2013 PSLE Discussions and Strategy
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wonderm:
Hi wonderm,
For our family, daddy and mummy both coached the kids in the evenings or during weekends when they were younger. As the kids grow up and take ownership of their learning, there is no fixed 'coaching time' but they are free to consult daddy or mummy when there are any questions. However, daddy never took leave to coach them in studies, no one expected that. He does take leave for family outings during school holidays though.JohnYeo:
I'm just wondering if just taking 5 to 15 mins a day to look through DS and DD's homework and understand one to two concepts per day will work equally well too, if not better.
Love to hear from parents...do you prefer your spouse to take one to two FULL days to coach kids or a consistent 5 to 15-minutes block of time everyday to coach the kids?
Just curious, m in wonderm stands for mother so it means wonder mother?
Sounds like you and your spouse are your children's role models and family teacher...anything just come to papa or mommy?
My kids are still young and I really want to learn from the other experienced parents like yourself. How do you decide which parent to teach what? And how do you decide when is a good time to let go and it is time for kids to take up more ownership and be more responsible?
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JohnYeo:
We both feel that we parents can only push up to a point, and at 12yo, the child must also want to study. Of course, in the years up to that point, we had done what we could to enthuse her about studies, explain why studies are important, taught her how to study and manage time etc. Both of us grew up in families where there was minimal change in family routine and activities before exams, and we both managed to find time to study and did well, so we have taught our kids the same. In fact, kids study better when they know they will have time to play and relax in the immediate future, not 'after the exams'.Hi slmkhoo,
It is interesting that you did ask your DD what she wanted and you and your spouse respected what she wanted. Plus, it seemed to me that whether there were exams or tests, your family still go about your daily activities. Wow, Im impressed. I know of some families who cut the \"normal\" activities to 0 when exams are nearing. It is really not easy and kudos to you and your spouse.
John -
TheAnswer:
Wow, different teachers for different subjects! \"Applause...
I prefer my DH to concentrate on his work rather than coach DS. DH does not have any patience. We divide our responsibilities.JohnYeo:
I'm just wondering if just taking 5 to 15 mins a day to look through DS and DD's homework and understand one to two concepts per day will work equally well too, if not better.
Love to hear from parents...do you prefer your spouse to take one to two FULL days to coach kids or a consistent 5 to 15-minutes block of time everyday to coach kids?
I coach DS on his academic work and occasionally I teach him to prepare simple dishes. I do not have the habit of going through his homework (school). I encourage independent learning. I go through the additional work (homework from me).
DH coaches him on general knowledge, technology stuff and sports during weekends.
And you teach your DS to cook too...Nice...I know one SAHM who teaches both her DD and DS to cook and bake. And talking about independent learning, I realise it is not easy like to trust the children 100% that they \"really\" did their work...how do you do that? I feel letting go is one of the hardest thing to do as a parent. -
slmkhoo:
Very true...I realise kids become very motivated when they knew that they can do this or that (something enjoyable and something they like) right after they finish their work (be it school work or homework)
In fact, kids study better when they know they will have time to play and relax in the immediate future, not 'after the exams'.JohnYeo:
Hi slmkhoo,
It is interesting that you did ask your DD what she wanted and you and your spouse respected what she wanted. Plus, it seemed to me that whether there were exams or tests, your family still go about your daily activities. Wow, Im impressed. I know of some families who cut the \"normal\" activities to 0 when exams are nearing. It is really not easy and kudos to you and your spouse.
John
we can really see the sparkle in their eyes and surge in their energy level! >.< -
JohnYeo:
And talking about independent learning, I realise it is not easy like to trust the children 100% that they \"really\" did their work...how do you do that? I feel letting go is one of the hardest thing to do as a parent.
I 'quiz' my kids now and again, but without making it seem like a test (although they probably realise that I'm doing it). I usually ask them what they have been doing, and get them to talk to me about it. One of the best ways to test understanding is to get them to explain something to me, and I can usually tell if they have understood something just by chatting to them. I will also ask what sort of mistakes they made in their work and whether they know why it was wrong etc, or ask them to let me spot check their work now and again. Yes, letting go is hard, but it has to be done some time. -
JohnYeo:
Wow, different teachers for different subjects! \"Applause...
I prefer my DH to concentrate on his work rather than coach DS. DH does not have any patience. We divide our responsibilities.TheAnswer:
[quote=\"JohnYeo\"]I'm just wondering if just taking 5 to 15 mins a day to look through DS and DD's homework and understand one to two concepts per day will work equally well too, if not better.
Love to hear from parents...do you prefer your spouse to take one to two FULL days to coach kids or a consistent 5 to 15-minutes block of time everyday to coach kids?
I coach DS on his academic work and occasionally I teach him to prepare simple dishes. I do not have the habit of going through his homework (school). I encourage independent learning. I go through the additional work (homework from me).
DH coaches him on general knowledge, technology stuff and sports during weekends.
And you teach your DS to cook too...Nice...I know one SAHM who teaches both her DD and DS to cook and bake. And talking about independent learning, I realise it is not easy like to trust the children 100% that they \"really\" did their work...how do you do that? I feel letting go is one of the hardest thing to do as a parent.[/quote]My DS is not P6 yet but I'm treating him like a mini adult. He has been trained since young to help around the house. I'm working full time including weekends. Tuesday is my only rest day. I do not have much time to hover behind him and chase him to get his work done. He has a schedule since he was in K1.
He is the kind who will inform me of any test/exam or any difficulty he has in school. I coach him twice a week.
I started teaching him how to cook since last year. He can now do simple things like making sandwiches, preparing milkshakes, frying an egg and stir fry some veges. Of course, the food doesn't taste awesome but it's good enough for me. He is my only son and I prefer him to be independent. I was brought up this way also.
For my DH, he loves to talk about technology stuff so I leave that to him.
As parents, we need to share the work. I can't do everything. -
I give my DS a surprise test (written paper) every week. If he has been doing his work, he will breeze through it. No sweat!
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JohnYeo:
How do you decide which parent to teach what? And how do you decide when is a good time to let go and it is time for kids to take up more ownership and be more responsible?
For my family, I am a SAHM so I am the first port of call for everything. I am stronger in humanities but can handle basic Maths and Science (to sec level), and my husband will bail me out when I get out of my depth. He is the Maths expert so we leave all the tough questions for him. It was easy for us to decide to do it this way as we have different strengths.
As for when to let go, it depends on the child as much as on age. I have a child with learning and organisational issues and have handheld her much longer than I would have liked. I only was able to start letting go around Sec 1 as earlier attempts failed. For my younger child, I started letting go by midway through P1! -
JohnYeo:
Hi wonderm,
For our family, daddy and mummy both coached the kids in the evenings or during weekends when they were younger. As the kids grow up and take ownership of their learning, there is no fixed 'coaching time' but they are free to consult daddy or mummy when there are any questions. However, daddy never took leave to coach them in studies, no one expected that. He does take leave for family outings during school holidays though.wonderm:
[quote=\"JohnYeo\"]I'm just wondering if just taking 5 to 15 mins a day to look through DS and DD's homework and understand one to two concepts per day will work equally well too, if not better.
Love to hear from parents...do you prefer your spouse to take one to two FULL days to coach kids or a consistent 5 to 15-minutes block of time everyday to coach the kids?
Just curious, m in wonderm stands for mother so it means wonder mother?
Sounds like you and your spouse are your children's role models and family teacher...anything just come to papa or mommy?
My kids are still young and I really want to learn from the other experienced parents like yourself. How do you decide which parent to teach what? And how do you decide when is a good time to let go and it is time for kids to take up more ownership and be more responsible? :)[/quote]How old are your kids? They are lucky to have a concerned dad
When my kids were young, we sit with them in the evenings to do some revision or go through their work. The division of work between me and hubby was not by subject, mostly me with DS1, and hubby with DS2. On days either of us were out of town for biz trips, one of us supervised both of them in the study room.
They are Sec 3 and JC 1 now. Starting from Sec school, they are more or less independent with their studies. I still monitor them (so that they don't spend too much time on computer) but I don't actively teach them or go through their work anymore. Whenever they have questions, they approach either of us depending who is available at the moment. We don't really divide by subject (except for Chinese, they usually approach mummy if they need help).
While we tried to let go starting Sec 1, it was not always smooth sailing. When we noticed a problem in certain subject, I would give a little bit more help until they were on track again. It is easier for me to do that since I am a SAHM now. -
slmkhoo:
Wow, surprise quiz...hehe...like surprise class test...it is also very interesting like to get kid to check their work and to understand their mistakes...JohnYeo:
And talking about independent learning, I realise it is not easy like to trust the children 100% that they \"really\" did their work...how do you do that? I feel letting go is one of the hardest thing to do as a parent.
I 'quiz' my kids now and again, but without making it seem like a test (although they probably realise that I'm doing it). I usually ask them what they have been doing, and get them to talk to me about it. One of the best ways to test understanding is to get them to explain something to me, and I can usually tell if they have understood something just by chatting to them. I will also ask what sort of mistakes they made in their work and whether they know why it was wrong etc, or ask them to let me spot check their work now and again. Yes, letting go is hard, but it has to be done some time.
what kind of mistakes in particular? lets say for math, most parents will just say careless mistakes....how do you group them? what i can think of is maybe wrong calculation or wrote wrong number...hmmm
letting go is hard n u did it...\"impressed.
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