桃花谈

[Imami]

Oops.... Homework :siam:


Doesn't matter la, a rose by another name will smell just as sweet.

[concern2]

kylene:

..he often says \"I don't like u, u are not nice to me\" to us. Breaks my heart .

DD used to write little notes to me with \"I hate you!\" and I used to discover little notes of \"I hate mummy!\" chucked in her drawers. I've never been really bothered by them as I knew how they all started.

DD is pretty stubborn and takes corrections as criticisms when we work on something, not a very 'teachable' kind. She likes to do things \"her way\" and some times actually do them intentionally knowing well what the instructions are. Her writing little notes is her way of vending her frustrations. Ever since she started P1, I have let her handle her own work, getting her to be more responsible, asking her to 'tap on me as a resource' instead of me hovering over her work. Since then, she's started to drop me \"I love you, mummy!\" notes.

After reading this thread, I've also shared with DH what I have learnt, and DD also started to drop DH 'I love you, Daddy!\" notes too!

Thank you! I hope this positive energy will continue to grow on us!

[insider]

Imami:

Oops.... Homework :siam:


Doesn't matter la, a rose by another name will smell just as sweet.

种瓜得瓜

种豆得豆

施财得财

施智慧得智慧

施怨得怨

施恨得恨

无施无得...

All the best to you!

[KSP]

insider:

KSP:

insider, are u still continuing your 桃花谈 story?

Finished oredi leh. My elder niece has a stable main star and I will talk to her when the time is right...

That 'case' that I stopped at Part 3 - 主角 never responds and so I closed her case oredi...

maybe can u re-post the whole story in your first post of this thread? so that many can read it ..... :thankyou:

[SAHM_TAN]

Hi insider,


Just drop a note to thank you.

Today dd1 did something "suspicious". Your post abt paranoid surface in my mind. So I kept quiet. Usually I will jump and not just at her. I thought, I think back to my past and think some more and breathe. Took 2 hrs.

I asked my dd1 fr another angle, re-affirmed some rules, found out what happened and the matter is not "suspicious".

Thank you. Less one nail in the wooden post.

[ruohoo97]

insider:

Imami:

Oops.... Homework :siam:


Doesn't matter la, a rose by another name will smell just as sweet.

种瓜得瓜

种豆得豆

施财得财

施智慧得智慧

施怨得怨

施恨得恨

无施无得...

All the best to you!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Dear Insider, 严师出高徒！ :salute:

[Imami]

ruohoo97:

insider:

[quote=\"Imami\"]Oops.... Homework :siam:

Doesn't matter la, a rose by another name will smell just as sweet.

种瓜得瓜
种豆得豆
施财得财
施智慧得智慧
施怨得怨
施恨得恨
无施无得...
All the best to you!

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

Dear Insider, 严师出高徒！ :salute:[/quote]eh ruohoo, 什么意思leh？ I was still scratching my head on what insider had said. Then wah, your post lagi best - catch no ball. Explain leh...

[Imami]

insider:

Imami:

Oops.... Homework :siam:


Doesn't matter la, a rose by another name will smell just as sweet.

种瓜得瓜
种豆得豆
施财得财
施智慧得智慧
施怨得怨
施恨得恨
无施无得...
All the best to you!

:scratchhead: first two and last three I know. But what is 施财得财，
施智慧得智慧？

施财= donate?

I just gave away $10k of my hard earn money to a family member (the chq just cleared today). He was caught drive-driving 2.5yrs back and recently got his driving license back. Although he is not well off, he just bought a car as his job needs a car. To help to defray his expenses and at the nudging of my mum, I forked out $10k. Behind his back, we are all very worried that he may make the same mistake again. In a way, i am quite happy that he accepted my money. (he is a very full of pride. Giving him money may be perceived as see him no up). I read it as an assurance/promise that he would never make the same mistake again. Is this considered 施财?

施智慧得智慧 shd be teaching someone? Like be generous sharing one's knowledge?

[Emelyn]

:sad:


Last night, DS1 complained about how DS2 constantly disturbs and irritates him. While talking, he also started to say how stressed he is and that his teacher picks on him.

Then I said : If you have any problem, please come and talk to Daddy or Mummy.

He replied : No. I will talk to my friends.

so sad. :sad:

There appears to be a barrier wall between him and us (DH and I). Probably due to all these years of incompetent parenting on our part.

Insider, how can I break this wall ? I am starting to practise what I learnt in this thread. But I suppose it will take time....

[ammonite]

Emelyn:

:sad:


Last night, DS1 complained about how DS2 constantly disturbs and irritates him. While talking, he also started to say how stressed he is and that his teacher picks on him.

Then I said : If you have any problem, please come and talk to Daddy or Mummy.

He replied : No. I will talk to my friends.

so sad. :sad:

There appears to be a barrier wall between him and us (DH and I). Probably due to all these years of incompetent parenting on our part.

Insider, how can I break this wall ? I am starting to practise what I learnt in this thread. But I suppose it will take time....

:hugs: Children can be very forgiving and forgetful. In addition to this thread, books like the \"five love languages for children\" can be helpful too. If he clams up, don't probe. When he wants to talk, just listen, don't say \"come to us\" if it has been a sore point. After a while, he will realise that he CAN go to you.

Last night ds1 was telling me about his classmate, N. N's parents divorced last year and both sides remarried. Ds1 told me he and another girl will just keep quiet and listen when N talks about her parents and how much she hates them and wishes that she can cane them. (the three kids sit together) she recently moved out and now lives with other relatives and said they treat her much better than her real parents and step parents.

I was sort of surprised that ds1 and the other girl instinctively knew to listen quietly, and not to tell the other students in the class. N used to cry in class, and ds1 said last night that she gets more depressed every year. They have been in the same class since P1. Sometimes peers are better at listening without judging or commenting. It is something that I have to remind myself to do as well. Just listen, don't try to judge or fix every time even though the urge to point out the 'right' path can be so strong. Timing is important too.