Am I doing my ds a disservice?

[James Ang]

radiantmum:

Pardon me - I can't help but go like SO WHAT?! There are also a lot of No. 1s in Guiness Book (some to the extent of silliness in my view) - do we remember them all? I don't remember the name of the 1st in my primary or secondary or jc (is there such a thing as #1 there btw?) ......

Is a matter of opinion. I can remember the top 3 students of my class which is top class in primary school. My only achievement then was being top in Science. Anyway my primary school is not around anymore, but memories are still there. Life is a journey, not a destination. As long as everyone has happy memories and is doing well now, that is what matters.

Who remembers the top aggregate student of PSLE is Natasha Nabila of St Hilda's Primary who gets 294 in PSLE 2007. If it does not mean anything to you it doesn't mean anything to you, that's it. And does it matter that the first man on the moon is Neil Armstrong? If it does not mean anything to you it does not mean anything to you.

[corneyAmber]

James Ang:

Everyone knows what is the name of the 1st in PSLE or 1st in school, but no one remembers the 2nd. Everyone knows the 1st man who has landed on the moon is Neil Armstrong, but no one knows who is the 2nd man, and two spacemen landed on the moon then. This is the global \"The winner takes it all, the loser standing small\" mentality and phenomenon.

If you really think FIRST is so important based on that global mindset, then let me share another fact with you. His co-pilot David Scott was truly NOT even the SECOND to set foot on the moon, he was the SEVENTH...but guess what?? He was the FIRST to drive on the moon... Hey hey... ...so you did not remember all the FIRSTs, did you? radiantmum is spot on again.

James, in all due respect, we spoke about values in our earlier discussion in this thread and I truly respect you for raising the point on values so I hope we can continue to keep our focus on values while educating the young and not lose wisdom to intelligence which in the end, has reducing value if you ponder hard enough.

[tamarind]

ks2me:

Again just for the record, I have NOTHING against academic enrichment /tuition nor any other kind of enrichment at all(KSP's example sounds fine to me). Just appalled at EXTREME cases of multiples of similar enrichment for same subject when a child is not weak in the subject but just to gain a few more points or get 1/2/3 in position. :faint:

What if the child wants to get the number 1 position ? Kids can also be very kiasu, like myself When I was number 1 in P1, I pushed myself to maintain that position until P6. My mother did not stress me at all, she was happy enough that I can get 90+ marks for all subjects. My hubby told me that he was also the same, his parents totally did not care about how well he did, but he worked hard so that he could stay on top.

Back then, there were no enrichment classes. If I were born in this generation, I would probably ask my parents to send me to the Learning Lab if it can help me get those extra marks.

My kids, however, do not care about competition at all.

As I wrote earlier, let the child decide for herself what she wants for her life.

[James Ang]

tamarind:

What if the child wants to get the number 1 position ? Kids can also be very kiasu, like myself When I was number 1 in P1, I pushed myself to maintain that position until P6. My mother did not stress me at all, she was happy enough that I can get 90+ marks for all subjects. My hubby told me that he was also the same, his parents totally did not care about how well he did, but he worked hard so that he could stay on top.


Back then, there were no enrichment classes. If I were born in this generation, I would probably ask my parents to send me to the Learning Lab if it can help me get those extra marks.

My kids, however, do not care about competition at all.

As I wrote earlier, let the child decide for herself what she wants for her life.

You have hit the nail on the head yet again! There are children who want to be number 1. This is their value system, to be the best that they can be.

And our countrymen seek to be No.1 in the global arena as well. It is a Singaporean's KS trait, everything also want to be No. 1, aka kiasuism. And we all remember that Ang Peng Siong was once the fastest swimmer in the world. Does being No.1 matters? Yes to some. :lol:

[tutormum]

insider:

My eldest daughter is one of those want to be No. 1 in her studies but personally I place having a good balance in life more important than being No. 1 if being No. 1 means she has to spend most time on her books.


She is not one of those gifted ones but hardworking and a goal getter. Knowing her competitive nature since she was young and actually I not approving of it, she has:

1. no enrichment at all other than a three months phonics course when she was about K1 or K2.

2. zero enrichment and tuition from P1 to mid of Sec 4.

3. only Japanese tuition when she was closer to the end of O levels exam.

I think she can be 'groomed' to be a No. 1 if I want to grant her tuitions but a top 5 or 10 is always good enough for me.

I taught her to enjoy life and grades are not everything and being No. 1 is not important. Perfection in life is NOT IMPORTANT!

I taught her to see those extra few marks that are supposedly important to make her maybe be the No. 1 are not important as compared to other social activities that she can enjoy if she is willing to forego that few points.

My teaching drilled some sense into her I believe. Though she still maintains as competitive in her studies, through the years she has cultivated a variety of non-book interests and I think balance is the key. This is a child with the probable quality to be 'No. 1' and she has the attitude to be 'No. 1' but I intentionally pulled her back coz I want her to have the mindset of 'don't need to be No. 1 to be happy' and I don't think I am wasting any part of her potentials.

I NEVER believe in tuition, even my elder son who is not strong academically attended minimal tuitions (zero from P1 to P5, only Chinese in P6 and Sec 1, this December onwards start his O level tuition in Maths).

Regardless of their results, I have faith that these two can make it in their career subsequently as both have strengths in their characters that results can't buy.

Having said that, I am not against tuition. Just that think it should be given only when the child really needs it instead of 'pre-ordering' it even before the need.

:udawoman: :goodpost:
I agree that in all things there must be a balance and it's up to every parents to find that balance for their children.

[en107rn.01056yahoo.01056com.01056sg]

Going back to beautiful life issue, the minimal marks missing from the total score is due to carelessness. So really sending the child to tuition centre or filing this school holiday going through P2 works seem pointless as the child obtain good result based on his own effort with minimal coaching from her.


Many argued that it’s better to send the children to enrichment centre rather than let them sit in front of the tv, play computer games or do nothing.

As she states that her son obtains these marks without much help from her or any enrichment, doesn’t this warrant her to enrich her child further? Not those directly with school work. How about science enrichment (not the school syllabus kind but beyond) /math Olympiad (this is a thinking math rather than school syllabus base), robotic or any other things that are not school related syllabus.

By the way, my kids are home now while I’m at work. They are either glued to PSP, tv, reading, drawing, or playing with lego/doll house. It's school holiday, they are chilling out.
[quote]So to keep her interested in learning, we've to expose her to other stuff not taught in school. Very often, the simple act of having enriching books around in house is sufficient. She can pick up & read for self-learning. However I do not believe in hothousing or drilling the child. Learning more advanced levels should be a breeze, not a torture to the child.[/quote]So, sleepy, what do you do expose your child at home besides letting herself learn via reading?

[sleepy]

EN:

Not those directly with school work. How about science enrichment (not the school syllabus kind but beyond) /math Olympiad (this is a thinking math rather than school syllabus base), robotic or any other things that are not school related syllabus.


So, sleepy, what do you do expose your child at home besides letting herself learn via reading?

Expose to those things you mentioned above. Not restricted to school syllabus. Most important is she continues to enjoy learning new things & acquiring new knowledge.

Reading is her main source of knowledge acquisition. Children encyclopedias, general knowledge, science experiments, children magazines. Basically she reads whatever she lays her hands on.

Academic wise, her favourite is Maths Olympiad or thinking maths type of questions. She does some higher level assessment books if she's in the mood & marks her own work. If it's a new topic to her eg. geometry, dh will brief her.

Her current fave is self learn piano, spending almost an hour everyday even though we didn't engage any piano teacher for her.

Yet to introduce her to robotic. Is it a boy thing or suitable for girls too?


By the way, I'm not against enrichments. I won't hesitate to send her if I deem it useful

[sleepy]

tamarind:

What if the child wants to get the number 1 position ? Kids can also be very kiasu, like myself When I was number 1 in P1, I pushed myself to maintain that position until P6. My mother did not stress me at all, she was happy enough that I can get 90+ marks for all subjects.

Back then, there were no enrichment classes. If I were born in this generation, I would probably ask my parents to send me to the Learning Lab if it can help me get those extra marks.

That generation, parents were mostly in relax mode. Yet their children were motivated to do well in studies & worked hard to achieve their goals

[metz]

BeautifulLife:

My question is, is there anyone out there who are like me? Or am I doing ds a disservice?

Sometimes, I feel the same way too. And it's not just academics alone but also other stuffs. Although both my kids only started on piano lessons early this year, they have been progressing pretty well. My younger gal has started on grade 1 songs and theory recently. No, I don't and can't teach them cos I am music illiterate. So it's impossible for me to advance them in any way. Neither are they extremely hardworking. Their music teachers have commented that they (especially my son) could play even better if they put in more effort. Still, I prefer a more balanced approach. As long as they practise the songs and do the work that their teachers assigned them, I feel it's good enough. Then again, at times, I do feel bad about not pushing them ...

Academically, I can't comment as they have not started their primary school journey yet. We shall see how it goes next year. One resolution I have is not to be hard on him just because he doesn't achieve 90+ or full marks. But I do hope to see improvements over time, ie, he will learn from his weaknesses.

Of course, that is not to mean I'll leave him on his own totally. But rather I hope he would be responsible for his school related work. At home, I'll continue to coach (erm, advance? pump? drill? nurture? groom? Oh, whatever you call it ) him on other areas which include sports, Wii, chess, academics beyond his current level or scope etc.

PS: En, thanks. Robotic class reminds me that I should be starting him on his Mindstorm soon. He has fixed it ages ago, just waiting for me to work on the program with him.

[metz]

EN:

Many argued that it’s better to send the children to enrichment centre rather than let them sit in front of the tv, play computer games or do nothing.

By the way, my kids are home now while I’m at work. They are either glued to PSP, tv, reading, drawing, or playing with lego/doll house. It's school holiday, they are chilling out.

Hi5, En! That is what my kids are doing too! They watched \"UP\" and played Wii this afternoon. At this very moment, they are still playing Wii Super Mario with their friend.

And beats me, I don't understand why doing nothing is necessary bad. For my kids, it would be time to do whatever they like - devising their own games etc. . As long as no mess for me to clear up, I'm happy to have some me time alone.