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    桃花谈

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    • K Offline
      keroppi
      last edited by

      vinegar:
      No other students notice that & i am the only one saw it n quickly copied the answers,am I smart?\".....speechless.... :yikes: :scared:

      Sorry, don't mean to laugh but very funny leh. :rotflmao:
      Kids are so innocent.

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      • V Offline
        vinegar
        last edited by

        keroppi:
        vinegar:

        No other students notice that & i am the only one saw it n quickly copied the answers,am I smart?\".....speechless.... :yikes: :scared:


        Sorry, don't mean to laugh but very funny leh. :rotflmao:
        Kids are so innocent.

        it's ok! I laughed over it also! :rotflmao:

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        • K Offline
          keroppi
          last edited by

          vinegar:
          How to deal with the betrayal over trust? 🤷 I've been trying to train my son to be independent n take responsibility,seems doesn't work well.


          Whenever i leave him alone to do his homework,he'll end up playing.If i sit besides him,he'll ask me to away.
          Some kids will need hand-holding more. I always strike deals & bargains with my kids. Want to play can, how long before he decides to study. I stick to my end of the bargain and they too. If he says 1 hr, then set the alarm for 1 hr - no dispute when alarm rings. If he complains so much work, then ask him how many pages and get him to agree to the bargain, esp if it is one drawn up by him so it is fair to him.

          Taking responsibility means facing the consequences themselves too. Be it facing the wrath of teachers, getting poor marks for an unstudied tingxie/spelling, etc. Lose MRT/library card? I will make sure they go through the trouble of calling and reporting to the different offices themselves. Will step in if needed (like getting a photo) or going down to SMRT office, etc. I don't make life easier for my kids. They create a problem, they fix it. Lose a book, go and buy one from the school library yourself with your own savings. Libary book, same thing. It may seem uncaring but such is life.

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          • S Offline
            SAHM_TAN
            last edited by

            Imami:
            SAHM_TAN:

            Thanks insider.


            My hubby said he's ok even if she fails. He's from the school of hard knocks so nothing fazes him.

            I will try.

            Men seem more cool when it comes to this. My husband is also like that. My father too. You may like to read about how I almost dropped out of school here: http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=847425#p847425
            And

            http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=847437#p847437

            Don't be overly hard on yourself :hugs:

            When I find myself at a cross junction and feeling very lost, I will take a step back and think about how I get here and what was I trying to achieve in the first place. We all set off a journey for an objective but often, we lose our vision/focus at mid way, ESP if the journey is a long one or you hv met with many obstacles and made some detour/change path.

            Thank you.

            My main objective has always to put relationship above results. But once I see a cross on her work my mind just go red. I don't know why, I mean I know very well that it's not possible to know everything and it is ok to make mistakes.

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            • M Offline
              MintyMin
              last edited by

              Been reading lots but seldom post.. due to lots of tots.. abt dh n dc.. n overall family life.. frankly also.. not really sure how i shld go abt sharing my story...


              Like vinegar's ds, my ds is either playing or reading his story books whenever he is left to study his tingxie or spelling on his own.. I used to sit beside him.. but since end of last yr i stopped.. n after reading up this thread.. i try to nag less.. n tok to him nicely tat he is to set his own time n target to learn his spelling n tingxie, n come to me when he is ready to be tested.. on certain days it works.. but some days.. i will end up getting upset n frustrated n of coz the tone in speech will not be tat nice.. n if i caught him reading a book.. he will say tat i do not trust tat he will study.. so how? 😞

              As for assessment book.. last yr i bot 1 for each subject.. tis yr i only bot chinese.. but as much as i wan to trust ds not to look.. it is hard.. as he did it a few times.. so end up.. i have to staple it to avoid him from cheating.. explained to him that it will not do him good to copy.. he say he understand.. but y did he do it again.. he say he duno.. :slapshead:

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              • A Offline
                ammonite
                last edited by

                He copies because he just wants to get it over and done with. You must try to explain to him that if he does that, the same question mark will crop up again and again, and he is just wasting his own time and effort. The fastest way through is to master the material once and for all. His short cut is the long cut.


                Make sure of course that he is not too tired or has too much at one go.

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                • M Offline
                  MintyMin
                  last edited by

                  ammonite:
                  He copies because he just wants to get it over and done with. You must try to explain to him that if he does that, the same question mark will crop up again and again, and he is just wasting his own time and effort. The fastest way through is to master the material once and for all. His short cut is the long cut.


                  Make sure of course that he is not too tired or has too much at one go.
                  Thanks. 😄

                  Lots for me to learn.. esp the way i talk n handle my kids.. I wan to be able to tok to them in peace mode n not flared.. tried to suppress it a few times.. but seems so hard.. esp when i m bz...

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                  • M Offline
                    MintyMin
                    last edited by

                    It dawn on me that the shoutings n screamings tat i did over the past years… somehow… ds is showing it back… to me n dds… i feel so bad tat i have somehow ‘cultivate’ this ‘monster’ in him…

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                    • K Offline
                      keroppi
                      last edited by

                      Insider, I've got a question for you.


                      Last year, we booked a Taiwan tour package. The trip was good but marred by the stop at the PiChu store. The sales people were quite persistent and wanted to know our bazi. Even though we told them we don't believe in such things cos of our religion, they said this fengshui thingy has nothing to do with religion and hence DH was somewhat swayed by them.

                      Then they told us some thing about our kids like one will meet with a car accident and very hua xing when he grows up & as much as I hate to admit, it sort of suck with me. Suppose to buy one pichu for him to zhuan yun but we didn't. Now when my DS comes back late, I am abit unnerved. How do I deal with it? So sian. Should never have stepped into the shop. :slapshead:

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                      • S Offline
                        SAHM_TAN
                        last edited by

                        insider:
                        SAHM_TAN:

                        Thanks insider.


                        My hubby said he's ok even if she fails. He's from the school of hard knocks so nothing fazes him.

                        I will try.

                        Stay calm and think carefully, about whether your hubby can be the 'Leader'.

                        If he is a better one than you, then just listen to him and stop your heart from wavering (about kids' school work). Accepting someone who is stronger than you as the Leader is very important coz it allows you to just surrender yourself to his decision WITHOUT doubt and unnecessary arguments (which that will become your Guiding Principle if you are ever in doubt).

                        Wishing you finding more meaningful things to do for yourself during your SAHM life (can even go and take an afternoon part time course for 'upgrading'). AND, must always stay pretty hor... (must have good skin care routine, must use facial masks, must maintain your hair, etc, etc...coz YOU WORTH IT!)

                        Interesting that you suggested my hubby to take over for academics. The current primary school was suggested by him. I was selected for PV by one the hot primary schools. But I was a bit worried and I know I should reject. But I couldn't make myself reject it. Hubby casually suggested dd1's present school and I was like ok, let's give it a try. Amazingly it was like a few days to school hols but the tr accepted my PV application very quickly. I'm less stressed with dd1 in current school. I know it sounds silly but I will be very stressed if dd1 went into the school that I selected. Hubby is good at big picture kind of decision.

                        I've never bothered abt make-up and stuff. It has gotten worse after I left work force heehee but luckily I befren someone in the beauty industry so all is not lost.

                        I will be on leave during the Mar Hols so will think how to balance myself. Hubby has provided suggestions but I have been \"resisting\".

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