2012 PSLE Discussions and Strategy

[concerned_of_PSLE 10]

Jus praying hard my mum will not give me the \"I am disappointed with you.\"look when i received my results.but she WILL give me tat hopeless look

:sad:
SIGH
My frens all going out,i am not in the mood of doing tat, except like buying supplies

[concerned_of_PSLE 10]

janet_lee88:

Hi concerned_of_psle,

Don't think too far nor feel upset...I am sure your mum is equally worried. It's just that she doesn't know how to conceal her fear. As long you have put in effort and worked hard for it, don't think too much.
Some parents may not know how to encourage positively. Cheer up ok?

Ok!but....try my best

[mommylow]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

Jus praying hard my mum will not give me the \"I am disappointed with you.\"look when i received my results.but she WILL give me tat hopeless look

:sad:
SIGH
My frens all going out,i am not in the mood of doing tat, except like buying supplies

Seems that you are more worried about how your mom will look at you rather than your 'not so ideal' score.

Come on, your mom is an adult. I'm sure she can regulate her emotions well when the situation arises. You should assure her instead with your willingness to work harder and smarter in future. What your mum wants is your affirmation to keep doing your best.

[janet88]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

janet_lee88:

Hi concerned_of_psle,

Don't think too far nor feel upset...I am sure your mum is equally worried. It's just that she doesn't know how to conceal her fear. As long you have put in effort and worked hard for it, don't think too much.
Some parents may not know how to encourage positively. Cheer up ok?

Ok!but....try my best

Easier said than done...but be positive. What's done is done. Look forward.
There is secondary school ahead. Maybe you can start to prepare like reading up.

[fifiyeo]

Chenonceau:

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

I am sad that your Mom says such things to you. It is important that you tell yourself that you are worth a whole lot than what others say. Ideally, parents should not put their kids down. Sometimes, a parent's confidence and belief is all that keeps a child's head above the water.

You must NEVER believe anyone who tells you that you are of little worth.

NEVER.

The worst that can happen (and I don't think it will) is that you do poorly at the PSLE... and go somewhere other than the top 30 schools. It STILL doesn't matter my dear... my carpenter has education only up to Sec 2... went to VITB... learnt carpentry. Today, he employs a team of workers... owns a workshop last valued at $9 million, drives a huge car, is married to a simple lady who loved him since he was nothing at all and loves him still. His children are filial AND he loves his job.

Not every child has parents who are loving, encouraging and supportive. If you have little emotional support from your Mom, then you must find the strength within you. Now you may not do well but in future, when you are grown... and are stronger... and have matured ... and have more personal resources than you have now, you will succeed.

You must believe it, then it will happen. Don't grow up into one of those who require constant affirmation and likes to put people down. Grow up into one who GIVES affirmation and who will build people UP. For that, you must NOW learn to be strong and not let yourself be bedeviled by negative thoughts.

What happens when other family members are the ones waiting to put the kid down and condemn the parents when he doesn't do well enough for the top few schools?

[fifiyeo]

janet_lee88:

fifiyeo:

I'm so out of juice that I'm still in no mood nor have the energy to go full swing into revision with my no.2 and SA2 is in a week's time. Sigh...am I the only one feeling like that?


By the way, has everyone gotten that grey coloured secondary school posting book? (Sorry I don't know what's the exact name for it)

No, you are not the only one.
I'm 'recovering' slowly...still have to coach #2 bcos she has SA2...do what we can. Just don't have high expectations. Her FT advised me to go easy bcos she is slow. Telling myself, SWITCH FOCUS...she is going to P3 next year. There will be Science !!!

Collected the grey colored book...it's the 2013 sec schools listing.

It's so low morale looking at no.2's work and still have to push on. Actually I'm not fair to no.2. Expect him to do better than no.1 but hardly ever coach him. But no.1 is so NOT independent.

[fifiyeo]

I still haven’t received the booklet on secondary school selection. Are teachers giving them out or we have to collect it from somewhere?

[Nebbermind]

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

janet_lee88:

Hi concerned_of_psle,

Don't think too far nor feel upset...I am sure your mum is equally worried. It's just that she doesn't know how to conceal her fear. As long you have put in effort and worked hard for it, don't think too much.
Some parents may not know how to encourage positively. Cheer up ok?

Ok!but....try my best

Must have the American idol sensation William hung's attitude....\" I've already done my best. I've no regrets\"

[Chenonceau]

rains:

concerned_of_PSLE 10:

My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

Don't be discouraged. Some parents do not have the knack to encourage, or they just express their negative opinion more vocally. My parents were like that when we were young. The only things my mother told us were \"you are just not cut out for studying. You won't make it no matter how hard you study. You won't make it one lah.\" It was of little wonder most of my siblings and I almost always just scraped through each exam. I'm not sure why our mother said those things instead of encouraging us and believing in us, but I'm sure it wasn't because she didn't love us. She just didn't know that her words could hurt our self-esteem and self-belief. It took my own motherhood to make me realize that my mother did love us, and that happened only in my mid twenties. Don't blame your mother for not knowing how to speak encouraging words. She just doesn't know how to hide her fear of being disappointed. She loves you, but she is terribly afraid of disappointments. I know because sometimes I'm like that too!

Remember, no matter what your mother says, psle is but one of the phases in life. The next phase is the O levels which is much more important than psle.

:goodpost: :goodpost: :goodpost: :goodpost: :goodpost: :goodpost:

I saw these inspiring quotes today.

If you need something to believe in... start with yourself.

Don't let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.


Must develop a resilient mind against naysayers otherwise by the time they're done telling you you're no good... you're not realistic... you're too this and too that... you'll have given up and stopped trying.

[Chenonceau]

fifiyeo:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"concerned_of_PSLE 10\"]My mum was like, see!you also cannot get into some sec sch.i feel really bad about it,she says she hav no confidence at all.she don have, i have even lesser

I am sad that your Mom says such things to you. It is important that you tell yourself that you are worth a whole lot than what others say. Ideally, parents should not put their kids down. Sometimes, a parent's confidence and belief is all that keeps a child's head above the water.

You must NEVER believe anyone who tells you that you are of little worth.

NEVER.

The worst that can happen (and I don't think it will) is that you do poorly at the PSLE... and go somewhere other than the top 30 schools. It STILL doesn't matter my dear... my carpenter has education only up to Sec 2... went to VITB... learnt carpentry. Today, he employs a team of workers... owns a workshop last valued at $9 million, drives a huge car, is married to a simple lady who loved him since he was nothing at all and loves him still. His children are filial AND he loves his job.

Not every child has parents who are loving, encouraging and supportive. If you have little emotional support from your Mom, then you must find the strength within you. Now you may not do well but in future, when you are grown... and are stronger... and have matured ... and have more personal resources than you have now, you will succeed.

You must believe it, then it will happen. Don't grow up into one of those who require constant affirmation and likes to put people down. Grow up into one who GIVES affirmation and who will build people UP. For that, you must NOW learn to be strong and not let yourself be bedeviled by negative thoughts.

What happens when other family members are the ones waiting to put the kid down and condemn the parents when he doesn't do well enough for the top few schools?[/quote] :snuggles: :snuggles: ***sayang***

To deal with school teachers who put down my kids... I tell my kids that I am their mother and I know them better than anyone else. Hence, it doesn't matter what anyone else says. It only matters what I say. This draws up a psychological firewall around their psyches.

To deal with family members, I will tell my kids the same thing... and then separately, I will deal with my family members. If I need to, I will reduce contact between my kids and those people... until they stop being negative. Different family members needed to be dealt with differently but by now... all know better than to put down my kids. I don't get angry but my expectations are made known and most are nice enough and respect me enough to cooperate, especially when my skills are motivating also help THEIR kids.

The more difficult issue is when one child puts down the other. Not with words but with action. My son used give up easy because his sister won him in every thing so easily. He learnt he was a loser by the time I realized... I had to undo some damage.