Recommendation of changes to reduce Stress for PSLE

[Chenonceau]

pirate:

linden2000:

DKWhy, you may not agree with Janet - different strokes for different folks... But your post borders on a personal attack, is hurtful and is totally uncalled for.

Which part? My reading comprehension not very good leh.

Post deleted lah... less said the better.

[Chenonceau]

Laura02:

An excerpt from the Huffington Post. By Sandra DuPont. Effectively parenting teens : leading by example. URL : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-dupont/parenting-teens_b_1959383.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-teens


Here are some thoughts why teens and parents have difficulty navigating the teen years, and suggestions for a more graceful passage:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: \"I'm OK only if I live up to your expectations.\"
2. Parents don't allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens don't learn time management skills simply through the creation of \"daily routine\" charts.
4. Parents gift their children too many things and then wonder why teens are not only unappreciative, they also want more.
5. Teens don't learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don't always know how to calmly and simply say, \"I love you, and the answer is no.\"
7. Refrain from thinking that in order to make teens do better, you first have to make them feel worse. Instead, be kind and firm while holding them accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions that that will work for everyone.
9. Parents expect teens to \"remember to do their chores\" as though it were an indicator of responsibility. Yet not all responsible adults were responsible teens.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results than long-term results. For example: I'll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance. Instead, allow teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen's behavior rather than merely react to it. Being a \"drill sergeant\" or a \"helicopter parent\" gives teens the message that you don't trust them to do things on their own and undermines their self-esteem, which prevents them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental. Respectful parenting means being able to see the frustrations teens encounter when pushing against imposed boundaries as opportunities for them to exercise self-control, self-respect and respect for others.

It has be said that: \"While not all teachers are parents, all parents are teachers.\" Good character traits like empathy and respect are teachable skills that must be learned at home and at school. When we teach children to be good people we help create a world that is safer, kinder and more equitable.

Thanks for sharing Laura!

[pirate]

Chenonceau:

Laura02:

An excerpt from the Huffington Post. By Sandra DuPont. Effectively parenting teens : leading by example. URL : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-dupont/parenting-teens_b_1959383.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-teens


Here are some thoughts why teens and parents have difficulty navigating the teen years, and suggestions for a more graceful passage:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: \"I'm OK only if I live up to your expectations.\"
2. Parents don't allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens don't learn time management skills simply through the creation of \"daily routine\" charts.
4. Parents gift their children too many things and then wonder why teens are not only unappreciative, they also want more.
5. Teens don't learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don't always know how to calmly and simply say, \"I love you, and the answer is no.\"
7. Refrain from thinking that in order to make teens do better, you first have to make them feel worse. Instead, be kind and firm while holding them accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions that that will work for everyone.
9. Parents expect teens to \"remember to do their chores\" as though it were an indicator of responsibility. Yet not all responsible adults were responsible teens.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results than long-term results. For example: I'll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance. Instead, allow teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen's behavior rather than merely react to it. Being a \"drill sergeant\" or a \"helicopter parent\" gives teens the message that you don't trust them to do things on their own and undermines their self-esteem, which prevents them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental. Respectful parenting means being able to see the frustrations teens encounter when pushing against imposed boundaries as opportunities for them to exercise self-control, self-respect and respect for others.

It has be said that: \"While not all teachers are parents, all parents are teachers.\" Good character traits like empathy and respect are teachable skills that must be learned at home and at school. When we teach children to be good people we help create a world that is safer, kinder and more equitable.

Thanks for sharing Laura!

I think that already applies to pre-school kids. I know mine is precocious enough for most of the above to be applicable.

[Chenonceau]

Pirate… oh yes indeed. If you want a responsible teen, better start many of the above in preschool… with little things.

[linden2000]

Think it’s been mentioned before but think publishing the past year PSLE papers by year will go some way towards reducing stress. Currently the papers are published by topics and apparently not all the questions are in. Hence, it’s not really possible to gauge whether the kid is well-prepared for the PSLE based on his/her performance in the school exams, since the standards vary among schools and some schools seem to set very tough papers to ‘wake up’ their students. If the full paper is published, parents can ascertain what % the really tough questions comprise and whether to ‘chase’ after those questions by drilling the kids further. For instance, if the % is small, some parents may then make the informed decision not to drill their kids further to be able to get that small proportion of marks. Right now parents usually just hear the PSLE is actually easier than the top school papers but without seeing the actual papers themselves, it’s still guesswork and this uncertainty creates stress for both parents and students.

[Chenonceau]

slmkhoo:

linden2000:

Think it's been mentioned before but think publishing the past year PSLE papers will go some way towards reducing stress. Currently the papers are published by topics and apparently not all the questions are in. Hence, it's not really possible to gauge whether the kid is well-prepared for the PSLE based on his/her performance in the school exams, since the standards vary among schools and some schools seem to set very tough papers to 'wake up' their students. If the full paper is published, parents can ascertain what % the really tough questions comprise and whether to 'chase' after those questions by drilling the kids further. For instance, if the % is small, some parents may then make the informed decision not to drill their kids further to be able to get that small proportion of marks. Right now parents usually just hear the PSLE is actually easier than the top school papers but without seeing the actual papers themselves, it's still guesswork and this uncertainty creates stress for both parents and students.

YES!

And if there are parents who want (and kids who enjoy) material that is university level, just leave them to enjoy the learning without testing everyone to those standards in order to ensure that no one (or only a few) can score 100 at the PSLE.

Little Boy went and attended an NUS lecture today on South East Asian studies, just for fun. PSLE does not have to test his enrichment material just to be able to place him on a bell curve right? It doesn't matter whether his learning can be measured or not if he enjoys it.

[janet88]

linden2000:

Think it's been mentioned before but think publishing the past year PSLE papers will go some way towards reducing stress. Currently the papers are published by topics and apparently not all the questions are in. Hence, it's not really possible to gauge whether the kid is well-prepared for the PSLE based on his/her performance in the school exams, since the standards vary among schools and some schools seem to set very tough papers to 'wake up' their students. If the full paper is published, parents can ascertain what % the really tough questions comprise and whether to 'chase' after those questions by drilling the kids further.

If schools make kids buy that PSLE past year booklet as practice, then I definitely agree the complete paper should be printed. No wonder I seem to find something missing. :razz: Blur me.

[Coolkidsrock2]

And schools can replace the textbooks with the PSLE past year exams booklet.

[janet88]

Coolkidsrock2:

And schools can replace the textbooks with the PSLE past year exams booklet.

Not just PSLE past 5 years (2007-2011) papers, but past year exam papers as well :evil: This way, kids have 9 months..sure can finish everything in relaxed manner...instead of cramming kids with paper after paper from Aug.

[safetyfirst]

Laura02:

An excerpt from the Huffington Post. By Sandra DuPont. Effectively parenting teens : leading by example. URL : http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sandra-dupont/parenting-teens_b_1959383.html?utm_hp_ref=parents-teens


Here are some thoughts why teens and parents have difficulty navigating the teen years, and suggestions for a more graceful passage:

1. Teens feel conditionally loved: \"I'm OK only if I live up to your expectations.\"
2. Parents don't allow teens to learn from failure, an excellent motivator.
3. Teens don't learn time management skills simply through the creation of \"daily routine\" charts.
4. Parents gift their children too many things and then wonder why teens are not only unappreciative, they also want more.
5. Teens don't learn problem-solving skills when parents lecture them.
6. Parents don't always know how to calmly and simply say, \"I love you, and the answer is no.\"
7. Refrain from thinking that in order to make teens do better, you first have to make them feel worse. Instead, be kind and firm while holding them accountable.
8. Parents too often tell their teen what to do rather than inviting them to brainstorm solutions that that will work for everyone.
9. Parents expect teens to \"remember to do their chores\" as though it were an indicator of responsibility. Yet not all responsible adults were responsible teens.
10. Parents are often more interested in short-term results than long-term results. For example: I'll force you to do your homework now even if it means you will not do your best because you are rebelling.
11. Parents nag, which invites resistance. Instead, allow teens to explore for themselves the relevance of what you want them to do.

During the teen years, it is vital that parents understand their teen's behavior rather than merely react to it. Being a \"drill sergeant\" or a \"helicopter parent\" gives teens the message that you don't trust them to do things on their own and undermines their self-esteem, which prevents them from developing confidence in their own abilities. Successfully navigating this phase of life involves setting boundaries and enforcing consequences without becoming punitive, angry, or judgmental. Respectful parenting means being able to see the frustrations teens encounter when pushing against imposed boundaries as opportunities for them to exercise self-control, self-respect and respect for others.

It has be said that: \"While not all teachers are parents, all parents are teachers.\" Good character traits like empathy and respect are teachable skills that must be learned at home and at school. When we teach children to be good people we help create a world that is safer, kinder and more equitable.

Thanks for sharing