Club SAHM
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janet_lee88:
I work. I teach. I cook. I do housework. He only work and he dare to complain. If want to complain, I got a long list. Sometimes I just feel that he feels inferior cos he is earning so much lesser than me.
It's ok...we all need a listening ear.TheAnswer:
My DH also has horrible temper. Yesterday I was quite stressed with work, so I complained a little. He just snapped and scolded me just because he felt useless in his job. His boss threw out his proposal and boss did it himself. He felt useless and wanted to quit because of it.
Increasingly, I see no point and also cannot share my stress with DH. Many times I want to share, I step on time bomb. As if my job is not stressful. He just simply cannot talk calmly even if I'm not complaining or I am in a good mood. DH totally can't handle stress well.
Sorry for the rant. I have already tried to be understanding. I just dunno how long more will he remain like this.
Ok lah...if hubby has bad day, then we lend listening ear.
But if we wives have lousy day, only fair that they listen too right?
Stay at home all day and face 4 walls Mondays to Fridays can go :siao:
He knows I cannot go out as and when bcos kids come back after school for lunch...besides, they need to rest and get hw done. So when tests are over, I will try to get out. -
janet_lee88, you have good window time in btwn the kids' school timing so still got chance to get out daily if you want. Just ensure what needs to be done, basic cleaning and what nots are done. I bring the kids out for lunch on days i feel like and that saves me time off my mornings. There will also be times they request for Maggi cos i cook most days they don't have that many opportunities to eat Maggi. My only condition is - don't spill the beans to gramma. :rotflmao:
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somehow,when i think of my mum,i think i deserve it to be treated this way by my DH.
I remember my mum ever told me tat u don’t think working is big shark,SAHM also has lots of things to do.I nvr realise it till i married.I apologised to my mum. -
vinegar:
Sometimes DH change job and he takes a pay cut. I never for once even complained about it. Yet he can slack. Sometimes I feel he is totally same pattern as my brother. My married brother literally stayed home for most of last year. Now wife screaming divorce --> lousy attitude, poor finance, bad attitude..
same la.....my DH also change job quite frequently.TheAnswer:
Vinegar,
Your DH is similar to mine. But I think mine worse. Lousy temper and every little thing think of changing job. Luckily I do not depend on him, if not I can't imagine. Have to continue working. No choice. I always have to say pleasing things to him. Had a quarrel last night over some stupid complain. Just can't bring myself to talk to him.
i also don't bother to talk to him...i find my own joys by watching tv,surf nets n chatting wf frds.
Argh. Just want to shut DH out this weekend. I'm still feeling the annoyance from last night. Today went to teach my students, enjoyed my lessons, happy with their CA1 marks. My students are really lovable. Feel at peace with them
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vinegar:
Glad you reconciled with your mum. Heart warming. I also love my mummy more now.somehow,when i think of my mum,i think i deserve it to be treated this way by my DH.
I remember my mum ever told me tat u don't think working is big shark,SAHM also has lots of things to do.I nvr realise it till i married.I apologised to my mum. -
buds:
janet_lee88, you have good window time in btwn the kids' school timing so still got chance to get out daily if you want. Just ensure what needs to be done, basic cleaning and what nots are done. I bring the kids out for lunch on days i feel like and that saves me time off my mornings. There will also be times they request for Maggi cos i cook most days they don't have that many opportunities to eat Maggi. My only condition is - don't spill the beans to gramma. :rotflmao:
I also crave for Maggi mee but I eat it secretly. DH will :nunchuk: if he sees me eating such unhealthy MSG food but he on the other hand loves to eat fast food. How ironic! :siao: -
TheAnswer, i used to earn slightly more than hubs too. I try not to engage in any rants pertaining to job fulfillment (I loved my job tremendously!) or of any pay raise/appraisal if i can help it. I offer to pay for meals out during outings.. belanja his and my families out for family makans.. and also arrange for our family hols. It's like indirectly saying if we got more, we can splurge a bit more.... on everyone. Good things must share.
Whether or not they appreciate, it was my sincere contribution.
So i don't let any http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php get to me. Just brush everything aside as http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php. -
buds:
janet_lee88, you have good window time in btwn the kids' school timing so still got chance to get out daily if you want. Just ensure what needs to be done, basic cleaning and what nots are done. I bring the kids out for lunch on days i feel like and that saves me time off my mornings. There will also be times they request for Maggi cos i cook most days they don't have that many opportunities to eat Maggi. My only condition is - don't spill the beans to gramma. :rotflmao:
Early part of week are busy days...come Thur/Fridays, I will ask mum if she is keen to go out before picking daughter...bringing daughter along means she wants to shop shop and refuse to come home. I do not like to bring dd out as she has quite a bit of work to be done everyday...so going out till late afternoon means no work can be accomplished as she would be flat at 7. -
buds,
thks for offering help.For me,it is not the matter of having more time for myself,it is more of having more time wf my DH.
i can sneak out 1 or 2hours to do quick shopping or exercise when kid out for tuition.
but having meal wf DH is out of question coz no caregiver n DH not keen. -
I told my boss when I returned to work after 2 years as a SAHM (1st time) that I was a good SAHM but a lousy housewife. I still think I'm a lousy housewife. DH is still very hands-off but he's grown to expect that I won't and can't do everything. He and MIL can have their complaints but really it falls on my deaf ears. I'd rather keep my sanity.
The one thing that irritates me is his temper. Blasting at me just becoz he is stressed over work or something is unacceptable. I think this has more to do with his upbringing cos I've witnessed how ILs shout and yell at each other. Talking it over does not work with him, cos it'll happen again. So sometimes, I get him to pay a penalty ( get a gift ) before I accept his apology. Usually to show his appreciation and I'd consider it an advance / belated birthday / anniversary gift ( cos we stopped exchanging gifts for many many years ) Don't :heresmyfish:. Of course, I can get the gift myself but then it won't be a deterrent for him. May not be the best way but can't think of better way.
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