Am I doing my ds a disservice?

[corneyAmber]

jedamum:

maybe that's the reason why i never shared with my friends how i tend to coach my boys at home...

Let's stick to BeautifulLife's main topic on her son, ok?

Jedamum, everything in moderation. If you are not excessive in driving your kids up the wall, there is no need to put yourself in the same footing as such super ks parents who really exist. There is nothing wrong in parents guiding and coaching their kids(if you see what buds and tamarind have shared) so long as it does not become overbearing to the extreme extent quoted in the above cases where kids seem not to enjoy anymore.......

[corneyAmber]

James Ang:

I have come across many youths and even some middle age people who blame their parents (already aged) for not giving them a chance to get a university education although their siblings managed to get into university. I believe parents will try their best to give their children the best gift of education.


Sorry this is not a definition of education, it is called paper chase.
If one really pursues education, one will be educated whether there is paper qualification or not. My mum is a walking living example and have my utmost respect. Despite the lack of opportunity to study beyond primary, she is the most educated person I have ever met who can read every Chinese article given to her and can be the handiest handyman at home from plumbing to engineer. Is she educated? Yes, VERY to me cos some engineer-trained kids I know cannot equal her in fixing any problems in the home. This is not unique to you, many people are very mistaken about education.

Maybe it is due to Confucian thinking, education is most important in Asian society. In fact, I read somewhere that Confucius love and respect young people because these young people can one day become your equal or more.

You make a good point but most people only understand Confucian thinking superficially given the Chinese cultural desert background and lack of time here. Confucius' love and respect for young people is obviously wrongly practised in today's context. Wisdom takes time to brew.

That's why much emphasis is placed on educating the young here in Singapore and to teach them the right values (that is not to blame their parents if they did not go to university if they did not put in the effort because the parents put in their best efforts already!).

Sorry I have to beg to differ again, the word is still 'paper chase' but you are right in pointing out that values are important but time to emphasize that has been compromised with all the other 'paper chase' activities.

For the record, I am not a negative person but I feel the need to speak for innocent children being enslaved by ignorant parents. Just like environment friendly issues, we cannot change the world, but can only continue to preach the same message.

[corneyAmber]

James Ang:

csb:

Hi, ds has yet to start his formal education but I find myself agreeing with much of what the parents posted earlier. Actually, the posts shows that fellow KSparents are very NOT KS

:lol: they are not KSparents for nothing, how can KSparents not be very kiasu?

Actually the right way to call these parents are kan cheong parents (kcparents). There is however a fine line between kan cheong and kia su. If we are not careful...it will tip over to ks. The definition of kan cheong parents to me is knowing the sense of urgency for the right things to happen at the right time. For example, when children going on to P1, there are certainly many things a new parent needs to figure out to get them ready to face formal schooling which some kindy may differ in experience, eg teacher:children ratio is one big change for many...etc..

[corneyAmber]

BeautifulLife, there is no way to control what is happening in the world out there. The only way is to know is what’s best for your kid to grow up well as a successful adult. The more you know and find out about others, the more it will pander to your thought process and influence you, this is like the dark force and it is really a choice everyone is making.

[jedamum]

ks2me:

jedamum:

maybe that's the reason why i never shared with my friends how i tend to coach my boys at home...

If you are not excessive in driving your kids up the wall, there is no need to put yourself in the same footing as such super ks parents who really exist.

ks2me,
actually i am not putting myself in the same footing as the friend.
i am just trying to pass on the message that we should try not to judge people based on the few occasions that we see them in, especially our friends.
it is always easier said than done, but unless we are sure what the parents did are very wrong and that we can or intend to do something to change kid's situation, what is the use of lambasting these parents over the net? It will be better to stick to general/positive comments. jmo.

[tamarind]

ks2me:

jedamum:

maybe that's the reason why i never shared with my friends how i tend to coach my boys at home...

Let's stick to BeautifulLife's main topic on her son, ok?

Jedamum, everything in moderation. If you are not excessive in driving your kids up the wall, there is no need to put yourself in the same footing as such super ks parents who really exist. There is nothing wrong in parents guiding and coaching their kids(if you see what buds and tamarind have shared) so long as it does not become overbearing to the extreme extent quoted in the above cases where kids seem not to enjoy anymore.......

I think we should respect the fact that parents know their kids best, and they are doing what they think is best for the kids.

For those parents who send their kids to many enrichment classes, I heard that in many cases, the kids asked to go for the classes. So it is not the parents' fault. What happens if your child ask for piano, swimming, arts, gym, cooking classes etc ? There are many parents who feel that they should give their kids the best and they don't mind paying for the classes. Since the kids are happy, why should we make any comments ?

Some kids require systematic teaching at home in order to learn how to read. They benefit tremendously when given one to one attention at home. Few kids can learn how to read on their own without being taught. That's why parents like me have to put in the effort to teach my boy at home. Other parents can say that we should just \"take it easy\". But if I do, my boy probably could not read anything at 6 years old. Rest assured that my kids still spend most of their time playing.

So it is not fair to criticize other parents methods, because you really don't know what is the real situation.

[James Ang]

tamarind:

I think we should respect the fact that parents know their kids best, and they are doing what they think is best for the kids.


For those parents who send their kids to many enrichment classes, I heard that in many cases, the kids asked to go for the classes. So it is not the parents' fault. What happens if your child ask for piano, swimming, arts, gym, cooking classes etc ? There are many parents who feel that they should give their kids the best and they don't mind paying for the classes. Since the kids are happy, why should we make any comments ?

Some kids require systematic teaching at home in order to learn how to read. They benefit tremendously when given one to one attention at home. Few kids can learn how to read on their own without being taught. That's why parents like me have to put in the effort to teach my boy at home. Other parents can say that we should just \"take it easy\". But if I do, my boy probably could not read anything at 6 years old. Rest assured that my kids still spend most of their time playing.

So it is not fair to criticize other parents methods, because you really don't know what is the real situation.

hi Tamarind,

I agree with this very important reason why some students are attending lessons and enrichment classes. That is the children themselves want to go for these lessons! Children have aspirations too and that is what some parents dismiss as pure dream and unattainable goals because some parents themselves lack confidence and in their kids too. Kids today being exposed to the world media, they want to be professional even international sportsmen, musician, performers, doctors and lawyers etc. The world is their oyster, and going into systematic learning and through taking music exams and other qualifications is the first step to realising their lofty dreams that can become real, only if they take action. With parents' support of course.

[corneyAmber]

jedamum:

ks2me,

actually i am not putting myself in the same footing as the friend.
i am just trying to pass on the message that we should try not to judge people based on the few occasions that we see them in, especially our friends.
it is always easier said than done, but unless we are sure what the parents did are very wrong and that we can or intend to do something to change kid's situation, what is the use of lambasting these parents over the net? It will be better to stick to general/positive comments. jmo.

Sorry, because you quoted from girlmum and that was not girlmum's friend. I agree no point making such comments if that is a friend that you can do something about.

[corneyAmber]

tamarind:

For those parents who send their kids to many enrichment classes, I heard that in many cases, the kids asked to go for the classes. So it is not the parents' fault. What happens if your child ask for piano, swimming, arts, gym, cooking classes etc ? There are many parents who feel that they should give their kids the best and they don't mind paying for the classes. Since the kids are happy, why should we make any comments ?

I agree enthusiatic kids do ask, so do mine. However, you must be able to see through excuses made by parents and not be naive. And I think we are not talking about happy kids here, we are talking about kids feeling tired, listless and lack of adequate rest.

Let's look at things objectively, will a child ask for speech and drama in Julia Gabria and speech and drama in Lorna Whiston? I believe a child can ask for speech and drama but not both. Can a child request for Maths in TLL, Abacus and MPM at the same time or Shicida and another total brain training at the same time? If so, I take my hats off these genius enrichment kids....geniuses in knowing enrichment. :lol:

Anyway, like you say, it's your(general your, not you per se) kids.

[tamarind]

ks2me:

I agree enthusiatic kids do ask, so do mine. However, you must be able to see through excuses made by parents and not be naive. And I think we are not talking about happy kids here, we are talking about kids feeling tired, listless and lack of adequate rest.

Let's look at things objectively, will a child ask for speech and drama in Julia Gabria and speech and drama in Lorna Whiston? I believe a child can ask for speech and drama but not both. Can a child request for Maths in TLL, Abacus and MPM at the same time or Shicida and another total brain training at the same time? If so, I take my hats off these genius enrichment kids....geniuses in knowing enrichment. :lol:

Anyway, like you say, it's your(general your, not you per se) kids.

It is possible that the kid is the only child at home, always alone at home with the maid. Like my ex-colleague's girl. She probably enjoys attending classes where she can meet other kids, does not matter what classes. It does not matter whether she absorbs anything at all, she can go to class and day dream, but she still likes to go to class because it is better than facing the maid at home.

It's other people's kids, other people's money not any of our business.