Many ways of developing our children

[Happy Parents]

Hi,


My wife and I recently got into a subtle "conflict" with her parents on the way we bring up our daughters (ages 12, 10 and 3).

Their version of good up bringing is to ensure the children undergo the best tuition so as to be ahead of others (they believe it will help the children survive in the challenging world). The children should also be "chauffeured" around to save time and to avoid be wet in the rain. They should also go for swimming to build up health (we know very well just because their cousin swims and represent the school in competition).

My wife and I have a different view in upbringing our daughters. We encourage them to do their best without overly focus on getting the best marks and being ahead of others. They should learn to accept their failures and understand that there will always be others better than them. As long as they can pass with reasonably good results and get into the right school, my wife and I are satisfied. We trained our eldest daughter to start taking public transport when she was in primary 6. We believe its right time for her to learn independence, responsibility, safety and also to observe the world around her. This will develop her confidence, independence, power of observation and power-solving skills as well. As for health, we do not impose upon her that she must do swimming, but rather pick a physical activity that she is interested in.

There is no right or wrong in the above 2 methods but we feel as parents, we should equip our children in ALL aspects not just the academic portion. Having all As in the report book does not guarantee a smooth and comfortable life. Rather, having the right attitude with humility, being street-smart and realizing your real skills and talents will prepare our children for the challenging world.

I believe there are many other parents with different methods of bringing up their children. Maybe we could share in this forum so that we can learn something from one another.

Cheers!

[tutormum]

I recommend that all kiasu parents watch this video. Though he is a Christian pastor, this particular sermon of his actually touches on how a person can learn. Personally, I find his teachings here is quite true.


[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRu1HaFRODc][/youtube]

[chenSee]

tutormum:

I recommend that all kiasu parents watch this video. Though he is a Christian pastor, this particular sermon of his actually touches on how a person can learn. Personally, I find his teachings here is quite true.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRu1HaFRODc

wow thanks for sharing this..

[em83]

I agree, I think that by focusing on only getting ‘good grades’ to be successful is a scary method, to be honest, especially with the Singapore competitive society. There are definitely more to life than just books. I rather raise my children based on morals and ethics, teach them about life, instead of teaching them to ‘be ahead’ of people. Different perceptions and views I guess?

[toddles]

grandparents tend to want to bubble wrap their grandkids.


if they spend a lot of time caring for yr kids (primary/secondary caregivers) then it’s hard to fight them / hard not to let them have a say.

[christysparkle]

I can see there are definitely some confrontations between my parents and my brother and his wife’s way of raising up their children. And often, well in my case, grandparents create a guilt trip in response to my brother and sis-in-law’s requests. It is definitely hard trying to come up with some truce and agreements on the way to bring up the kids. EVEN TILL NOW -.-

[cheerfulmummy]

Yes, agree with YellowBelt. Our kids must develop good characters and personalities from young. Their future successes do not depend purely on educational results.

[sundaymorning]

tutormum:

I recommend that all kiasu parents watch this video. Though he is a Christian pastor, this particular sermon of his actually touches on how a person can learn. Personally, I find his teachings here is quite true.


[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRu1HaFRODc][/youtube]

Thanks for sharing

[JacqJacq75]

Great video there! thanks for sharing