To migrate or not?

[rains]

I grew up in a family with a mother who cooked every single meal for just about 30 years of my life.


I was always more excited about eating out becos we didn’t have a chance to since young. I could never understand why people would eat at mixed veg rice stall. To me, they could always have it at home.

Now that I am a ftwm, my kids and us eat out for every single meal. We eat until we scared.

When i was on leave last year, while i didn’t enjoy the cooking bit, but it was indeed a joy to see the kids eating homecooked meals.

Nothing can be really a joy if you have to do it all the time. But it beats not being able to see your kids for 10-12 h every day.

[sweetiepie]

Coolkidsrock2:

Know someone who took a year's sabbatical to try out life overseas. Came back in the end. He was lucky that he has a job to come back to when it did not work out.


Another friend had to downgrade career wise and it was hard to make ends meet.

Yet another, who stayed on after studies now wanted to come back but is not able to as not able to find a job.

Of course there are also success stories. The grass always looks greener on the other side but it is not necessarily so.

Before I saw ur latest post, I thought ur wife is so lucky having a luxury life as a sahm. So u are a ftwm. why dun u post this question to this forum? I believe many can answer u how life is as a sahm in spore. Btw, try to bring ur 2 young kids here for months w/o ur husband and no support. Handle everything all by urself include fixing all furnitures. I am not sure if u will still think life is enjoyable with tight budget to spend, having to cook Mon to sun and no job by then.

I must say if u are single or coming here with family, that is fine but having kids with no support is really tough. I really dislike people being so sarcastic over something we share the forum. I have said again there is no right or wrong answer for migration. it is all personal choices.

[sweetiepie]

rains:

I can't help but sometimes wonder if negative feedback on migration is a propaganda. Read alot about negative experiences about migration but someone I know who has migrated is very happy about it. She doesn't feel like 2nd class citizen at all. In fact, she feels that she's treated way better than being a Singapore citizen.


I'd thought that most women would prefer to be a sahm to spend more time with their kids - something that's almost a luxury in Singapore. What's so bad about having to cook every meal? My kids don't even get to eat homecooked meals.

There's a huge Asian and Chinese population in Australia so my ex-colleague doesn't feel she's surrounded by Ang mohs.

I told my kid that I am not likely to be able to migrate so she has to. She said,\"It's on my bucket list!\"

the comment I posted is for u.

[Attolia]

BeContented:

rains:

I can't help but sometimes wonder if negative feedback on migration is a propaganda. Read alot about negative experiences about migration but someone I know who has migrated is very happy about it. She doesn't feel like 2nd class citizen at all. In fact, she feels that she's treated way better than being a Singapore citizen.


I'd thought that most women would prefer to be a sahm to spend more time with their kids - something that's almost a luxury in Singapore. What's so bad about having to cook every meal? My kids don't even get to eat homecooked meals.

There's a huge Asian and Chinese population in Australia so my ex-colleague doesn't feel she's surrounded by Ang mohs.

I told my kid that I am not likely to be able to migrate so she has to. She said,\"It's on my bucket list!\"

perhaps if ever u have the chance to continuously cook everyday for 2-3 months, you can share with us if it's bad or not.
For me, it really became such a chore :sick: that I am only cooking 2-3 dinners a week these days. I sure love our hawker centers & foodcourts & zhichar stalls.

We've been overseas since I was a child - about 20 years now. Honestly, if you have enough money to migrate, you can probably afford to eat out at least once a week. When we were lived in Singapore we had a maid, and mum never cooked. When we left, she cooked on average six days a week. I'm sure she found it hard thinking of what to cook every day but she managed. If you eat out regularly you'll run out of things to eat too. And it's healthier to eat at home, besides.

[rains]

sweetiepie:

Before I saw ur latest post, I thought ur wife is so lucky having a luxury life as a sahm. So u are a ftwm. why dun u post this question to this forum? I believe many can answer u how life is as a sahm in spore. Btw, try to bring ur 2 young kids here for months w/o ur husband and no support. Handle everything all by urself include fixing all furnitures. I am not sure if u will still think life is enjoyable with tight budget to spend, having to cook Mon to sun and no job by then.

I must say if u are single or coming here with family, that is fine but having kids with no support is really tough. I really dislike people being so sarcastic over something we share the forum. I have said again there is no right or wrong answer for migration. it is all personal choices.

I don't understand why you are saying that I m sarcastic. I am merely sharing a friend's good experience about migration. Why so hostile? And I never said that it's good life to be without support. I hope you read my post carefully to realise that I was talking about a friend who migrated to Melbourne with her family. If yours have been miserable, that's none of my business.

Subsequently, someone picked out my comment about having to cook every meal and I was solely talking about that. Why take it so negatively?

I never said that it was right or wrong to migrate. I really dislike people putting words in my mouth and start accusing me of things I did not say or mean.

And I do not have any question at all.

[BeContented]

rains:

sweetiepie:

Before I saw ur latest post, I thought ur wife is so lucky having a luxury life as a sahm. So u are a ftwm. why dun u post this question to this forum? I believe many can answer u how life is as a sahm in spore. Btw, try to bring ur 2 young kids here for months w/o ur husband and no support. Handle everything all by urself include fixing all furnitures. I am not sure if u will still think life is enjoyable with tight budget to spend, having to cook Mon to sun and no job by then.

I must say if u are single or coming here with family, that is fine but having kids with no support is really tough. I really dislike people being so sarcastic over something we share the forum. I have said again there is no right or wrong answer for migration. it is all personal choices.

I don't understand why you are saying that I m sarcastic. I am merely sharing a friend's good experience about migration. Why so hostile? And I never said that it's good life to be without support. I hope you read my post carefully to realise that I was talking about a friend who migrated to Melbourne with her family. If yours have been miserable, that's none of my business.

Subsequently, someone picked out my comment about having to cook every meal and I was solely talking about that. Why take it so negatively?

I never said that it was right or wrong to migrate. I really dislike people putting words in my mouth and start accusing me of things I did not say or mean.

And I do not have any question at all.

If you are referring to me responding to your comment about cooking everyday. Here's what I feel.

Someone overseas shared her difficulties of having to DIY everything which includes having to cook everyday. I thot it was a fair comment and sharing.
But for someone who is not doing it (or rather only did it while on leave), whose mom has been doing it for 30 years, to say what's so bad. :roll: Many Singaporeans are not hands on, so it's not gonna be rosy for some. And to even suggest that such negative feedback about migration is a propaganda.....wonder who is the one being negative here.

As a SAHM now, I too can wonder what's so bad about working 5-6 days a week at office for 10-12 hours a day. SAHMs slog 7 days a week & with no less hours. Everyone plays a part for their family. Everything is a choice with its pros & cons. What's good for you may be bad for me. Choose what suits you, what you want.

[rains]

If you do read my first post, I was trying to balance the negative experiences of migration with a good experience. I wasn’t responding to the misery post about having to cook every day at all.


Whether cooking every meal is misery is subjective. And migration is not just about this. If I want to migrate, this is not the first thing on my mind. So there’s no need to keep harping on cooking every day as being miserable. And as I’ve said, I did take leave last year to be a sahm. I enjoyed every minute of it. To me, that’s a luxury that I can’t afford to have. But I’m not complaining that I’ve to work.

By ‘negative feedback’ in my first post, I was referring to comments about having to be treated as 2nd class citizen and no one to be friends with when your neighbors are Ang mohs. I was just offering an alternative view that it may not be true since Australia has a large community of Chinese or Asians.

When you are considering migration, would you be stopped by the need to cook every day’?

I wasn’t responding to sweetiepie’s miserable struggles with her problems. I saw that the topic was ‘to migrate or not?’ and not ‘migration misery’. My objective was to offer a alternative view about migration ie. good experience versus the many negative views, some of which are probably hearsay.

[rains]

It’s a pity that my intention to share a friend’s positive experience about migration has turned into something unpleasant.


I did struggle about whether I should post becos all too often, somebody is bound to pick out something from your post and comment on it in a negative light.

I decided to post bcos I hoped that anyone who’s considering migration will not be held back by the large number of negative views. I dismissed the idea of migration bcos of similar feedback. When I asked my friend about all my misgivings about migration, which incidentally stemmed from forums, she said,"Isn’t this what the government wants us to believe?"

There you go - why I said negative feedback could be propaganda.

[Coolkidsrock2]

My friend who had a good experience with migration was because there is no change in lifestyle for her. She could afford part-time cleaners and is constantly travelling, golfing, eating out. Her hubby stepped down from the corporate world, they have a real estate portfolio providing them with passive income, so it was semi-retirement for them.


Some others I know could even afford live-in help. $2k a month in their respective currencies for a 44 hour work week.

They are very, very happy overseas - Australia, Canada, and USA.

[sweetiepie]

rains:

If you do read my first post, I was trying to balance the negative experiences of migration with a good experience. I wasn't responding to the misery post about having to cook every day at all.


Whether cooking every meal is misery is subjective. And migration is not just about this. If I want to migrate, this is not the first thing on my mind. So there's no need to keep harping on cooking every day as being miserable. And as I've said, I did take leave last year to be a sahm. I enjoyed every minute of it. To me, that's a luxury that I can't afford to have. But I'm not complaining that I've to work.

By 'negative feedback' in my first post, I was referring to comments about having to be treated as 2nd class citizen and no one to be friends with when your neighbors are Ang mohs. I was just offering an alternative view that it may not be true since Australia has a large community of Chinese or Asians.

When you are considering migration, would you be stopped by the need to cook every day'?

I wasn't responding to sweetiepie's miserable struggles with her problems. I saw that the topic was 'to migrate or not?' and not 'migration misery'. My objective was to offer a alternative view about migration ie. good experience versus the many negative views, some of which are probably hearsay.

Isn't this topic abt migration? u mean I cannot share things abt life migrating to Australia. U mean I cannot say what is truth? 1st of all I did not say my neighbor is ang mo. Yes there are a lot of Asian here. my whole building are Chinese mostly from China. It is the support that I do not have like childcare support, emotional support away from friends n family. Lifestyles changes, lower education std..Let's face it, these are somethings we all have to face when migrating. Unless your quality of life still stay the same in both countries.

Abt cooking, if the cost of living is not high and foods here are not expensive who would want to cook every day in Australia. Unless u are well off, spending that type of money is ok. But even my friend who is single and holds a decent job here are bringing food from home to office everyday. U see a lot of working people doing that as well. This is part of the culture here.

I will not go round telling my friends, family or relative abt how bad life is here. Only a few truth friends.will know n my husband. Because nobody knows me in this forum that is why I am willing to share the experience here. Believe or not, only if you truthly experience it, u will know. :drool: :drool: