桃花谈

[toddles]

桃花运is what comes to mind…

[insider]

toddles:

桃花运is what comes to mind...

Like Michael Palmer?? heeheehee...

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I know I have to talk to my sis but at the same time, I know how stubborn she is when come to people wanting to talk to her about raising kids, esp from someone like me who is 6 years her junior. If I dont approach her ultra carefully, she might ask me to shut up the moment she realized I am trying to ‘preach’. I couldn’t figure out the correct ‘breaking-in-angle’ to talk to her, and so I let the matter go to the back of my mind first.

In the meantime, I continued to coax my niece. During one of the meal times, I observed that she was not eating the ketchup prawn dish that was specially prepared for her. I asked her why she wasn’t eating that and she replied, “Errr…coz I don’t know how to peel the prawn shells..” (can die!!) and she continued, “My mum or my sis always peels shells for me when eating prawns.”

I passed her a prawn and I took one myself and got her to follow me to remove the shell. Then I told her I wanted to eat another 5 prawns and she had to remove all the shells for me (if my elder son is around, this chore will be always his). Over the dinner, she practiced the ‘skill’ on over 10 prawns. At the end I asked her, “Was it difficult?” and she smiled and replied, “No lah.”

I carried forward the prawn shell incidence to the night talk (I talked to her every night when she was staying in my house). I wanted her to reflect why her mum doesn’t trust her (and thereby the many restrictions imposing on her) and that her inability to even peel prawn shells is not a very reassuring thing in an adult’s eyes to trust her to go out with friends or to make any more major decisions. She told me “Coz my mum never gives me the chance to do things! Everything she will do for me and so it is not really my fault.”

OK OK, not her fault if my sis really doesn’t give her any housework to do. From next day onwards, I taught her how to mop floor, wash clothes (washing machine), hang clothes, iron clothes, sew buttons, crack eggs, fry simple vegetables, etc. I even demo to her how to clean up a toilet bowl (that she felt so ‘repulsive’ initially but after I told her it’s a ‘skill’ that nobody likes but all girls should know, she attempted reluctantly and felt OK).

I reminded her she is already 18 and must take over some of the house chores, whether her mum needs her to do or not. If she wants her mum to trust her, she may have to prove in these little ways that she can be relied upon and can be trusted. I shared with her that I feel so heart pain for my 50+ sis that she still needs to do ALL the housework despite having two grown up kids (to me, it’s a total failure in her parenting and her two kids are “not automatic”). I empowered her to change herself a bit first then perhaps she can see some changes in her mum. A lot of soft talking going on during those days when she was with me.

Niece was quite receptive in my teachings. She learned the soft skills in my house. She went home and she attempted to do housework, incl of washing the toilet bowl and scrubbing the whole toilet. There came my sis’ thankful sms, asking me what magic I had performed to her daughter that the once-never-lift-a-single-finger girl could go home and started scrubbing toilet after two weeks of staying with me.

Mum and daughter got along very well for the next seven days. After that, conflict and then, niece appearing at my doorstep again…

To be continued… (where I started something that I seldom will do for youngsters – fortune telling...)

[toddles]

wow… that’s a big change you brought about there…

[Nebbermind]

Now I know my kids aren’t pampered at all!

[Imami]

I came in to read becos it's thread started by insider and the subject is 桃花。 as I read on, actually I have totally forgotten about the subject :rotflmao: until insider reminded me..

[insider]

Niece returned to my house for a short stay. She told me about some disagreement with her mum regarding packing of house (they are going to shift house). As the shifting is only around late April, my niece feels there’s no urgent need to pack her things but my sis insisted that no harm packing early and wanted her to pack her stuff. So, argument broke up between the two.


Solving the conflicts between a stubborn sis and a teenage niece is not an one-day affair when both parties standing firm on their feet with the thinking of “I am right and you are wrong”. One of them needs to have a change of mindset first before things get worst.

I thought hard and so decided to do a fortune telling for my niece. I don’t usually do that, not even for my kids, as I feel there’s no need to know one’s future as so what if it’s good and so what if it’s bad? I am always conscious about self-fulfilling prophecy. I believe in living in the best moods and optimising the most of each day in our life (never waste time and energy getting oneself upset, angry, disappointed, etc, that kinds of negative emotions as much as possible). I decided on the fortune telling coz I wanted to see where she will be heading so that maybe I can better plan my strategies to reconcile the set in a more ‘efficient’ method.

I got hold of her birth time (I know her birth date) and started to chart her 紫薇命盘 (Life Plate). As a basic intro to this method, it uses stars to see the character, parents, siblings, career, friends, money, property, movement/mobility, and the overall happiness of a person. There are 14 A Class stars in the system and most people have one of the main stars in their Character Field, and that star = the main traits of that person.

Out of these main stars, some are good/gentle while some are bad/fierce.

When I looked at the overall constellation of her stars (besides these 14 A Class stars, there are numerous other B Class and C Class stars that can hinder or help the A Class stars), I began to frown.

Her main stars (instead of one star, she has two) are the super 桃花 stars among all the stars (there are still some more smaller Class B and C 桃花 stars). Having one is already not so good and having two is really no joke. To make matter worst, all the small 桃花 stars are also reflecting in unfavourable angles towards her main 桃花 stars (meaning 大桃花 + 小桃花 = Double Super 桃花 Life).

I used to think that my niece’s pair of eyes is too pretty for her own good. Watery / Shiny with the edges of the eyes curving up. It has a very 妩媚 kind of beauty that can attract unnecessary men’s attention. As she has been naïve, timid, studious, and ‘guai’ all this while, I didn’t take this observation seriously in my heart. But then as I was reading her stars, I got very worried about her relationship future. This is very much like a 小三命 and her love life is gonna to be very complicated in the future…

To be continued…

PS: I learnt this fortune telling method from a friend who is a student of a student of the famous 王亭之. Picked up as a hobby few years back and have been polishing my reading skills now and then. Seldom use the skills coz as I said, I dont think people should really go and read their fortune unless it’s a 走投无路 kind of situation. My reading skills are not that expert, but enough to give an overall framework of a life (not to the accuracy of each year, each month, or each day).

[insider]

What is a 桃花 (cherry blossom)?


In the minds of most people, it refers to the opposite gender; meaning if one is a male, his 桃花 will be the female and if one is a female, her 桃花 will be the male.

桃花 in general sense refers to meeting someone who is likely to be one’s girlfriend/boyfriend or spouse. So when people teasing one is having 桃花运, it means that someone is well-liked by the opposite gender or have one/many suitor/s.

桃花 has a wider meaning than the general interpretation. It refers to whether someone has ‘opposite gender attraction’ (异性缘), not restricted to only opposite gender that are involved in matters of the heart. Eg, a man well liked in the office by his female boss and colleagues or a woman well liked by her male boss and male colleagues = relatively strong 桃花运.

The number of 桃花 stars shinning directly on a person and the type of 桃花 has the following implications on that person.

For example, for those who are Horses next year will have many 桃花 appearing throughout the year.

For those who are singles, they have a high chance of meeting their 真名天子.

For those who are married, they may meet seduction from 小三 or they become 小三.

Other than that, Horses can meet opposite gender who are coming as 贵人 or 小人.

So when we say ‘got many 桃花 next year’, it means that we have to pay attention to the opposite gender who will be bringing us luck or causing us harm (meaning same gender will not bring us much benefit or doing us harm). Smaller桃花 star implies pregnancy (legitimate or non-legitimate one).

Good 桃花 = 正桃花 – can bring one happiness and luck, can marry, can do business, can bring in money, etc

Bad 桃花 = 烂桃花 – can bring disasters (eg Michael Palmer, etc), can break hearts, can get molested, can 人财两失, can "powdered body crushed bones", etc. I ever wrote a piece on I was molested by a best friend’s brother in law few years back. That was a 烂桃花 that was suddenly shining above me that had attracted this unnecessary attention (I am never a ‘vain’ person and to have experienced someone close molesting at that kind of matured age was something really bizarre).

Super Bad 桃花 – can become prostitutes, can get raped (by strangers or relatives), can murder / kill or be murdered / killed, etc. Men or women having these Super Bad 桃花 may equate high sexual drive, with the men go womanising / raping girls; and women go around sleeping with men (/raping men? heeheehee…)

So 桃花 is not necessary good or bad; it has to depend on which 桃花 star is that and what kind of impact the surrounding stars is casting on the 桃花 star. Heard of 红鸾星动？ Well, 红鸾星 is a 正桃花 star that if it is shining brightly (without other major bad stars hindering) = marriage.

To be continued… (will elaborate more on 桃花 along with my niece’s case)

[ImMeeMee]

精彩 。。。

[SAHM_TAN]

Thank you insider for the explanation. I didn’t know 桃花 has such wide implications. It’s most interesting.

[toddles]

thanks for sharing the whole 来龙去脉。。。waiting for the moral of the story... or learning points (already there are quite a few!)