桃花谈

[insider]

Imami:

insider:

PS:
Fengshui can improve the positive Qi of a house / person (and therefore increase the chances of having more good things, incl 贵人) but then it may come with a price that you may not want to pay. This one I try to explain by this weekend...

wah seh.... Standby pop corn Liao! Looking forward to this!

Hello Woman,

Your 心得 leh?

You never pass up homework hor...

Try to contribute some...

[insider]

vinegar:

if one keeps trying for baby n miscarriages,cannot find any medical reason or treatment,shld she 放下 n give up the wish of having a child n move on?Coz 凡事不要太强求, maybe no 缘分 n she shld move on?

Or shld go n 看相 to see the future then decide if shld keep dating or trying fr. kid?

If there’s no medical reasons, then pls don’t 放弃 as long as that woman is still within child bearing age. Can only 放下 when doctor confirms No Chance Liao else should try but then not try until that kind of ‘face green green’ extent.

Without medical health reasons, conception should happen. Just keep a good mood, RELAX, and go make baby.

My first two babies were made through taking hormone pills. My father in law was very kancheong to have a grand son coz he had none at that time. After married for six months, my stomach still got no sound no picture. So I went to a gynae and only took a round of hormone pills and my first child was conceived. My second son also conceived through the same way while third one was an ‘accident’ (coz not really planned).

Pls don’t go fortune telling about this kind of child bearing matter. This one has to listen more to scientific medical advice. Don’t let whatever fortune teller tell you to decide on the fate of an unborn child. He / She is there. Just pray and keep a kind heart. The baby will appear… (go read 了凡四训. At least read the summary version of what I have posted earlier.)

[Imami]

insider:

Imami:

[quote=\"insider\"]
PS:
Fengshui can improve the positive Qi of a house / person (and therefore increase the chances of having more good things, incl 贵人) but then it may come with a price that you may not want to pay. This one I try to explain by this weekend...

wah seh.... Standby pop corn Liao! Looking forward to this!

Hello Woman,

Your 心得 leh?
You never pass up homework hor...
Try to contribute some...[/quote] :rotflmao: oops.

I will probably the the last to pass up my homework. Partly becos these few days very busy and will be busy till mid march. I need a block of time to write. Partly becos I know I will cry buckets as I write. To look back and write is like tearing my wound open again, something which I rather do away...

[insider]

ruohoo97:

Here again, \"seeding theory\"?! My boys are all tender hearted, while my daughter is just like me! I see the urgent need to change myself, so that she will not be like me just I am like my mother (in many bad ways).:(

So thank you Insider, 桃花谈，对我是一个及时的警钟。还有请您多多指教。！

Errr...I will be more worried for your sons then your daughters coz your daughters may have higher chance of marrying men like your husband and your sons marrying people like....YOU!

hahahaha...

Freud's Oedipus Complex sort of also 'validated' part of Seedlings Theory...

So, yes, for the sake of your kids, esp your sons, do change yourself for the better...

PS:
You are so lucky to be protected by your dad away from your mum's bright 桃花. If I am not wrong, you should look charming coz your mum's 桃花 more or less will still rub onto you...

[insider]

Imami:

I will probably the the last to pass up my homework. Partly becos these few days very busy and will be busy till mid march. I need a block of time to write. Partly becos I know I will cry buckets as I write. To look back and write is like tearing my wound open again, something which I rather do away...

As you can read so far, many also carry wounds. Ruohoo's wounds are quite deep too...

Take your time...

[jedamum]

Hi insider,

Thanks for taking the time toreply.
Really open my eyes and mind to think from this fresh point of view.
Lookig forward to feng shui sharing.
.

[insider]

Coolkidsrock2:

My son just asked me today why is it that I cannot stand with him in life.

sorry I don't get this. What did he mean huh?

Coolkidsrock2, don't need to plan anything for them.

Just be good yourself and then they will be good and they will have their own 本事 to 积 their own 福德.

In a sense, don't need to give them fish, you have to teach them how to fish (by being filial / kind) coz this kind of fishing then will last for many generations to come instead of maybe stop short once you pass on...

PS to all readers:

Pardon some of my spelling and grammar mistakes peppered in my writing, esp any piece written in the afternoon (coz I have to steal time to peep here). My dominant language is still Chinese and so Queen's English is not an auto thing to me. I lazy to go check for mistakes and would rather spend time writing hor...

[mummy OnABudget]

Been a silent reader all this while and honestly i have learn alot, i have never forgave my ex for leaving the family.


Never forgave my dad for not being at my mothers death bed when i was 12 he told me he was too busy to come told me a 12 yr old to settle things on my own.

i must thank the lord above though he took away my mum he gave me my granny who brought me up since small, without her endless encoragment i may have always stuck at the hole.

But this yr i dont know where i got the strength to really start to let go the harted towards my daddy i called him up and went to se him as usual normally our cny meeting is silence but this yr was different i made small talk with him and amazingly we even can gossip about some stuff together yes i am still learning to let go totally it will take time alot of it, but i guess this is a very good start.

Whereas for my ex i have totally gave up on him even for the kids sake as even my son has given up on the father he said he will never turn up want la u see he never answer his calls at all and this yr i will not be taking the initative to go down mil side to try to mend i am tired already.

[kaka]

I like to think I have a blessed life. While I "inherited" my mother’s quick temper, I also have her conscientious attitude. I am lucky that I have none of my father boastful, spendthrift character. I have seen them quarrelled all the times since young. It affects me only slightly; I formed the thought that marriage does not mean have to stay together if unhappy. However, I have second thoughts now, seeing them growing old, though still not in good term, their togetherness make our family felt complete. They have also learnt to live in peace.


I married a very "calm" husband who does not argue with me despite my quick temper. I used to get angrier when he kept quiet while I want a "response“。 I have since accepted his "good nature" …haha. My three children are all so different,sometimes I wondered, same food same treatment, why so different… have accepted we are born different, now learnt another term, their 名盘. Recently, I seem to be in my "quick tempered" mode whenever I get involved in the children’s matter… from asking them to stand straight, to tidy their tables, to worrying about their studies and character development. Now I remind myself to 放下 … 儿孙自有儿孙福。I will remind and support them, the rest is up to them.
Another important reminder is for myself … be patient and do more good deeds 积德

[jedamum]

Insider,

You are accurate to point out that I am a kiasu parent.
I feel a sense of unease, when effort has not been put in, maximum effort I mean, to achieve a certain tangible goal like academic. Borderline a workaholic, straining relationship with husband when I was working. Demanding certain expectation from myself, the period of working, part time studying and coping with family was tough as I demanded 100% effort from myself both professionally and academically but expect family to understand my predicament and accept my lesser involvement. Come to think of it, I was somewhat then turning into my dad, and agree that I draw a lot of my life decision , strengths from him. I spent a lot of time as a child listening to his lectures and ‘grandfather’ stories as some one had to tune in when he was in the mood and I didn’t dare to walk away
like my other siblings did.
Another issue I am trying to work out myself is what you wrote about living a life for ourselves and not for our parents. I draw a lot of emotional feelings from these talks from my dad and the part I am still struggling now is the financial part, which my husband is slowly trying to change me. I am a miser(??) wrt expenditure,calculative to a certain extent that I can drive my husband nuts. Stories of the tough childhood my dad lived and witnessing how despair he looked when he lost his job or putting up with nonsense at work just to keep the job, all these stories leave a deep impression in me. It is no wonder my husband feels that kids shouldn’t be overtly worried about family financial situation and should enjoy being kids. I still working on getting over the fact that we can now afford certain luxury and should enjoy so instead of harping over wasting money - I feel guilty just going for a extended hair treatment as I find it hard to justify ‘wasting’ that money, so the part on pamperg oneself, I am still working on it with my husband’s help.