MOE to stop publishing names of top students?

[schweppes]

Some tongue-in-cheek humor by Bertha Henson, former ST editor.


Preparing for PSLE results
In News Reports on November 20, 2012 at 12:34 am
Diary of a wimpy kid (from a top school)
I think I’m going to be the top PSLE student this year. Actually, I’m sure of it. I mean, I am from GEP and already directly admitted into an IP school.

I wonder if the newspapers will publish my aggregate score. I read in The Straits Times today that some parents think it will stress them out, or stress out their kids in neighbourhood schools. Gosh! I should never say neighbourhood school.

Oh no, what will I do when the newspaper people come interview me? What if they ask me for my score? Can I tell them? I mean, I hope my score gets published. I worked so hard and all that.. and Mom and Dad will be so pleased to see a photo of me. Grandma too. My principal already got people to photograph me. He wants me on the school banner to publicise the school for next year’s school admission. I wonder if he’s still going to do it…I hope it’s a nice picture.

Maybe I shouldn’t give my score. I mean what will other students think of me? That I’m very proud and snobbish? Maybe I shouldn’t even say that I am from the GEP. Better to lie low and act stupid. I better tell them I live in a HDB flat. Maybe three-room? Not credible. Maybe executive condominium flat. But Dad is a doctor and mom is a lawyer and still living in HDB? Maybe I’ll just say we’re renting our Bukit Timah bungalow while our executive condo is being renovated. Dear diary, what do you think?

What if they ask me about my friends? Now they all want to know if we have friends from other schools, other races and all that. I only know Ah Tiong’s son. And that’s only when Ah Tiong picks me up from school and swings over to pick him up as well. That silly boy really likes Dad’s Merc. I keep telling him my Dad’s other car is a Ferrari. But he doesn’t understand what I’m saying…
So how? Ah Tiong’s son and who else? Can I count Ali’s daughter? I’ve seen her once or twice when she comes with Ali to do the garden. I better go find out her name…

Sheesh, this is silly. I should just say all of my friends are from my school and, just to be safe, blame the school system for not giving me “an opportunity to interact with students of other schools and other races’’. That’s a good quote I think. The school system, education system is a real good scapegoat these days. Can blame it for everything.

Must be careful not to appear elitist. Dad says must be humble. So I’ll just do an Oscar awards ceremony and thank everybody for making me what I am today. Ah! Another good quote. Must remember to use… Must also remember to thank Maria and Lucia. Will be a good touch to remember the maids. Or you don’t think so?

What if they ask if I’ve got tuition and all that? Should I say I have tuition every day and my five tutors are already preparing me for secondary school O levels? Maybe it will be good to show how concerned my parents are about my education. Or maybe not. People will say Dad and Mom are stressing out the other parents. Should also not say I can speak five languages, including Japanese which I picked up from that immersion programme in Tokyo. Cost a bomb but Dad say better go since everyone in class is… Hmm…better to throw in a few Hokkien phrases when they speak to me. Better find Grandma and ask her how to say in Hokkien that “I’m not smart. I am just hardworking’’.

This is very stressful. Maybe I won’t be top student. Then I won’t have to answer all these questions. I wish I was born poor and stupid.

http://berthahenson.wordpress.com/2012/11/20/preparing-for-psle-results/

[schweppes]

Taken from Bertha Henson's blog


Preparing for PSLE results Part 2

In News Reports, Society on November 21, 2012 at 12:34 am
Diary of a wimpy kid (from a top school) Nov 21

Hey, looks like I don’t have to worry about the newspaper people anymore! The ministry isn’t giving out the name-list of top scorers! Phew!

Mom and Dad aren’t too pleased about it though. They think the best students deserve some sort of recognition. I mean, they were top scorers too in their days. Dad was even a President’s scholar! They said it was nice to be in the spotlight. Also they could thank the people who helped them study. Dad even gave out a whole list of study tips to the newspapers! Mom said the newspaper published a photograph of her and her form teacher and Mrs Tan was so happy she had the article and picture framed and put up in the teachers’ lounge.

I wonder if my principal will announce the names of top scorers at least at some school assembly. Last year, we all went wooooah when the names of scorers were announced. So proud of our school! Almost as good when they announced that we won rugby, table-tennis and ballet! You know, if the newspaper people find me (I think Grandma is going to call them…news tip you know..) I will ask to be photographed with Mom, Dad, Grandma, my form teacher, my five private tutors, Maria, Lucia, Ah Tiong and Ali…But I don’t think it’s going to happen because I am reading about principals and teachers saying it’s a good thing. I suppose they don’t want to go against ministry policy and some code of conduct for teachers they have. Maybe they are not even allowed to pin up the names on the school notice board…

Sigh.

You know, even if I don’t get my name in the newspaper, maybe I will get an LKY award – then they HAVE to publish my name. Can’t offend the former Prime Minister right? I mean, is the ministry going to say: We have two winners for the LKY award but because we don’t want to emphasise academic results, we are not naming them.

You know, studying is what I am good at, but I think I had better take up some sport and be sportsman and win at some national schools championship. That’s clearly brawn. Like PSLE is clearly brain. Nobody minds schools and students that top the sports table. I better work on my golf handicap..

I think secondary school will be quite “relaxed’’ now. Everybody’s talking about a more relaxed school system. Maybe Mom and Dad will relax too…At least I don’t have to study for O levels, just A levels. In any case, no more secondary school O level ranking – not that my new school was a part of it. That O level ranking was actually meaningless for some years because so many top schools not even on it after the IP schools started! I can imagine how the IP schools sniffed at the old school ranking…Hah. What’s the big deal? It doesn’t really measure excellence…

Anyway, I’m glad I don’t even have to worry about taking part in this Singapore Youth Festival. No point. No award. Yay! I play the piano, the violin and the er hu quite well, you know. Now, I can just play for fun. Unless the principal forces me to join the SYF because the school wants to get picked for the Singapore Arts Festival. Must ask piano, violin and er hu tutors what to do then….

Dear diary, I am secretly hoping that I will be this year’s top student. But if I am, I might have to keep it a secret. Everybody else will ask me though. What should I tell them? I think I’ll just say I’m stupid.


http://berthahenson.wordpress.com/2012/11/21/preparing-for-psle-results-part-2/

[schweppes]

Part 3 taken from Bertha Henson's blog.


Preparing for PSLE results Part 3

In News Reports, Society on November 23, 2012 at 2:11 am
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (from a top school) Nov 23

Dear diary, I want to make an announcement. The top PSLE student is Wee Im Pee. Me! Me! Do you hear that? I can’t believe those newspaper people didn’t get their facts right. The top score isn’t 285. It’s 285.5. And that’s ME!

We were all very upset that my principal didn’t want to make any announcement yesterday. He locked me in the toilet and kept Mom and Dad in his office when the newspaper people came to the school. Grandma ran to talk to one reporter but she tripped. So now she’s in A&E. The newspaper people took a lot of pictures of her. She tried to tell them why she was there but none of them understood Hokkien.

So I had to sit on the toilet bowl for hours, reading and re-reading my PSLE results. I’m just glad that I beat Tee Yi and Chong Ming. These Chinese students study so hard that Dad was actually going to stop me from using my iPad. He thought I was playing online games! I was actually taking a Stanford University online course. You know, those free ones. He saw, then said, Ok, good boy.

So here is another announcement: The top PSLE student is… SINGAPOREAN! Yay!

Anyway, I looked at all the newspapers today and there’s no picture of me….Looks like most principals are scared of MOE. Except that Yishun principal in The New Paper. But the school’s top scorer only had 275 points! Okay, he’s also the head prefect and has some Eagle award. I suppose that’s part of this holistic and wholesome achievement that the G wants publicised.

But it’s not fair! I wanted to join the prefectorial board but my five private tutors said not to waste time. Also, a prefect has to “catch’’ bad boys and Mom and Dad didn’t think I should be involved with “bad elements’’. So I only became a class monitor.

You know, diary, there was this boy who said in The Straits Times that he wants to go to RI but was worried because it’s a school for “rich kids’’. Really? I never thought so. I mean, I would fit right in and my Dad only owns a Merc and a Ferrari.

My advice: Come on! Don’t be a wimp! Just go to RI! So many kids there with Very Important Parents. Very good to know them! Good for your future, so Dad says. Never mind if you take public transport to school, try to make friends with someone who gets driven to school. Oh, I forgot. Maybe you live in HDB. Not near anyone who has a car and driver…Anyway, I’m sure you will make plenty of friends. They will want to know what living in a HDB flat is like and whether public transport is really so bad. They will see it as broadening their “educational horizons’’.

Anyway, I’m just jealous that you got into the newspapers and I didn’t. Even Grandma didn’t get her picture in.

http://berthahenson.wordpress.com/2012/11/23/preparing-for-psle-results-part-3/

[concern2]

Thanks for sharing, schweppes, had a good laugh!

[concern2]

Lilac66:

jtoh:

Singaporeans are so obedient. Yes, the slippery slope down to the land of mediocrity.

Haha my sentiments too...

I don't get it. To me, such obedience can only be 2 extremes - too much reliance on books and taking orders, and ignorance.

[octoberbaby]

Reporters are obedient too. what happened if they publish? court case?

[concern2]

octoberbaby:

Reporters are obedient too. what happened if they publish? court case?

There is a word called \"Professionalism\".

[schweppes]

Hmm... publish or punish :scratchhead: :siam:


:censored:

[concern2]

concern2:

octoberbaby:

Reporters are obedient too. what happened if they publish? court case?

There is a word called \"Professionalism\".

Sorry, that seems to come out wrong...

You work for a company, you follow their rules, right? Too bad rules in Singapore are different, newspapers company rules not set by the company... Or it is set by the company that is not set by the company.... Oooops... did I get it wrong again? :siam:

[3Boys]

Funz:

octoberbaby:

think there are 3 top scorers? could be one of them is not SG kid

Why this obsession whether the top scorer is a singaporean or not? Do they sit for different papers, are they subjected to different scoring systems?

How about New Singaporeans vs Old Singaporeans vs Ancient Singaporeans....