All About Autism
-
Mashy, sorry for v late post n tx for your sharing on your son too
-
Lavendery
So sorry to hear about your husband’s condition. But I guess with him also being in the spectrum, he also can’t control what he is doing.
Sorry if I ask too much here. Are u aware that your hubby is an aspie before you marry him? If yes, I truely admire your courage to accept him with an open arm.
I do not have expectations of my boy finding a partner in future cos I know no woman will want to marry an ASD adult. I will be contented with him being able to be independent, earn a decent living on his own and have a few close friends whom he can go to. Actually, whenever I think about this, I will feel very sorry for my boy, he can’t have a family of his own and children like others. And since we parents will pass on before him, he will be quite lonely and only has his younger sister as next of kin. I hope his younger sister and her future husband and children will accept and love him as much as my husband and I, celebrate his birthday, have weekly dinners with him and invite him for family gatherings. Yes, whenever I think about these issues, I can’t help but tear.
Helplessmum
Agree with mashy. You need to have a good talk with your husband. If he doesn’t have the patient to help u take care of your son, he should help out with housework and leave you and your son alone. -
Helpless mum,
To be honest, I used to skip reading your posting as I thought u whine too much on how your son is not good at this or that and why u r put in this situation. I even wanted to post n ask u to snap out of it n to love your son for who he is n not what u want him to be. however, I feel for u now cos I know it is not easy to struggle alone with special need child along with financial difficulties. To help your son, u need to look after yourself well first. Please take care -
my hub already depress, if ask him to do house work he even more depress and pride… no jobs already, get asd kids now have to do house work … i think he cant handle anymore…
if he meltdown he can be very rough & hard on his son. slap him hard & etc if my son shouting without knowing shouting is wrong… sigh…quite physical… -
It’s all my oversight and the urgency to get settled down before I reach 28yrs old. We had very short dating, met up for a few hours once a week due to my hectic work. When HDB released the balanced left over flats in mature estates, he proposed to me and I agreed.
He’s really ok during dating. It’s only when we started to live together after marriage, then I realized he portraying more and more weird behaviors. I thought i have married a lunatic guy. I asked his family members and its only then i realised that they said he has been behaving like that since young, so its normal to them. I felt cheated at that instance and I moved out of our married flat after tolerating him for 3mths and i realised that i was 1mth+ pregnant by then. Till now he still doesn’t understand why my girl is also consider as his daughter too because i was the one who gave birth to her sigh
When my girl was suspected to have autism, I read up and was surprised to find my husband displaying a few common similarities. When I told him our girl had autism, he merely told me there’s nothing to be sad about, not many parents have the chance to get their kids diagnosed with autism. I was speechless at that moment but I knew I cannot blame him cos he was wired differently.
The reason why I didn’t divorce him till now is becos it’s not his fault to behave like this. But its very financially straining for me to raise my girl cos i am not qualify for any subsidies (eg my girl’s EIPIC) as it takes account for both parents income.
Back to the question, I didn’t know there’s such thing called autism in the first place. If I know he is under the spectrum, even if someone offer me a mountain of gold to marry him, I rather remain single. So I’m not as courageous as what you all think. -
How to get adult to get diagnosed ?
What is husband working as now? How old is he? -
Helplessmum
What kind of job is your husband looking for? Finding a job is hard but if he is willing to do anything, I am sure there will be jobs for him. It is better than staying at home, get his frustrations bottled up and take out on the son. -
Lavendery,
Thanks for opening up about your hubby with us.
About subsidy, you should be entitled although may not be as much. Perhaps you can share with the social worker about your situation and see what they can do.
And are u able to ask for some allowance from your hubby although u are no longer staying together? -
Helplessmum, how about considering renting out your place, stay with your parents for the time being. Money can be quite substantial if u rent out the whole unit n this might help u alot
-
Lavendery, have u thought of putting your girl in the integrated child care? I was considering rainbow but I needed to pay close to $1k without much sibsidy too. In the end I chose integ cc cos there is $300 working mum subsidy from govt. The cc provides ot, st too
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login