桃花谈
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I \"kup\" something from dolphinsiah's thread. I think this is very true.
dolphinsiah:
Time to cool my CNY holiday mood...must start to focus important things... :imanangel:
![](\"http://i49.tinypic.com/lvcdy.jpg\")
http://i49.tinypic.com/lvcdy.jpg\">
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Itste=\"Imami\"]
dasalo:
Hahaha Dasalo, we change ‘camp’ liao.Waiting for more stories to come. Thanks insider for sharing all your experiences. At present, this thread attracts most readers, Zzang!
I shall go hunt for the 2004 Korean drama Lotus Flower Fairy by Lee Da Hae.
Btw, do you know the 花仙子kd that insider mentioned? I tried to find but no conclusive result…[/quote]
It's an old drama, 2004 maybe a little difficult to find. I'll post on drama thread once I find it.
:offtopic: Hello, fellow dramas followers, follow me back to K drama thread please don't hog insider's thread leh, we want to hear more stories. -
dasalo:
It's an old drama, 2004 maybe a little difficult to find. I'll post on drama thread once I find it.[/quote]Itste=\"Imami\"]
Hahaha Dasalo, we change ‘camp’ liao.dasalo:
Waiting for more stories to come. Thanks insider for sharing all your experiences. At present, this thread attracts most readers, Zzang!
I shall go hunt for the 2004 Korean drama Lotus Flower Fairy by Lee Da Hae.
Btw, do you know the 花仙子kd that insider mentioned? I tried to find but no conclusive result…
dasalo,
are you referring to this kdrama ?
![](\"http://i50.tinypic.com/vq3b4p.jpg\")
Love to watch the lead actress Lee Da Hae :love: -
Fightingmom, long time no see!
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dasalo:
It's an old drama, 2004 maybe a little difficult to find. I'll post on drama thread once I find it.[/quote]Itste=\"Imami\"]
Hahaha Dasalo, we change ‘camp’ liao.dasalo:
Waiting for more stories to come. Thanks insider for sharing all your experiences. At present, this thread attracts most readers, Zzang!
I shall go hunt for the 2004 Korean drama Lotus Flower Fairy by Lee Da Hae.
Btw, do you know the 花仙子kd that insider mentioned? I tried to find but no conclusive result…
Hokay!
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fightingmom:
:yikes: Fightingmom! Only Korean Drama can jio you back ah!!!
dasalo,
are you referring to this kdrama ?
Love to watch the lead actress Lee Da Hae :love:
Good to see you again!
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Oei…ladies… help me to keep the Qi in this thread by not venturing into small talks… (you know I so particular about 磁场. If the 磁场 can be maintained properly in this thread, then really someone may benefit meaningfully from readings instead of getting mood broken up by some small side talks. Pls help me with this housekeeping…)
谢谢！
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Cont. Conversation with my sis.
I assessed that my niece 慧根不足, her 无明 is too big for her to really understand what I have been trying to tell her.
As said, when someone is in 无明, you can talk until cow comes home that someone also cannot see light (the way my eldest son never knew how to study and what to study until 2 months before his O levels).
So, she is likely to continue with her 牙尖嘴利 with my sis and two will continue to bicker at home.
Though I know my sis is also someone with a large patch of 无明, I have to try. One of the consequences of my try is that she will say I 胡说八道, say I anyhow ‘curse’ her daughter, and then don’t talk to me for a long time. (her temper has been like this since young. When I was about 12, she was about 18. I borrowed her precious camera for my P6 farewell party and lost it in school. She didn’t talk to me for about 6 months even though we stayed in the same house. She took away all my pocket money for months to make up for the lost. I totally understand what kind of temper she has).
Around Christmas, I asked her out for a coffee in Orchard.
At the table, we started with gossiping about my second sis. About how 看不开 she is that even though her three kids are already so big, she still sticks so closely at her house and has never joined us in any travelling before. My second sis seems to always have this idea that her home will collapse if going without her (that’s a big Myth).
Then I started:
Me: Jie, you know when niece was staying with me, I saw her fortune.
Jie: You got her birth time?
Me: Niece gave it to me.
Jie: Oh, I don’t even know unless I refer to her birth cert. So, good or not?
Me: I can tell you what I’ve seen in her Plate and so now I need to talk to you. But I need you to promise me that now you change your position as a friend instead of as your younger sis towards me (remark: I have to try to make her ‘alleviate’ me to the same position as her else it will be more difficult for her to accept my advice. She never really seems to take me like an ‘adult’ even though I am now close to 50; the same way like mum still taking me like a child.)
Jie: Sounds serious…
Me: Ok, now I will start my 讲道.
Me (cont. showing her my niece’s Plate Chart): I will briefly explain to you the meaning of this Plate Chart (then I went on to talk about the good/bad stars and the meaning of each field).
Me (cont): You see, in niece’s Main Field, she has two Super 桃花 stars. Across that Main Field, there are also fierce stars shining on the 桃花 stars. That will mean niece will meet many men, good ones or bad ones, in her life, and that she is unlikely to have a happy marriage.
Jie: I know all this while there have been boys going after her. But you know her, she’s so naïve and sotong and never bothers about those boy’s love letters / messages sent to her. That day while I was packing the house to get ready for shifting, I found a box. When I opened the box, I saw little love notes and gifts that boys sent to her. Such notes dated as early as when she was 13.
Me: All this while, you have been complaining that niece like 长不大, so childish. Now when I look at her stars, I feel this is a blessing in disguise. Niece is protected by some ‘membrane’.
Jie: Huh? Membrane?
Me: You know one of my best friends, XXX (remark: that one who also has super 桃花 stars. All my family members know who my best friends are coz we have been together since age 13). She is a Class I horse when comes to 吊马子. The number of boyfriends she ever had is more than our fingers and toes add together.
All good friends know she just has that ‘charm’. The most fatal part is she knows how to make use of that charm. Her tactics of nailing a guy has reached the stage of like 百发百中. We have been together with her for so long and we know her pattern. From the way she moves her hands, swings her hair, turns her head, wriggles her fingers, blinks her eyes,etc, we will know there’s a target somewhere around. And sure soon after the target will appear to buy her drinks, etc. She is sort of having a PhD in 吊马子 as she knows how to kill men silently without words. Basically, she is a natural 发电厂. (remark: I have been with this friend for so long but I just never even get to learn 0.5% of what she does. At best is she has been my make up artist for all major occasions since young.)
So coming back to niece. From what I see, niece is covered with a ‘membrane’ via her naiveness to blind her from seeing she has this ‘ability’ to charm man; meaning she is yet to discover her ‘power’. But she will discover this power sooner or later. After discovering it, she can either take full control of it or to let the power control her. If she cannot control that power, she may end up to be like XXX.
Jie: <jaw drops> (remark: up to here, I didn’t sense any sign of she rejecting my talk and so I was glad to be able to carry on. If she showed any sign of ‘defiance’, then I might have to stop talking to her coz most parents don’t like to hear negative things about their kids, whether true or untrue； and I definitely know the dire consequences of having to push too much too soon with her).
To be continued… -
Wah lau, like advertisement breaks in the middle of a movie …
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ammonite:
Wah lau, like advertisement breaks in the middle of a movie ...
And it's alway at the Gancheong part too.
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Conversation with my sis Part 2.
Me: So her 长不大now I see it as a blessing in disguise. All this while we have been pondering about how come she is already 18 but still likes Hello Kitty, likes pinkish things, and still enjoys playing hide-and-seek and we have been talking about when then she will 长大. So maybe now we should be glad that she 长不大 for good reasons and you have not been successful in rushing her to grow up.
Me (cont.): Now I can see her super 桃花 stars shining brightly at her. You are the most powerful person who can help her.
Jie: But she doesn’t listen to me at all. She has a strong mind of her own.
Me: Emmm…do you think yourself also have a strong mind of your own?
Jie: <silence>
Me: Think you may have to reflect on her strong mind is an exact mirror of yours and so it ended like two bulls fighting.
Jie: But if she listens to me then I will not be harsh to her.
Me: But if you can bother to keep your cool when she is defiant at times will help her to listen to you.
Jie: She is so young and so naïve. I have to guide her else she may easily get hurt outside. So, I have to set boundary for her to keep her safe. I know she hates the boundary but I cannot ignore her safety. So, you mean I have to let her do whatever she wants. She doesn’t know how dangerous outside world can be and then always acts so 自以为是. I eat salt more than she eats rice!
Me: She is already 18 and I think she entitles to some freedom such as going back before 12 am occasionally instead of have to report home by 8 pm. She has good friends and you need to give her some absolute freedom to mingle with her friends. You know her character and you know her friends. It’s not like she is outside doing drugs.
Jie: But she is a girl! She can be anytime in danger at that kind of hour.
Me: Jie ah, you need to stay more positively when she is out with friends at night. I don’t know about you but so far we know she has been a studious girl and she produced 7 As for her O levels and we can expect good results for this coming A level results release. Overall, she is quite a good girl. Don’t you think she deserves a bit more of your trust to have some ME time occasionally?
Jie: <silent>
Me: You are the one who can help her the most coz both of you are living under the same roof. <then I went on to explain to her about my Seedlings Theory>.
Jie (remark: my sis is a Buddhist by name as she understands very little about Buddhism): <looked a little convinced> But she is my daughter. She gotta be thankful to me for raising her up to now and she still has to depend on me for her university education. If she has a little bit of 良心, she should be more respectful to me. I always remind her don’t be so rude to me coz she still has to depend on me!
Me (paused for 2 seconds to think of how to solve this myth with her>: Jie ah, you may not like to hear this but as parents, it is our responsibility to raise the kids up to when they finish their education. We just take a look at how our parents raised us. Have mum and dad ever told us that we have to be thankful to them coz they raised us up under so difficult conditions? I don’t remember they ever tell us anything like that, not even anything close to that. But we are still very respectful and filial towards them. What made us respectful and filial to them? You think it’s coz we have more 良心？ I don’t think so. I tend to think coz mum always talks to us lovingly whenever she can and it is this love that we are reciprocating automatically.
Me (cont): Parents raising kids is 天职. They didn’t ask to come to this world and it was coz of two people having sexual relationship that formed them. We brought them to this world and so this is a 天职 that we have to provide willingly instead of doing it with expectations.
Jie: This part I cannot agree. We cannot bite the hands that feed us. How can they be so 恩将仇报？
Me: Jie ah, this 天职 part I leave it to you ponder over. You can go and think how how mum and dad raised us up and what made you a filial daughter and maybe you can find the anwer. My take is we bring them to this world and it is our full responsibility to raise them without having to remind them indirectly of their obligations to be polite or filial. These qualities will come from other ways but not from reminders of coz we raise them, they have to be respectful as such reminders will NEVER work.
Jie: If she doesn’t know and if I don’t say, then how could she ever know? These kids you have to keep reminding them else it cannot sink into their heads.
Me: Ok, you wanna to know how to raise respectful and filial kids and now I can share with you the methods instead of using ‘reminders’.
Me (cont): We go back to the Seedlings Theory and you know that by being filial to parents will give a child many positive seeds. But now coz she cannot be respectful to you, she receives some negative seeds. Then you got upset and you scold her, she will kena arrowed with even more negative seeds. The number of negative seeds that she carries will not enable her to open up her 无明 and that will only lead her to fight with you more to get more negative seeds and then you scold her again to cast even more negative seeds and the cycle will go on and on. If you don’t stop this cycle, she may become totally blind and will really go astray coz she will not be guided by any positive light.
Jie: (Face getting tensed. Trying to digest)
Me: I don’t call you out for coffee often. You see these two super 桃花 stars and you know about XXX. All these negative seeds will brighten up these bad stars that really worries me. You see she does have the good stars shining around too but if under so many negative energy, all these good stars will be useless. I am sure you want her to marry a good man and lead a happier life. But her Spouse Field shows a very stubborn man who will control her. Jie ah, I am not sure whether you can see that this Spouse is actually a mirror of you? (at the verge of stepping on landmine).
Jie (surprising didn’t protest): Sigh…but really difficult to stay my cool when she answers me back. You don’t know how bad her tone can be when she talks back to me.
Me: Jie ah, you are her mother and you love her. I know you and brother in law are not getting along well and the kids sometimes have to be sandwiched in between. Don’t you think they are quite poor things to have to be sandwiched in between a mum and a dad. Niece’s defiance comes with reasons. I know you have been working very hard to provide for your two daughters. But kids needs more than money, that they need a positive-energised environment to thrive well and this is something that both of them do not have. I know you are sad yourself but can you also see the sadness in them? We are adults and we can take more hurts squarely. But as kids, do you expect them to have the same strength as us?
Jie <teary>: silence… (remark: I’ve never seen my this super stubborn sis cried before. She is that sort who will rather bite her tongue to die than to cry in front of anyone. Seeing tears is a good sign…)
To be continued.
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