Am I doing my ds a disservice?

[tutormum]

bitchymum:

This is so true .... I must keep reminding myself not to push dd too hard. Let her enjoy her childhood as our childhood is so short.


I have try to learn not to be stressed by other moms.

Good for you. :lovesite: This is what Kiasuparents forum is for. Many a times we look around us and just cos the majority is doing the same thing, we thought we must be part of it. Your child and mine are unique and let's us follow our hearts and theirs to do what is best for them and not the other 90% thinks it should be. :love: :grphug:

[BeautifulLife]

Morning,


Thanks for sharing.
I had always been cool about academic grades all this while…until I realised I am surrounded by mummies who are total opposite of me.
Unknowingly, I had been influenced by them, I guess.
The truth is, it does feel quite worrying when I hear my friends yak about how many tuition and how much assessment books thier kids do daily. Thus I begin to wonder am I cultivating wrong studying habits on my ds. My biggest enjoyment being a stay-at-home-mum, is to bring my 2 ds to the beach, zoo, playground during weekdays when we really bond as a family. I guess the time spent doing all this fun stuff explains why my 2 ds are very close as a family.

I don’t know is it due to him being in a SAP school, most of his classmates have numerous tuitions. The boy who got 1st in class, has 2 tuitions daily. I was wondering, he probably may get 3rd(at the worst, cos can see he is very intelligent) without alll his tuitions. So I started thinking, pushing these happy-go-lucky active kids so much just so that they can do extremely well, is it justifiable?

The joke is, I signed up my ds for arithmetic math this holiday in E&P despite me having said the above!wahaha. I really was getting very concerned with not doing anything for my ds. The teacher in this school feedback that ds is a very fast-learner and he actually have to "wait’ for his fellow classmates to grasp the concepts. A few times, the teachers dismissed him earlier from the class cos he has done well and had finished his work. That said, please don’t interpret it as my ds is very intelligent. Because I don’t think he is very intelligent, just that he is a fast-learner and is very focus when learning. He doesn’t know beyond what he is taught to know(in terms of academic), just that he picks up very fast whatever is thrown to him. His classmates has been exposed to fractions and P3 problem sums already. So as compared, ms ds is not as intelligent as them. In fact, quite behind. Haha.

This holiday class prompts me again. That’s why am confused because it seems like my ds do not really need extra classes. I can leave him to be taught by his school teachers. But that would mean, he will probably be only an average student in upper primary cos his classmates are mostly so well-advanced…

[James Ang]

BeautifulLife:

Hi,


My ds is in P1 in a SAP school. The teachers that had taught him feedback that he is very bright and \"easy to teach\". A few of them even told me frankly that I am not doing enough to push him to be at his best.

His P1 this year, was a bliss. Very little homework from school(cos he finished up in school), no need to learn spelling, ting xie or CAs(their school has CA papers almost every other 2 weeks!), but he manged to score full marks every time. He got 5th in class with a score of 97%. My friends had recently been telling me if I had do work with him at home and help prepare him for SAs. he would have got much better results. But I feel that since he is doing well enough and has always been a fast learner, then no need to stress him with more work. I don't need him to do very well and am happy for him that his learning journey is an enjoyable and easy one.

My question is, is there anyone out there who are like me? Or am I doing ds a disservice? Anyone has kids like mine and cos they slacken in doing work at home, they did poorly in upper primary?

Education is the best gift that parents can give to their children to help them to realise their full potential.

[csb]

Hi, ds has yet to start his formal education but I find myself agreeing with much of what the parents posted earlier. Actually, the posts shows that fellow KSparents are very NOT KS

[tamarind]

BeautifulLife:

My question is, is there anyone out there who are like me?

http://i724.photobucket.com/albums/ww246/ks2me/raises_hand_3.gif\"> TOO !

I am happy to meet parents who share the same sentiments.

Do parents ever ask the child what she really wants ? Does she want to be number 1 in class ? There are some kids who are naturally competitive. For example, when I was in P1, I did not remember studying, yet I was number 1 in class (in a no name primary school). Then every year after that, I pushed myself to stay on top. My mother did not have to do anything (except nagging me for not doing as well in English compared to Chinese).

However, there are many other kids who do not care about competition.

I feel that we should give kids the freedom to decide what they want for themselves. After all, it is their own future.

When the kids reach A levels and university, their grades will only reflect A, B, C, etc. Whether a student gets 90 or 99 marks, makes not difference. What is the point of pushing kids when they are young ?

I feel quite sad reading in another thread, about someone's girl who refused to continue to learn the piano. Why can't the parents just let her do what she wants ?

[Funz]

I think if in your situation, I will ask the teacher if DS’s result is lacking. If not, then why is there a need to push him.


If with me not even giving him a headstart, he is already able to grasp and complete what is taught in school ahead of others, if I were to cover stuff b4 the school would he not be bored in class which may lead to other issues.

At this age, what is more important is learning attitude rather then scoring 100s.

DD is K2 going P1. In her class there are a couple of kids who are really academically ahead of the rest. And according the DD, these kids have to do some homework given by their parents every night. These are also the ones who cry when they make a mistake in their spelling or ting xie.

Think given what I have written, you will know I am like you. I have friends who are sending their kids for all sorts of stuff and asking me why am I not doing so. Especially since DD is starting P1 oredi. Then in forums I read about parents spending time with their kids teaching them to read and they are able to read way ahead of their age or starting to teach their kids multiplication, etc, I also start wondering if I am holding them back or not doing enough. Well we’ll see how DD adapts to primary school going forward.

[tamarind]

Funz:

Then in forums I read about parents spending time with their kids teaching them to read and they are able to read way ahead of their age

That's me Each of my kids only spent 15 mins a day learning to read, then the rest of the time they are playing. I am not robbing them of their childhood lah.

I believe that most kids, of average and above ability, are able to understand complex story lines from books of about 200 words a page, before the age of 6 years old. We are actually doing them a disservice if we only let them read books of 2 to 3 sentences. That's why many kids do not like to read, because they find the simple books very boring. Teaching kids the ability to read at a very young age, gives them the freedom to learn independently, without the need to wait for mommy to come back home from work to read to them. My 5 year old boy has been reading children's encyclopedia on his own, and he enjoys it very much.

tutor:

I rather he reserved his 'ammunition' for his secondary and tertiary education than to burn out in primary school. Some parents may not agree with me but I rather he worked at his own pace than getting into a top school and be pressurized and stressed out.

I agree with you A levels is most important, so that the kids can get into a good university, then university is even more important, because when our kids are looking for jobs, the first thing that employer look for is First Class Honors, Second Class Honors, etc.

I did not do well in university, due to my addiction to computer games :oops: When I looked for jobs, I often had to answer this question : \"You were from RGS ? Why did you do so badly in university ?\" :oops: So sad.

I wonder why parents put so much effort into securing a brand name primary school for the kids, and pushing them to get into top secondary schools.

[Funz]

tamarind:

[quote]
Then in forums I read about parents spending time with their kids teaching them to read and they are able to read way ahead of their age

That's me Each of my kids only spent 15 mins a day learning to read, then the rest of the time they are playing. I am not robbing them of their childhood lah.

I believe that most kids, of average and above ability, are able to understand complex story lines from books of about 200 words a page, before the age of 6 years old. We are actually doing them a disservice if we only let them read books of 2 to 3 sentences. That's why many kids do not like to read, because they find the simple books very boring. Teaching kids the ability to read at a very young age, gives them the freedom to learn independently, without the need to wait for mommy to come back home from work to read to them. My 5 year old boy has been reading children's encyclopedia on his own, and he enjoys it very much.[/quote]Hahaha. Yah you are one of them. Everytime I read what you are doing for your kids for their languages I Then I feel guilty about not getting them to read or reading to them.

Actually, I am lucky that both kids seem to have picked up my love for reading. DD is starting to cart a book along with her wherever she goes. She is now reading Fantastic Mr Fox which was passed down to her by her cousin. DS is still not able to read independantly but is reading from memory so he will pull out books that I have read to them before and start reading them from memory. I don't have a structure like 15mins every nite. It is as and when they feel like it. Like last week, reading took a backseat cos daddy bought them a new set of lego to fiddle around with.

[corneyAmber]

BeautifulLife:

Morning,


Thanks for sharing.
I had always been cool about academic grades all this while....until I realised I am surrounded by mummies who are total opposite of me.
Unknowingly, I had been influenced by them, I guess.
The truth is, it does feel quite worrying when I hear my friends yak about how many tuition and how much assessment books thier kids do daily. Thus I begin to wonder am I cultivating wrong studying habits on my ds. My biggest enjoyment being a stay-at-home-mum, is to bring my 2 ds to the beach, zoo, playground during weekdays when we really bond as a family. I guess the time spent doing all this fun stuff explains why my 2 ds are very close as a family.

I don't know is it due to him being in a SAP school, most of his classmates have numerous tuitions. The boy who got 1st in class, has 2 tuitions daily. I was wondering, he probably may get 3rd(at the worst, cos can see he is very intelligent) without alll his tuitions. So I started thinking, pushing these happy-go-lucky active kids so much just so that they can do extremely well, is it justifiable?

The joke is, I signed up my ds for arithmetic math this holiday in E&P despite me having said the above!wahaha. I really was getting very concerned with not doing anything for my ds. The teacher in this school feedback that ds is a very fast-learner and he actually have to \"wait' for his fellow classmates to grasp the concepts. A few times, the teachers dismissed him earlier from the class cos he has done well and had finished his work. That said, please don't interpret it as my ds is very intelligent. Because I don't think he is very intelligent, just that he is a fast-learner and is very focus when learning. He doesn't know beyond what he is taught to know(in terms of academic), just that he picks up very fast whatever is thrown to him. His classmates has been exposed to fractions and P3 problem sums already. So as compared, ms ds is not as intelligent as them. In fact, quite behind. Haha.

This holiday class prompts me again. That's why am confused because it seems like my ds do not really need extra classes. I can leave him to be taught by his school teachers. But that would mean, he will probably be only an average student in upper primary cos his classmates are mostly so well-advanced.....

You are exactly in the dilemma because of the works of super ks parents.
I suppose we need to take a step back to consider the following scenario in order to know what's best....

Singapore is suddenly hit by 5.1 Richter scale earthquake due to our neighbouring country hitting a high of 10. A school in the east on reclaimed land collapsed completely under this earth-shaking experience. Imagine your kid is trapped underground with this daily-tuition-twice kid, Situ CongMing

CongMing: MingLe, what do we do now? We are trapped but I have to get home by 4pm for my next tuition.

MingLe: Oh I have to get home to go for my daily walk with my mum and my brother.

After a few hours,
CongMing: MingLe, I am feeling faint, what can I do?

MingLe: Just stay awake and think of the countless happy times with your family and you can see them soon.

CongMing: Ok but I have about 5 instances only to recall during the birthdays celebrations otherwise I spend more time with my teachers and tutors...... {Sound fainter and fainter...}

MingLe: CongMing, wake up!! How about getting first in class, that was a happy thing right?

CongMing: Yeah but that is only momentarily....after that it's back to revision for P2 during school holidays.... I don't see the tunnel end for revision but......now I see a tunnel with light that looks soothingly attractive.... {sounds completely faint now...}

You may think this is a :siao: scenario but this is what keeps me on my toes.

[BeautifulLife]

Feel so much better knowing there are so many of you who are like-minded


Funz,
Ds's school teacher said she expected ds to be 1 of her 3 students to score full marks for SA Maths paper. But ds only got 97. I ignorantly replied that the 3 marks were deducted because of careless mistakes(in 1 of the MCQs, ds wrote '1' instead of 'A' for the answer, and in another question, he forgotten the $ sign). You should have seen the teacher's disbelief upon hearing me. She said all these careless mistakes showed that ds didn't do enough assessments at home. I still do not think it is any reason to be concerned over these 2 careless mistakes. Ds is not even 7 years old yet(born in Dec). I mean they are only in P1, give them some room to make silly mistakes....

Was in United Square this afternoon and overheard this very sad conversation. 1 mummy was telling her friend the schedule for her dd who is going P1 next year. Her schedule next year:-
1) Arts lesson in Bukit Timah
2) Private piano lesson
3) Speech & Drama in Julia Gabriel
4) Speech & Drama in Lorna Whiston
5) English & Math in Learning Lab
6) Chinese in Tien Hsia
7) Maths in MRC
Brain development in E&P

I hope her dd can cope with this very hectic schedule. So very sad....