All About Autism

[mashy]

nugget:

Mashy, his eipic teachers mention he will need to do abstract and creative thinking in mainstream but he is not there yet.


He need to be able to response and end a conversation with friend nicely... He is also not there yet. .

Also I am teaching maths, 5 + 1 using toy apples, he dun want to pay attention...

Eipic teacher say got to break down tasks for my boy then he will find it easier to do... I wonder in mainstream environment, there is no one to break down for him in class....

Worry worry .... But I won't give up. 3 months ago my son always need to be fed at dinner... Today he will self feed himself. Son just need more time and I shld be more patience.

Before my son started p1, he also couldn't do any of those u mentioned. He doesn't talk much to his friends. Also no response let alone end the conversation well. He also doesn't pay attention when I try to teach him. His k2 teachers said he wandered in class and didn't do his work but when they ask him, he could answer. And when they sing songs with action, he was somewhere else, not paying attention. But he would suddenly sing the song out of the blue with the actions on a separate day.

I found that a lot of these changed when he started primary school. At first it was difficult, but it really got better. Now he has friends that he responds to and can finish up work given by the teachers.

So don't be discouraged by what the therapists said. Just make sure he can read and understand numerals. I think he will get by when the time comes. And even if later decide that pathlight is still a more suitable place, u can still change. Just remember when choosing his school, get one with good AED support. They can then assign assistant teachers to help in the class. There are 2 autistic boys in my boy's class incl him and both are doing very well.

[mashy]

Abstract and creative thinking? So abstract… Hahahaa. My son also doesn’t think creatively. No issues so far. When he was supposed to write about his favourite dish, he went to list the ingredients needed to make the dish. Hahaha.

[mashy]

nugget:

Do u all believe Mmr vaccine causes ASD? I know it's not proven but somehow I feel my son is affected by it. His behavior changes after Mmr.

Not mine. Mine was already quirky before that. In fact, I delayed his MMR till quite late coz he was always sick.

[tabgha]

helplessmum3:

Rainbow school bus schedule is not suitable. So I hav to take time off to send n fetch my son from rainbow on mon to wed.

can u and your hubby take turns to send your ds to rainbow? You can take 2 days and he takes 1 day. Share the workload.

helplessmum3:

Very tiring so I'm thinking to change to another eipic centre that near to my son childcare centre.

If u have to change centres due to logistic reasons and convenience, then make sure that that is the reason for the change. But please DON'T change centres just because you think that Rainbow is not good for your child. That's making excuses.

helplessmum3:

I feel that rainbow did not have thier considerate for caregiver ..

Don't expect pity from others.

I know it's not easy to juggle so many things - work, being a mom, being a wife... But if you have to do it, you have to do it. Get a water bottle and pack or buy simple snacks. Can be little things like biscuits, bread, pao - food items that are suitable for young children. So nothing too sugary and salty.

helplessmum3:

I join class 3 days I not really confortable .. I duno ..

What are you not comfortable about? You must give the centre time to teach your child. And you must give your child time to learn. Too much of a chop and change is not good for a child. Too much changes become unsettling.

When you give up so easily, what message are you sending your child? Do you want him to give up easily in life too?

[tabgha]

Here are recent testimonies of mothers who don't give up. For all the tears, worries, struggle and pain, these are the mothers who dig deep within themselves to find the strength to help their kids improve and overcome their challenges.


So, don't give up, Helplessmum. There is much joy and hope to look forward to.

nugget:

Worry worry .... But I won't give up. 3 months ago my son always need to be fed at dinner... Today he will self feed himself. Son just need more time and I shld be more patience.

mashy:

Before my son started p1, he also couldn't do any of those u mentioned. He doesn't talk much to his friends. Also no response let alone end the conversation well. He also doesn't pay attention when I try to teach him. His k2 teachers said he wandered in class and didn't do his work but when they ask him, he could answer. And when they sing songs with action, he was somewhere else, not paying attention. But he would suddenly sing the song out of the blue with the actions on a separate day.

I found that a lot of these changed when he started primary school. At first it was difficult, but it really got better. Now he has friends that he responds to and can finish up work given by the teachers.

specialboymum:

So now, I'm trying to tell myself, not to get upset with unpleasant comments and don't have the expectation that people will be kind to our kids. I will just focus on doing my part to bring him up properly, help him to learn integrating with the NT so that people are more willing to accept him

slmkhoo:

Whatever the outcome, nothing actually changes. You child will be the same, and your responsibilities as a parent will be the same. Look at it from that perspective, and the stress will be less.

ImMeeMee:

Yes, whatever the outcome, she will always be the doter that I love. My support for her will remain and continue. Just that, sometimes the weakness in me does get the better and my thoughts start to stray.

Must stay firmly grounded ...

[ImMeeMee]

helplessmum3:

Imeemee ,

Rainbow school bus schedule is not suitable. So I hav to take time off to send n fetch my son from rainbow on mon to wed.

Very tiring so I'm thinking to change to another eipic centre that near to my son childcare centre.

I feel that rainbow did not have thier considerate for caregiver ..

I join class 3 days I not really confortable .. I duno ..

Helplessmum, notwithstanding the logistics issues, since you are not able to pinpoint the issues at the school after observing class for 3 days, then perhaps you should give yourself more time to observe and be clear on the issues that are causing you to make a decision one way or another.

As for logistics issues, I think we all have to go through some adaptation when we start something new. I was getting very tired too having to rush from work to fetch my doter from her EIPIC school back home, then after lunch send her to her afternoon mainstream CC and back in the evening. Its only now that I am starting to get used to the momentum.

Perhaps you may like to think hard about what are your priorities, and what are the things that you can make do with. Maybe that could help you make decisions on how to move forward. Having a special needs child calls for a lot of mental strength whether you like it or not, and with mental strength a lot of other problems can be overcome. Life can be tough but its not impossible.

My two cents worth.

[tabgha]

Er... Helplessmum... if I may suggest, maybe it might be a good idea to change your KSP nickname. Don't call yourself \"Helplessmum\". It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, meaning, if you call yourself helpless, you will always think and behave helpless. :gloomy:


Maybe, with the lunar new year coming up, good to change the fortunes. Call yourself \"Hopefulmum\" or a more positive nic? Then you will always BE hopeful, :rahrah: instead of feeling helpless.

U can send a personal message to Chief Kiasu to request that he changes your nickname if you wish.

[ImMeeMee]

nugget:

ImMeeMee,
No doubt about it. We love our ASD kids so much that's why we worry so much in the first place. I think its normal to get jitters. For me, my turn will be in May/June. But no matter what outcome, I still want him to lead a normal educational life. Go P1, if he cannot make it, then we will queue up to go pathlight.

Nugget, I have seen quite a few posts from you questioning yourself about your decisions on your son's school placement. At the risk of being seen at imposing, I thought to give my two cents worth in this.

My rule of thumb is to always try to hear our inner voice, or fall back on your gut feel. If the voice starts to get louder, then maybe its time to review strategies. There will always be noise everywhere pulling us in different directions, but we ourselves need to be convinced on what we do. It's never too late to make changes where changes need to be made.

I think you have made a decision to let your son go mainstream, and that has always sounded firm in your posts. But therapists and teachers tell you that your son is not ready in certain areas, and that becomes your biggest worry. How about tweaking it a little, aim for mainstream but defer for one year? In that way, there is more time to build on certain areas, but the outcome remains the same. And if I am not wrong, your son is a year end baby? Then the one year deferment would not have as big an impact.

Hope you dont mind me giving the above suggestion. I still believe that parents would be in the best position to make the final decision, its just that I think our companionship at this forum is worth this mention.

[ammonite]

nugget:

Do u all believe Mmr vaccine causes ASD? I know it's not proven but somehow I feel my son is affected by it. His behavior changes after Mmr.

Nugget,
I am sure you know all about the controversy already. I can only say that my son also had a reaction, but not to MMR, it was to the DTaP. He declined over a few days and became very limp and dull. At one point, he could not even support himself in a sitting position and he was way ahead of the developmental chart before that. Fortunately he recovered after one week. He was subsequently found to have various allergies, but I think we will never know if it is a chicken or egg situation. We have halted all his vaccinations and he will only be taking the measle shot for primary school. My elder child is fully vaccinated, but this one... Just don't dare with all his reactions.

[nugget]

mashy, Slmkhoo, ImMeeMee,


Thanks for your views. I know that I wanted my son to go mainstream next year cos I find that he is ready. He can read, his penmanship has improved a lot after whole month of me writing with him… Although he doesnt pay attention in class, but he doesn’t anyhow run away or disturb people (teachers feed back he is always a very nice kid but just dun pay attention or walk around sometimes).

However maybe slmkhoo is right, if he can do whatever I have listed in my previous post, then he will be better than normal kid already.

Deep down I know I wanted him to go mainstream cos I feel he is ready. But I cant help but worry endlessly… but my sister advise me to learn to let go. She say I am over protective already. Let them grow and learn but make sure the environment is safe.

ImMeeMee, I understand where you are coming from, no doubt deferring one year will make him more mature and ready, but I feel another year in his current K2 will not help him much. His current K2 chinese teacher said "Your son is left handed, I dunno how to hold his hand and write with him cos I am right handed".
All his chinese work in K2 is not done at all… Cos the teachers just dun hv bandwidth and its unreasonable for me to ask them to. They are the mainstream CC and very short handed already. The Primary school that I be enrolling my son has taken care of ASD kids (I seen it myself cos I am volunteering at the school). One of their AED teacher also keep telling me not to worry, my son will be taken care of. That is why I am putting him into mainstream next year. If really he cannot cope, then I dun mind waiting to sign him up for pathlight.

But it just gets to me that everytime I am firm about sending him mainstream, the therapist just come and tell me "he is not ready for this , not ready for that…". So makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing or not.

Anyway I hope my son will be like Mashy’s… everything will get better once he entered into P1. I have faith it will be as well. My son keep telling me he wanted to go Primary 1, he say he is big boy already. One day he will grow as tall as daddy and is taller than mummy. brings a smile to my face