The Big Caning Poll

[Neosan60]

i used to cane both DS before, but slowly i reduced to just using the cane as a threat since i feel that they have all grown up and more mature.

[pokomummy]

aurorin:

I vote 'No'...


It's a personal belief that any use of \"violence\" (by that I mean inflicting physical pain or using the threat of physical pain) should not be a solution to any problems. That includes disciplining children.

Several other beliefs such as being unconvinced of the efficacy of such methods, possible negative consequences like unintended injuries, modeling undesired conflict resolution methods makes it hard for me to accept using caning (or other forms of corporal punishment) as a way to discipline a child.

I believe consistent discipline can be achieved without it... So far so good.. DD is turning 4 and i am happy with how she is growing up. Looking at how she behaves with us or with others, no one believes she has never had a cane or hand laid on her.. Either that, they think she was born an angel (which I hardly thinks so)... So sparing the rod, doesn't necessary means spoiling the child.

Me too!!! I voted NO. I sure heartpain if I have to resort to caning to discipline my children. I rather punish them in other ways, like no TV for a week! :boogie:

[Little Pudding]

pokomummy:

aurorin:

I vote 'No'...


It's a personal belief that any use of \"violence\" (by that I mean inflicting physical pain or using the threat of physical pain) should not be a solution to any problems. That includes disciplining children.

Several other beliefs such as being unconvinced of the efficacy of such methods, possible negative consequences like unintended injuries, modeling undesired conflict resolution methods makes it hard for me to accept using caning (or other forms of corporal punishment) as a way to discipline a child.

I believe consistent discipline can be achieved without it... So far so good.. DD is turning 4 and i am happy with how she is growing up. Looking at how she behaves with us or with others, no one believes she has never had a cane or hand laid on her.. Either that, they think she was born an angel (which I hardly thinks so)... So sparing the rod, doesn't necessary means spoiling the child.

Me too!!! I voted NO. I sure heartpain if I have to resort to caning to discipline my children. I rather punish them in other ways, like no TV for a week! :boogie:

Yea i agree the No tv options will be a better choice then canning... But any tips for kids throwing tantrums in public Eg. shouting , running around , rolling on the floor crying.

Some say just ignore and let them know they wont get any attention out of crying or rolling on floor.

[Little Pudding]

slmkhoo:

Little Pudding:

Yea i agree the No tv options will be a better choice then canning... But any tips for kids throwing tantrums in public Eg. shouting , running around , rolling on the floor crying.


Some say just ignore and let them know they wont get any attention out of crying or rolling on floor.

At home, I would totally ignore tantrums. However, in public places, I found that I couldn't do the same for reasons of safety, hygiene or causing public nuisance! What I would do would be to bring my child to a relatively secluded area - behind a pillar, a corridor offshoot or even outside somewhere, put the child there and tell her that I would be a few steps away and to come to me when she had finished her tantrum. I would stay near enough to make sure that she was safe, but refuse to interact with her or pander to her. Since my kids were used to the fact that tantrums never worked at home, they usually didn't prolong a tantrum outside either. Also, since I knew what was likely to set off a tantrum, I would try to pre-empt them - state length of shopping time and other conditions in advance, make sure the kids weren't too hungry or tired, have a treat or something to look forward to after a boring period while mummy is doing stuff etc.

Yup, at home its easier to manage tantrums.. i just ignore and walk away.

My son (coming 2 yrs) has a bad habit of banging his head on the floor if we ignore so i still need to monitor the condition. The doc says this is normal and will pass after 3 years old.

It's kind of embarrasing in public with everyone watching. But thanks for your advice, i will give it a try

[Chucksta]

Is it just me, or is it getting harder to buy punishment canes these days?


Our kids hid all the canes and when my wife finally found them, they were all snapped!

[ruohoo97]

For me, facing the noisiest ,most quarrelsome five children at home, cane works wonders. I believe the rod of correction chase away the foolishness of children. I do confess I did cane them in anger occasionally which I regretted. As they children grow older, caning becomes less and less. But for my mischievous four year old, one word " where is my cane?" Will stop her nonsense… Well for a while.

[Harlequin]

I am old-school and very cina; so, I do!

Did it a few times on their little palms, but my heart was bleeding badly. I felt more pain than them! (I am sorry, girl; forgive me.)

[gremlin_loh]

Feel exactly the same, could not get over the guilt when I use to spank my boys. Also feel like a "big bully" since they are smaller sized and cannot retaliate. These days I just leave it to my wife to discipline, she uses the soft approach (more lecturing than physical punishment). Have to admit that her approach seems better.


When I was younger i used to get whacked by my mother upside down. I realised that I did not actually appreciate it as for my own good, I have actually grown to resent her and we have not talked in years. Somehow Im starting to doubt the traditional way of physical punishment in bringing up kids.

[nanalovescookies]

I do not find caning your child necessary. Although it is a form of discipline, I find that caning your child will lead to your child being even more rebellious against you. It is said that if you want the horse to go where you want it to, you have to loosen the reins. To me, what I do when my child is defiant is that I just talk to them nicely and lead them in a compromise. This way, everyone will be happy with the things both of you think is right. There is no use getting worked up over them, as they will be angry with you too if you start flaring up at them.


Hope this has been helpful :imcool:

[Imami]

Harlequin:

I am old-school and very cina; so, I do!

Did it a few times on their little palms, but my heart was bleeding badly. I felt more pain than them! (I am sorry, girl; forgive me.)

哎呀，你比她们还痛 then 你打干嘛？

I don't cane my kid. Until recently, he doesn't know what is a cane nor it's purpose. The one he saw at in laws' place was for his cousin and he thought that was his cousin's new fishing rod.

I do smack my kid though, I just don't use a weapon (if cane is considered a weapon).