DSA 2012
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GoodDad:
\"Let our DCs decide their course of action\"mommylow:
[quote=\"KS4Son\"]Need advice .... My DS is offered CO from HCI, but rejected by RI during DSA via academics. I know his heart is set on RI, but he is afraid to take the risk of rejecting HCI not knowing if he can get into RI using PSLE results. I have consulted his form teacher and she is rather confident that my DS should be able to get decent T score to enter RI. We are rather troubled now ....
Since your son has his heart set on RI, then he should probably go for it using his PSLE score to get in. It is a gamble that he has to make as I am sure he will be a happier boy in RI than in HCI for 6 years. If he does not get a minimum score of 261 but his score stays above 258, he can still opt for HCI.
My son is also given a CO from HCI and was unsuccessful for RI after he had gone for the final selection test. He told me both schools are great but he feels he will be happier in HCI although I would prefer him to get into RI which he feels confident of getting in too after doing his PSLE. As parents, we must respect our kid's decision. We cannot decide for them on certain issues because if things go wrong, it will backfire and the kids may blame us for the wrong decision. Let our DCs decide their course of action.
A lot of parents mentioned in this forum that at 12 years old, DCs are still very young and still not sure what they want, so it is better for the parent to make the final decision, DCs inputs are only for reference....
I feel a little confuse here. So should we let our DCs decide or the parents should make the final decision?[/quote]To me it is very important for DC to be happy. I believe if DC is happy then he/she will view everything in positive light. -
Hi GoodDad
I feel for certain matters, the maturity of a 12 year old is still in question, so parents must step in to guide. However the issue of choosing a secondary school, I am talking about schools of the same quality, is something that the kid has to decide himself. Of course, the choice of schools must not deviate too much in standard…like choosing between one that has a COP of 230 and the other at 261. What matters most is the school suits the child’s learning style and it is a place whereby his potential can be fully realized so that he can shine.
Some students have no opinion of where they want to go, these are easier to settle as the parents will choose as they deem fit. Many of my DS’s classmates have no idea where they want to go and they and their parents will let their T-scores decide for them. I notice those aiming for premier schools are mostly caught up in a dilemma. They are good enough to get into any school they want. Since these premier schools are excellent choices, choosing any of it cannot go wrong. It now boils down to what our DCs want from the heart. If they can decide for themselves, then it actually takes a big headache off the parents, doesn’t it? I think we have to respect our DCs wishes, even at 12 years old. They are sometimes more mature than we think. -
KS4Son:
Need advice .... My DS is offered CO from HCI, but rejected by RI during DSA via academics. I know his heart is set on RI, but he is afraid to take the risk of rejecting HCI not knowing if he can get into RI using PSLE results. I have consulted his form teacher and she is rather confident that my DS should be able to get decent T score to enter RI. We are rather troubled now ....
Hi KS4Son,
When I read your msg, it is as though someone is writing on my behalf of the same dilemma that I'm facing. The only difference is that my DS did not DSA to RI.
Although many thoughtful advice given that our DS/DD are able to know how they fare after the PSLE, but sometimes we do face a situation where we \"thought\" we can score but it may turn out differently from our expectation; hence the fear and the gamble the kids have to take.
RI is my DS dream sch, but he said he is fine going to HCI as he likes the sch's organisation (ie, divided into 4 consortiums) and he analyses that students would be given proper attention and opportunities to excel in each consortium which I think this is quite logical.
HCI has sent out invitations to the some CO candidates(not all) to attend the
2D1N at HCI boarding school next week and also a parent symposium; so if your DS is invited then this will be a good opportunity to interact with the seniors' school lives and experiences; school environment; etc. I must say these are very good events for both the DS/parents to make our final decisions which is approximately 9days from now-22October. I hope your DS is vited for this event.
The only dilemma would be the MT(HCL), not sure if he can cope given that the amount of HCL exposure would definitely be quite substantial. But will clarify this during the Parents' symposium.
KS4Son, the only consolation we could as parents do is to relax and hear what our DS/DD feel and guide them along; some kids are not mature yet.
If your DS is not invited for the event, it's fine as you have the parent's symposium and he can tag along to find more about the school.
Hope above helps and sort of letting you know, you are not the only parent facing this dilemma; you have this helpful KiasuParents forum to hear your thoughts.
Nutty mum -
GoodDad:
It really depends case-by-case.
\"Let our DCs decide their course of action\"
A lot of parents mentioned in this forum that at 12 years old, DCs are still very young and still not sure what they want, so it is better for the parent to make the final decision, DCs inputs are only for reference....
I feel a little confuse here. So should we let our DCs decide or the parents should make the final decision?
I'm sure most of us will only allow that if the choices are equally good. If we know one has a runaway advantage over the other, it'll quite difficult to let it happen. -
Hi Guys, does any of your kids wants to accept the CO from SJI IB?
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Simon KP:
Hi Guys, does any of your kids wants to accept the CO from SJI IB?
Hi,
Yes my son most probably will. -
Sometimes I wonder why still go for the dsa if having so much doubts...given these are also very good schools. Personally, it's a waste of everyone's time having a go at other schools when ultimately, there's only one school that matters.
Ok...it's yr choice, not mine :imcool: -
Nebbermind:
Maybe some parents and some students feels insecure and need to hold on to something as early as possible? Maybe some people just need to find their real worth by getting acceptance from top schools then can show to other parents and schoolmates? Maybe some don't even know exact why apply for dsa that is why so much doubts.Sometimes I wonder why still go for the dsa if having so much doubts...given these are also very good schools. Personally, it's a waste of everyone's time having a go at other schools when ultimately, there's only one school that matters.
Ok...it's yr choice, not mine :imcool:
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GoodDad:
GoodDad, like what the others have said, it all depend on the maturity of the kids.\"Let our DCs decide their course of action\"
A lot of parents mentioned in this forum that at 12 years old, DCs are still very young and still not sure what they want, so it is better for the parent to make the final decision, DCs inputs are only for reference....
I feel a little confuse here. So should we let our DCs decide or the parents should make the final decision?
I actually allow my DS to make decision on his choice of school since P1. I brought him to 2 primary schools and told him some info of the 2 schools. In the end, he made the decision to go to a primary school whereby the academic result is not so good. But he's happy there.
Then when he was being selected for GEP, again he was given 2 choices of schools, he again made the decision to go for one with lower academic result. & he is happy there.
Now, he's again given 2 choices of sec schools. I'll definitely leave it to him to decide but will offer my opinions.
I think most importantly, if parents decide to allow their DC to make decisions, parents should respect the decision. Do not ever bring up those words of \"if\" or \"should have\" (like you should have chosen the other sch, etc) subsequently when the DC do not do well in the choice of schools. -
When my Dd selected primary school, I chose. When it comes to gep I chose. When it’s secondary I chose. When it’s University she chose. I happen to like Harvard too.
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