All About Autism
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Er... Helplessmum... if I may suggest, maybe it might be a good idea to change your KSP nickname. Don't call yourself \"Helplessmum\". It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, meaning, if you call yourself helpless, you will always think and behave helpless. :gloomy:
Maybe, with the lunar new year coming up, good to change the fortunes. Call yourself \"Hopefulmum\" or a more positive nic?
Then you will always BE hopeful, :rahrah: instead of feeling helpless.
U can send a personal message to Chief Kiasu to request that he changes your nickname if you wish. -
nugget:
Nugget, I have seen quite a few posts from you questioning yourself about your decisions on your son's school placement. At the risk of being seen at imposing, I thought to give my two cents worth in this.
ImMeeMee,
No doubt about it. We love our ASD kids so much that's why we worry so much in the first place. I think its normal to get jitters. For me, my turn will be in May/June. But no matter what outcome, I still want him to lead a normal educational life. Go P1, if he cannot make it, then we will queue up to go pathlight.
My rule of thumb is to always try to hear our inner voice, or fall back on your gut feel. If the voice starts to get louder, then maybe its time to review strategies. There will always be noise everywhere pulling us in different directions, but we ourselves need to be convinced on what we do. It's never too late to make changes where changes need to be made.
I think you have made a decision to let your son go mainstream, and that has always sounded firm in your posts. But therapists and teachers tell you that your son is not ready in certain areas, and that becomes your biggest worry. How about tweaking it a little, aim for mainstream but defer for one year? In that way, there is more time to build on certain areas, but the outcome remains the same. And if I am not wrong, your son is a year end baby? Then the one year deferment would not have as big an impact.
Hope you dont mind me giving the above suggestion. I still believe that parents would be in the best position to make the final decision, its just that I think our companionship at this forum is worth this mention. -
nugget:
Do u all believe Mmr vaccine causes ASD? I know it's not proven but somehow I feel my son is affected by it. His behavior changes after Mmr.
Nugget,
I am sure you know all about the controversy already. I can only say that my son also had a reaction, but not to MMR, it was to the DTaP. He declined over a few days and became very limp and dull. At one point, he could not even support himself in a sitting position and he was way ahead of the developmental chart before that. Fortunately he recovered after one week. He was subsequently found to have various allergies, but I think we will never know if it is a chicken or egg situation. We have halted all his vaccinations and he will only be taking the measle shot for primary school. My elder child is fully vaccinated, but this one... Just don't dare with all his reactions. -
mashy, Slmkhoo, ImMeeMee,
Thanks for your views. I know that I wanted my son to go mainstream next year cos I find that he is ready. He can read, his penmanship has improved a lot after whole month of me writing with him… Although he doesnt pay attention in class, but he doesn’t anyhow run away or disturb people (teachers feed back he is always a very nice kid but just dun pay attention or walk around sometimes).
However maybe slmkhoo is right, if he can do whatever I have listed in my previous post, then he will be better than normal kid already.
Deep down I know I wanted him to go mainstream cos I feel he is ready. But I cant help but worry endlessly… but my sister advise me to learn to let go. She say I am over protective already. Let them grow and learn but make sure the environment is safe.
ImMeeMee, I understand where you are coming from, no doubt deferring one year will make him more mature and ready, but I feel another year in his current K2 will not help him much. His current K2 chinese teacher said "Your son is left handed, I dunno how to hold his hand and write with him cos I am right handed".
All his chinese work in K2 is not done at all… Cos the teachers just dun hv bandwidth and its unreasonable for me to ask them to. They are the mainstream CC and very short handed already. The Primary school that I be enrolling my son has taken care of ASD kids (I seen it myself cos I am volunteering at the school). One of their AED teacher also keep telling me not to worry, my son will be taken care of. That is why I am putting him into mainstream next year. If really he cannot cope, then I dun mind waiting to sign him up for pathlight.
But it just gets to me that everytime I am firm about sending him mainstream, the therapist just come and tell me "he is not ready for this , not ready for that…". So makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing or not.
Anyway I hope my son will be like Mashy’s… everything will get better once he entered into P1. I have faith it will be as well. My son keep telling me he wanted to go Primary 1, he say he is big boy already. One day he will grow as tall as daddy and is taller than mummy. brings a smile to my face -
ammonite, Slmkhoo,
I can swear that my boy changed after MMR. Maybe is coincidence or what (Cos MMR is taken abt 18 months - 24 months that time). Cos he is my first born, I keep tracking his progress with the book. He smiles, respond to his name, meet all the physical milestones in written in the book. Can called papa, mama, and many words by 15 months… Hence we really have no clue he is has ASD.
Only after MMR and entering into school (cos he was constantly crying) and until 3.5 years old then teacher tell us he is showing some developmental problem.
We keep referring back and wonder how can we missed it cos we are always cross referencing back to the baby book for his milestones. Hb and me feel somemore maybe the MMR causes it.
I am saying this bcos I have a new born… I am thinking of delaying his MMR shots as well. I am really afraid. -
nugget:
By all means, delay it if that helps settle your mind. I've delayed MMR for both my kids. Even for my no 2, it was so late they sent me a reminder letter. Lol.if not, take individual shots. U don't have to take all together.ammonite, Slmkhoo,
I can swear that my boy changed after MMR. Maybe is coincidence or what (Cos MMR is taken abt 18 months - 24 months that time). Cos he is my first born, I keep tracking his progress with the book. He smiles, respond to his name, meet all the physical milestones in written in the book. Can called papa, mama, and many words by 15 months... Hence we really have no clue he is has ASD.
Only after MMR and entering into school (cos he was constantly crying) and until 3.5 years old then teacher tell us he is showing some developmental problem.
We keep referring back and wonder how can we missed it cos we are always cross referencing back to the baby book for his milestones. Hb and me feel somemore maybe the MMR causes it.
I am saying this bcos I have a new born... I am thinking of delaying his MMR shots as well. I am really afraid. -
nugget:
Agree that kindy teachers aren't equipped to teach special needs children. Some of the mainstream primary school teachers are special needs trained.mashy, Slmkhoo, ImMeeMee,
Thanks for your views. I know that I wanted my son to go mainstream next year cos I find that he is ready. He can read, his penmanship has improved a lot after whole month of me writing with him... Although he doesnt pay attention in class, but he doesn't anyhow run away or disturb people (teachers feed back he is always a very nice kid but just dun pay attention or walk around sometimes).
However maybe slmkhoo is right, if he can do whatever I have listed in my previous post, then he will be better than normal kid already.
Deep down I know I wanted him to go mainstream cos I feel he is ready. But I cant help but worry endlessly... but my sister advise me to learn to let go. She say I am over protective already. Let them grow and learn but make sure the environment is safe.
ImMeeMee, I understand where you are coming from, no doubt deferring one year will make him more mature and ready, but I feel another year in his current K2 will not help him much. His current K2 chinese teacher said \"Your son is left handed, I dunno how to hold his hand and write with him cos I am right handed\".
All his chinese work in K2 is not done at all... Cos the teachers just dun hv bandwidth and its unreasonable for me to ask them to. They are the mainstream CC and very short handed already. The Primary school that I be enrolling my son has taken care of ASD kids (I seen it myself cos I am volunteering at the school). One of their AED teacher also keep telling me not to worry, my son will be taken care of. That is why I am putting him into mainstream next year. If really he cannot cope, then I dun mind waiting to sign him up for pathlight.
But it just gets to me that everytime I am firm about sending him mainstream, the therapist just come and tell me \"he is not ready for this , not ready for that...\". So makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing or not.
Anyway I hope my son will be like Mashy's... everything will get better once he entered into P1. I have faith it will be as well. My son keep telling me he wanted to go Primary 1, he say he is big boy already. One day he will grow as tall as daddy and is taller than mummy. *brings a smile to my face*
He doesn't need to be fully ready to be ready for primary school. If that's the case, there are a lot of NT kids who aren't ready for school too. There are many kids so went to school without knowing the alphabet, don't know how to count etc. and it's not a crime not wanting to make friends. If he can make friends, wonderful. If not, it's fine too.
My son's kindy work also came back not done. He didn't want to do any of that. Now that he is in primary school, he is really making progress.
Although he still lost a lot of things and is absent minded. Sigh. Already lost 3 water bottles this year! And it's barely Feb. but I read that NT kids do that often too. ESP boys. -
Hi Nugget,
My view is just go with what your heart tell you. I think you are mentally prepared for all the challenges you may face, so just go for it. After a year dealing with my kid’s teacher, I gathered they would not mind special needs kid in their class, as long as we show that we are all ready to cooperate and provide additional support to help our child in their learning, instead of relying totally on the teachers.
Just to share with you a comment I heard from another parent whose kid is in rainbow. She said that the special school will not agree that our kids are suitable for mainstream unless they prove to be more normal than normal kids. -
Hi windie
Was wondering if you can share more about the support your child receive in his mainstream school? particularly from the AED lbs. I’m considering the same school for my ds. -
nugget:
Nugget, as long as you have clarity, I will feel happy for you.mashy, Slmkhoo, ImMeeMee,
Thanks for your views. I know that I wanted my son to go mainstream next year cos I find that he is ready. He can read, his penmanship has improved a lot after whole month of me writing with him... Although he doesnt pay attention in class, but he doesn't anyhow run away or disturb people (teachers feed back he is always a very nice kid but just dun pay attention or walk around sometimes).
However maybe slmkhoo is right, if he can do whatever I have listed in my previous post, then he will be better than normal kid already.
Deep down I know I wanted him to go mainstream cos I feel he is ready. But I cant help but worry endlessly... but my sister advise me to learn to let go. She say I am over protective already. Let them grow and learn but make sure the environment is safe.
ImMeeMee, I understand where you are coming from, no doubt deferring one year will make him more mature and ready, but I feel another year in his current K2 will not help him much. His current K2 chinese teacher said \"Your son is left handed, I dunno how to hold his hand and write with him cos I am right handed\".
All his chinese work in K2 is not done at all... Cos the teachers just dun hv bandwidth and its unreasonable for me to ask them to. They are the mainstream CC and very short handed already. The Primary school that I be enrolling my son has taken care of ASD kids (I seen it myself cos I am volunteering at the school). One of their AED teacher also keep telling me not to worry, my son will be taken care of. That is why I am putting him into mainstream next year. If really he cannot cope, then I dun mind waiting to sign him up for pathlight.
But it just gets to me that everytime I am firm about sending him mainstream, the therapist just come and tell me \"he is not ready for this , not ready for that...\". So makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing or not.
Anyway I hope my son will be like Mashy's... everything will get better once he entered into P1. I have faith it will be as well. My son keep telling me he wanted to go Primary 1, he say he is big boy already. One day he will grow as tall as daddy and is taller than mummy. *brings a smile to my face*
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