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    All About Autism

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Special Needs & Learning Difficulties
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    • L Offline
      lavendery
      last edited by

      It’s all my oversight and the urgency to get settled down before I reach 28yrs old. We had very short dating, met up for a few hours once a week due to my hectic work. When HDB released the balanced left over flats in mature estates, he proposed to me and I agreed.


      He’s really ok during dating. It’s only when we started to live together after marriage, then I realized he portraying more and more weird behaviors. I thought i have married a lunatic guy. I asked his family members and its only then i realised that they said he has been behaving like that since young, so its normal to them. I felt cheated at that instance and I moved out of our married flat after tolerating him for 3mths and i realised that i was 1mth+ pregnant by then. Till now he still doesn’t understand why my girl is also consider as his daughter too because i was the one who gave birth to her sigh

      When my girl was suspected to have autism, I read up and was surprised to find my husband displaying a few common similarities. When I told him our girl had autism, he merely told me there’s nothing to be sad about, not many parents have the chance to get their kids diagnosed with autism. I was speechless at that moment but I knew I cannot blame him cos he was wired differently.

      The reason why I didn’t divorce him till now is becos it’s not his fault to behave like this. But its very financially straining for me to raise my girl cos i am not qualify for any subsidies (eg my girl’s EIPIC) as it takes account for both parents income.

      Back to the question, I didn’t know there’s such thing called autism in the first place. If I know he is under the spectrum, even if someone offer me a mountain of gold to marry him, I rather remain single. So I’m not as courageous as what you all think.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • H Offline
        helplessmum3
        last edited by

        How to get adult to get diagnosed ?


        What is husband working as now? How old is he?

        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
        • D Offline
          Double E
          last edited by

          Helplessmum

          What kind of job is your husband looking for? Finding a job is hard but if he is willing to do anything, I am sure there will be jobs for him. It is better than staying at home, get his frustrations bottled up and take out on the son.

          1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
          • D Offline
            Double E
            last edited by

            Lavendery,

            Thanks for opening up about your hubby with us.

            About subsidy, you should be entitled although may not be as much. Perhaps you can share with the social worker about your situation and see what they can do.

            And are u able to ask for some allowance from your hubby although u are no longer staying together?

            1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
            • J Offline
              jme
              last edited by

              Helplessmum, how about considering renting out your place, stay with your parents for the time being. Money can be quite substantial if u rent out the whole unit n this might help u alot

              1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
              • J Offline
                jme
                last edited by

                Lavendery, have u thought of putting your girl in the integrated child care? I was considering rainbow but I needed to pay close to $1k without much sibsidy too. In the end I chose integ cc cos there is $300 working mum subsidy from govt. The cc provides ot, st too

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                • L Offline
                  lavendery
                  last edited by

                  helplessmum3:
                  How to get adult to get diagnosed ?


                  What is husband working as now? How old is he?
                  Try to go thru the subsidized route. Can refer to Polyclinic and get diagnosed at IMH.

                  I'm sure your husband is actively looking for jobs but its near year end now. Lots of people won't be quiting as they are waiting for 13th mth bonus. He will have better luck next year 🙂

                  1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                  • M Offline
                    mashy
                    last edited by

                    Lavendry


                    U are very kind. If I were u, I would have divorced him already. Didn’t his family tell u or even hinted to u anything?

                    Can u ask for some sort of maintenance from him for your gal at least? Does he still see his gal?

                    1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
                    • H Offline
                      helplessmum3
                      last edited by

                      My hub can’t any take up any job end up I will to suffer cuz he sure will hav unhappy about the job.


                      I can’t rent my house its will be a long process … Inorder to rent I need to rearrange n pack up a lot of things I don’t have the time to do it now. My mother stay in 2 room flat w my brother who is just a delivery man … My mother is very sick she has diabete n knee problem always fainting a lot of health problem …

                      Eipic ceiling is very bad… I still have to pay 300 a month n bus fee 80… A lot of money for me already cuz my son still need full day care cuz he go rainbow Monday to wed from 315 to 515…I work at 6pm from 9am…

                      See double e, only pay 400++ but dual income de… They shd review the calculation

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                      • H Offline
                        helplessmum3
                        last edited by

                        double e, u really hit the key word"bottled up"

                        1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0

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