All About Autism

[mayjoel]

Hi,

I need to send my ASD boy to tuition badly. He is still not improving and totally lacking behind (He’s P1). Pls advise if there is a any good tuition centre in CCK area. Thanks!

[nugget]

Blokus,


My hb is very involved in taking care of my son. Partly bcos my son is very very close to him than me. Daddy is my son’s first choice. I am his 2nd choice. I remember i spent days crying over my son’s condition and my hb always stood by my side to comfort me. He is very supportive and very worried about my son as well.

He never read up anything as well. We worked hand in hand together. I read up on all the stuff, then I summarized then tell him. My hb hates to read… Unless those really worthy article then I let him read. Also I search youtubes to let him see… what ASD kids are like etc. How we can help them. When I learnt new techniques, then I will share with him and we will applied it together on my son.

Having a special needs kid can bond or break a relationship. I can say me and hb are really riding the waves together. He will be my soulmate for life… We have recently had a newborn baby, he is also very attentive to me. Always sneak me out for a lunch or something when we leave all the kids at my in laws. Parents like us also need a break. I am thankful to have a spouse like him.

Its my parents and parents in law are the one thinking my son can "outgrow" his ASD.

[specialboymum]

Blokus:

Curious to know how your husbands reacted after the diagnosis? Now that it's possible that our son is on the spectrum, I made effort to read up, source for therapy, talk to other moms etc. My hub on the other hand has done no research & not as on the ball as me. Though he acknowledges our son needs help & goes along with any plans I've set up for our son without any disagreement. But I just wish he was more active in reading up so that he knows when to correct our child's behaviour. Alot of times he let things when my son needs correction. many a times he does that is because he doesnt realize some behaviors need to be corrected. In his mind, our son is still a child and so he let things slide like when our son don't respond to people, my hub will just stand there and let it be. That frustrates me no end. He also thinks autism is something can be outgrown. Arrg. How are hubs like?

Blokus, your hubby does sound like mine.. Sometimes, I also feel frustrated that I am so alone in this long battle. After a while, I tried to console myself, just do what I feel is right, and try to see his \"no disagreement\" in more positive light i.e. as being supportive. I also come to realization that getting frustrated or angry with hubby will not do much help to our kids.

Maybe men are like that, they are not good in multitasking as women so they can't worry about work and the children at the same time. It may be worse, if we give them more stress that they can handle, till they snap.

[mashy]

specialboymum:

Blokus:

Curious to know how your husbands reacted after the diagnosis? Now that it's possible that our son is on the spectrum, I made effort to read up, source for therapy, talk to other moms etc. My hub on the other hand has done no research & not as on the ball as me. Though he acknowledges our son needs help & goes along with any plans I've set up for our son without any disagreement. But I just wish he was more active in reading up so that he knows when to correct our child's behaviour. Alot of times he let things when my son needs correction. many a times he does that is because he doesnt realize some behaviors need to be corrected. In his mind, our son is still a child and so he let things slide like when our son don't respond to people, my hub will just stand there and let it be. That frustrates me no end. He also thinks autism is something can be outgrown. Arrg. How are hubs like?

Blokus, your hubby does sound like mine.. Sometimes, I also feel frustrated that I am so alone in this long battle. After a while, I tried to console myself, just do what I feel is right, and try to see his \"no disagreement\" in more positive light i.e. as being supportive. I also come to realization that getting frustrated or angry with hubby will not do much help to our kids.

Maybe men are like that, they are not good in multitasking as women so they can't worry about work and the children at the same time. It may be worse, if we give them more stress that they can handle, till they snap.

Hmm, mine is between nugget and blokus. Same thing, he also didn't read up at all. I had to tell him what to do. But he will willingly do it and he doesn't make a big deal out of this autism thing. To him, he is still his kid no matter what is the diagnosis. When correction is needed, he will correct. When praises are warranted, he will give it. Sometimes I feel that my kids are more important to him than me. And also, I think we treat our son the same way as before the diagnosis. We don't let things slide because of his condition nor do we over emphasize on certain things. Only when his behaviour starts to interfere with his daily activities, then we will interfere. Like my hb will stop him from spinning. He has also introduced some good stuff to the kids and I think he acts as a balance to the overly worried, Kancheong mummy. Like when I studied with my boy, I was very impatient. My hb is more patient and somehow, he managed to get my boy to be self motivated to do well. He also lie down with them at night and asked them to share their happy thoughts of the day. In a way, it helps them focus on the good things in life and be happy. I guess he did it his own way, just not my way. And that doesn't mean it's wrong.

[mashy]

I was really upset with my hb yesterday because he ordered the wrong food for me. Not only that, it is something that I never liked and he knew it. I was fuming and asked my boy what should I do so that he can try some prob solving skills. Well, his suggestions made me laugh and I wasn’t angry anymore after that.


He thought for a while, then told me, "Mummy, maybe u can get Daddy to buy u the same food everyday until he gets it right." The thought of having to eat the same food everyday just to teach him the correct way is as good as punishing myself in the process too. Lol.

[nugget]

Mashy,


Your boy is so cute. Haha. At least he attempted.

My hb treats him different, but not less. He still expects him to be able to join mainstream P1 where possible. We are doing those K1 exercise books with him, worksheets, reading etc… We will keep trying to teach him on the academic aspect until the school kick him out saying he is low IQ and cannot go mainstream anymore.

[mashy]

nugget:

Mashy,


Your boy is so cute. Haha. At least he attempted.

My hb treats him different, but not less. He still expects him to be able to join mainstream P1 where possible. We are doing those K1 exercise books with him, worksheets, reading etc... We will keep trying to teach him on the academic aspect until the school kick him out saying he is low IQ and cannot go mainstream anymore.

Don't worry. My boy has NT classmates who scored 3/25 in a class test! And these are not under privileged children.

[Blokus]

Thanks mummies for sharing.


I don’t know if it’s because our son doesn’t show autism signs so outwardly that makes my hub think our child is normal. He seems to treat this condition like any other flu bug that would go away one day. Maybe that’s why he’s not so kan chong as me. But like specialboymum said, I do feel rather alone doing all the work. I need him to lead and not just be a follower. I think I’m most frustrated that he thinks autism can be cured which leads him to be so relax. Yet, I feel maybe it’s a good thing, having 2 kan Chong, worried parents may not be that good either. Someone has to be calm and optimistic. I think my hub and I are both on the extreme end. I’m at the extreme kan Chong mode and he’s at the extreme ‘relax, everything is fine!’ mode. Sigh.

[helplessmum3]

my too la. ask him to be consistence. he cant... u know our asd need us to be consistence to get it right.. :(...


my hub also think will\"outgrow\" la, let him be as long make him feel better.

[Double E]

My husband is also very much with me on this journey. We split our work. For example, I am the one to source for therapies, read up on book and work with my boy on his academic. My hubby, on the other hand, will bring him to attend all his therapies and work on his OT.


When I found out about my boy’s issues, I also cried buckets for a few nights, waking up with puffy eyes. My husband didn’t say much but just put his arms around me and let me sob. However, both of us have trying time with my boy. When I lose my cool, he will take over. And when he loses his cool, I will take over. But men being men, I will still nag him or remind him to do OT with my boy cos sometimes he will forget when he gets busy.

And while I still carry hopes for my boy to go to mainstream P1, he will be the devil’s advocate and tell me to be prepared if our boy can’t make it to mainstream.