Club SAHM
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buds,
do ur DC complain abt ur cooking?
I think i hv to learn to ignore their complaints.multi task,yes…but tiring.Sometx,take me 10 to 15min to find parking slot ard their tuition centre.Reach home muz quickly prepare dinner n help in their homework.I’ve no choice but to hint DH eat faster so he could help out in homework(some math questions r difficult).
My DH is very slow yo…reach home,take his own sweet time to chk his sms,letters…forever don’t know how to prioritize…he could do this after kids sleep.But cannot rush him later not happy.
i tried to engage private tutor,save traveling time,but no luck. -
We eat fast...luxury time of eating slowly is on Saturday nights...other than that, we finish dinner, eat fruits, clear up, then shower...so that I can start the washing machine running. Once kids have showered, they will start getting homework done.
If daughter has math/science hw, hubby will attend to her if he is home early on weekdays. Or else I will try and do what I can...he will look through once he is back. It is easier to have a system in place so that time is not wasted.
TV at home is hardly switched on. I can live without it but hubby is a TV addict and daughter inherited that from him :slapshead: most of the time I will get her to switch off bcos she has not finished her work. -
vinegar:
The rule in my house is I cook, they eat. They have a choice - eat or go hungry. No complaints entertained, and special requests must be made well in advance, and I have the final say whether to accede or not. So far, my family has been very easy-going with food and will eat anything they find on the table! We eat quite fast too. Maybe you can try time-saving and labour-saving ways for meals? I try to cook one-dish meals and often do bulk cooking so I do enough for 2 meals at once. That way, I have emergency food in the freezer or I am only busy in the kitchen alternate days, with some days I can whip up meals in 30 mins.buds,
do ur DC complain abt ur cooking?
I think i hv to learn to ignore their complaints.multi task,yes...but tiring.Sometx,take me 10 to 15min to find parking slot ard their tuition centre.Reach home muz quickly prepare dinner n help in their homework.I've no choice but to hint DH eat faster so he could help out in homework(some math questions r difficult).
My DH is very slow yo...reach home,take his own sweet time to chk his sms,letters...forever don't know how to prioritize...he could do this after kids sleep.But cannot rush him later not happy.
i tried to engage private tutor,save traveling time,but no luck.
I get my kids to make a note of homework they need help with, and we deal with it at one go rather than running back and forth between things. Usually I help before dinner, and they keep things they need to ask my husband for later in the evening or weekends. -
slmkhoo:
Somehow I feel that you're my online soulmate. I can relate to everything you say :hi5:
The rule in my house is I cook, they eat. They have a choice - eat or go hungry. No complaints entertained, and special requests must be made well in advance, and I have the final say whether to accede or not. -
This thread more happening than FTWM thread. I am no SAHM. DH wanted me to be one but I told him no way. He was not too happy about that. He said his mum was a SAHM but had to work due to circumstances. He and his sister was much happier when his mum was a SAHM. So he feels that women should be SAHM. Told him he should know that is not me. I will go mad and most probably drive everyone around me insane as well. And it was a good thing that I did not stop working as he was in debt for the first 5yrs of our marriage and I was the one paying for everything. I think part of the reason he wanted me to stop work was also because I was earning a fair bit more than he is and he felt threatened.
Before we had a fulltime maid, I was the one handling everything. Work, housework, looking after DD. There were many quarrels over his priorities and his moods. He will take his frustrations over finances and work stress out on me and DD. I told him neither me nor DD are the cause of his stress. If anything, I am relieving a huge load of his stress by managing everything as well as household finances. I told him I can give him space to shake the mood off but I will not bear the brunt of his bad moods. Whenever he starts snapping at me, I will tell him to stop using that tone on me and talk to me only when he is ready to talk properly. I know that frustrates him to no end. But I know my temper as well. It can get explosive and if I do not walk away, things can get ugly. Things did get ugly a couple of times. After the whole issue was over, DH admitted that I was one scary b!tch when fully riled. The good thing is, my attention span is quite short so it blows over pretty quickly. :razz: -
sleepy:
My family knows that I don't enjoy cooking, and I do it because it comes with the territory and it's too expensive and unhealthy to always eat out or buy in. And my husband is even less keen a cook and doesn't have time anyway. The funny thing is, they have grown to like my simple cooking! My kids start yearning for my home-cooked food after a few restaurant meals or when we are on holiday. And I am really not a good cook - my father still refuses to eat at my house!
Somehow I feel that you're my online soulmate. I can relate to everything you say :hi5:slmkhoo:
The rule in my house is I cook, they eat. They have a choice - eat or go hungry. No complaints entertained, and special requests must be made well in advance, and I have the final say whether to accede or not.
Vinegar - I don't know what you cook for your family, but you can consider if there are ways to save time and effort. Another thing I do is to cook when I am free and just do the last-minute additions and warm things up for meals. Depending on my schedule, I am often cooking dinner immediately after lunch. -
Hi vinegar,
my kids don’t complain. rarely appreciates. when they were very small, my son said yummy.now he grown up,sometimes tastes good but when i asked him,is it nice?, he said no.but i know he enjoyed he eat a lot.He can eat a lot when the food is tasty. I tried to experiment recipies.Can check in youtube.In this way me also not boaring to cook they also not boaring to eat.
sometimes my son didn’t eat properly,asked him why?.he said "no nice".So i tried to figure out which food he likes.mostly he likes rice.
Go to playground and let the kids to play.both of you have to talk heart-heart.Tell him how you feel.Ask his problems and tell him you will support him.think as family.Previously my DH doesn’t like to do chore.Then if i asked only he does not willingly.now he do chores willingly.They have to realised how difficult our job.They have to try,we have to close both eyes.now i trained him to cook.now he can cook tastier than me.he prefer home food than outside.if i am busy preparing my son for exams,he can cook.i wash pans for him.sometimes he can do that too.Today after ca1 finish i told him to buy food,he said he can cook. so i let him to cook.
Its took time.i took some books to read him.sometime in the restaurant we talk.so voice cannot be raised.when i faild him to realise i just do all the work without expecting to help or appreciation from him.I know i am doing a good job.one day he will know.These are the two sentenses tell to myself for being strong.I changed myself how can i be happy.why i need to worry for not my fault.i stopped worring.When he started topics that we have different opinions.i asked to stop.cos it waste of time.hurtful for me.Our arguements reduced the happiness come naturally.
You have to anslyse and try solution to fix.Most importantly change urself.Stop upset for anything.You have to be strong.
All the best! -
sleepy:
Simkhoo,
Somehow I feel that you're my online soulmate. I can relate to everything you say :hi5:slmkhoo:
The rule in my house is I cook, they eat. They have a choice - eat or go hungry. No complaints entertained, and special requests must be made well in advance, and I have the final say whether to accede or not.
I like what you mentioned :hi5: ...eat everything I cook or else go hungry...if there is bread, then you are free to eat that. No meals until the next one...so it will either be dinner or breakfast...too bad. Special requests depends on my mood. -
slmkhoo:
The rule in my house is I cook, they eat. They have a choice - eat or go hungry. No complaints entertained, and special requests must be made well in advance, and I have the final say whether to accede or not.
somehow it reminds me of a joke
Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’
Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’
Wife: ‘Yes or no.’ -
I’ve talked to DC many times,even told them in advance what i will be cooking.I usually give n take,sometx make their fav dishes such as baked chicken,sometx not.I always tell them hv to eat variety of food to get right nutrient.I try to make the dishes innovative.For e.g. they hate spinach,so i mix the spinach into mashed potato.When they found out,they made a fuss n refused to eat…Few times i got fed up n took the food away.
For my DH,he is quite easy going when comes to food.The only thing is the portion i give to him.Normally,I’ll cook dinner when i cook lunch for DC. To ease him fr. washing up,i portion out the food for him,meaning making as like "dinner-box"(in disposable container).So I just heat up when he’s back.
I do the washing for big pots n pans.While he helps to wash his own plate/bowl(for soup).
Sometx,he complains on the portion given,so i’ve to tell him if cannot finish,leave it there,in advance.If not,he keeps complaining while eating.
my DH doesn’t like to do hsework.Though now he slowly changes n willing to help more(due to my back prob),he doesn’t like to be told what to do.So I nid help to carry heavy things or any thing that nid to be fixed at home,I’ll do it when he is ard(if he’s good mood,he helps) or i’ll ask him how to replace lightbulb,etc…
I am not sure if i do the right things…the reason i try to do as much as i could…so he could spend more time wf the DC,but end up he spends more time in other things,like watch tv or surf nets.
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