She was on the edge of \"tearing\" (I think I am not the give in to tears type), to me it's like that's the ground rule we laid from day one and no way I am going to say yes to her. I told her outfront what I thought and yes, I am being proactive because I don't want to come back and deal with this as a problem few months down the road. I hate to do that and she would hate me to do that. So to prevent that, then it's still a no.

[madinked]

autumnbronze:

madinked:

I also bring her go shopping, only I let her free-roam and meet her at a certain time.

Hi madinked,

Please don't take this wrongly, but I don't think thats a good idea.

We are nice to our maid. But we draw a line at certain things and going out on their own/roaming on their own is one. That is the number one cause of maids giving problems - just my humble opinion

I don't find that different from giving the maids off days. They still go out.

(1) I don't think I'm being nice to my maid. On the other hand, I've known of many others who are so sweet to their maids. Just like at my estate, I see maids with handphones, idling, doing nothing, just chatting on the phone. I disallow that of my maid. I also know of people who allow their maids to watch tv with them, etc.

(2) For selfish reasons, I let her roam freely. First, I don't want to have to shop with her. Second, I don't want to bring her for expensive meals. And no, I can't leave her at home because I don't know what she will do to my 3 dogs.