Bad hunch after hiring my maid. Need suggestions please!

[vinegar]

my mum’s indonesian maid with her for 2yrs.She looks very decent.She is in mid 20s,slim n petite,quiet.


My mum has developed trust on her(since she has worked wf her for 2yrs),so she left the hse keys to her.

One day,she woke up early n found that she was still sleeping.Curious,she pushed the door…Guess what she saw??? She saw her sleeping half naked with Indian man.My mum shouted.The man quickly wore sarong n ran out through the back gate.

Immediately,they called the police n sent the maid back.They found 3 h/phones & several condoms in her room. My mum said no wonder she saw her washing bedsheet almost everyday.

[vinegar]

Another story…my colleague’s didn’t give her maid off day,n her maid happily accepted it.


She was puzzled why her maid looked tired recently. So she decided to chk her at night.Nothing happened. Then one morning,her MIL went to look the maid to help looking for her shoes(MIL brisk walking alternate days).She went into the maid,tried to wake her up,she didn’t response.Curious,she flipped open the blanket n found…a long bolster.

The maid actually went out ard 5am to meet her bf almost everyday.She was oredi 4months pregnant.

[twinkletoes]

Thank you! I’ve read the replies and the bottom line is: you can’t ignore the little things. The things that made me doubt my decision about her is her stubborn streak which I saw clearly in the initial drama and her little complaints within the first few days.


Even though my maid has some diligence and works hard, the employer/employee chemistry is missing. I can fake it but not for too long. She is a nice person overall but I just don’t feel comfortable with her presence.

I sat down with her today to clear the air. I may have hurt her feelings in the process but I’d rather she understands where I’m coming from. I said I like her (to soften the blow) but I’m an introvert by nature.

My gut feel is strong. I’ve not told her that I’m taking this on a week by week basis and if my feelings persist, I’ll terminate her.

Now she asks if she could go to Lucky Plaza tomorrow to pass cash to her cousin who is leaving on Friday. Seriously?! I said ok, but lets play it by ear as I have a busy day and I need her at home. I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt even if she might be pulling a fast one.

[POA Teacher]

Why can’t her cousin come to your place to collect the money?

[KSmom8]

vinegar:

Another story....my colleague's didn't give her maid off day,n her maid happily accepted it.


She was puzzled why her maid looked tired recently. So she decided to chk her at night.Nothing happened. Then one morning,her MIL went to look the maid to help looking for her shoes(MIL brisk walking alternate days).She went into the maid,tried to wake her up,she didn't response.Curious,she flipped open the blanket n found............a long bolster.

The maid actually went out ard 5am to meet her bf almost everyday.She was oredi 4months pregnant.

Heard all these about maids inviting men / friends to employer's house.

I check the locks and keep the house keys in my room every night. I don't let my maid have a set of house keys on her days off. I also try not to keep to a routine, so sometimes, I come back home at a time when I'm usually out.

[KSmom8]

twinkletoes:

The things that made me doubt my decision about her is her stubborn streak which I saw clearly in the initial drama and her little complaints within the first few days.


Even though my maid has some diligence and works hard, the employer/employee chemistry is missing. I can fake it but not for too long. She is a nice person overall but I just don't feel comfortable with her presence.

I felt a sense of déjà vu reading this. I wouldn't ignore this feeling you have. Chances are if her stubborn streak and little complaints irritate you now, it'll probably trigger more negativity and tension later on.

My current Phil maid ( experience in Middle East ) also had little complaints ( on knives, iron, too much xxxx to clean, etc) and \"requests\" ( wants to wear slippers indoors, sit whilst ironing, etc) on her first few days with me. I had the agent counsel her and it was ok for a while. This was a few months before DS's PSLE, so basically I didn't have time after that to bother much about anything else.

This year, there's less running around and I'm spending more time at home. The complaints on other stuff ( ladder, washer, etc ) have resurfaced, plus now she talks back. Something minor which I asked about or want it done a certain way, becomes a detailed discussion. Very tiring for me. Eventually, she complained about something, and I gave a ultimatum - to transfer or be sent home. She said she wants to stay and that the work is ok ( previously kept complaining that my hdb has too much work ).

However, I've warned DH and elder kid that I could send her home anytime. This stubborn and calculative attitude, plus fussiness will surely get on my nerves again. I'm keeping her now only because she's good at cleaning and household chores, except cooking.

On hindsight, I think this stubbornness and attitude can be difficult to change. Jmho.

[janet88]

When a maid is stubborn…resistant to learn and has attitude prob, it is not possible to hope she will change. She will not change for the better, and keeping such a maid is just going to make employer pissed.

[nms1]

KSmom8:

vinegar:

Another story....my colleague's didn't give her maid off day,n her maid happily accepted it.


She was puzzled why her maid looked tired recently. So she decided to chk her at night.Nothing happened. Then one morning,her MIL went to look the maid to help looking for her shoes(MIL brisk walking alternate days).She went into the maid,tried to wake her up,she didn't response.Curious,she flipped open the blanket n found............a long bolster.

The maid actually went out ard 5am to meet her bf almost everyday.She was oredi 4months pregnant.

Heard all these about maids inviting men / friends to employer's house.

I check the locks and keep the house keys in my room every night. I don't let my maid have a set of house keys on her days off. I also try not to keep to a routine, so sometimes, I come back home at a time when I'm usually out.

Please just make sure that if you lock up at night, you all have an easy escape route in the event of fire. Better an errant maid than a tragedy.

[KSmom8]

nms1:

KSmom8:

[quote=\"vinegar\"]Another story....my colleague's didn't give her maid off day,n her maid happily accepted it.


She was puzzled why her maid looked tired recently. So she decided to chk her at night.Nothing happened. Then one morning,her MIL went to look the maid to help looking for her shoes(MIL brisk walking alternate days).She went into the maid,tried to wake her up,she didn't response.Curious,she flipped open the blanket n found............a long bolster.

The maid actually went out ard 5am to meet her bf almost everyday.She was oredi 4months pregnant.

Heard all these about maids inviting men / friends to employer's house.

I check the locks and keep the house keys in my room every night. I don't let my maid have a set of house keys on her days off. I also try not to keep to a routine, so sometimes, I come back home at a time when I'm usually out.

Please just make sure that if you lock up at night, you all have an easy escape route in the event of fire. Better an errant maid than a tragedy.[/quote]I absolutely agree.

For my place, the keys are nearer to where we all sleep and everyone knows where the keys are at night... Easier access ... plus we don't lock our bedroom door since kids are in another bedroom.

Might be a problem for 2 or 3 storey houses or those with alarms.... Wonder what precautions can be taken :scratchhead:

[Sweet Joy]

Chemistry in a relationship can make or break it. My previous maid seemed hardworking, but she has the habit of irritating me. She stubbornly sticks to her ways, despite teaching her and making my expectations known. It was like teaching a new maid every month. In the end, I let her leave, because the thought of her and by seeing her I naturally got angry. Sometimes our gut feeling or intuition, etc is something we should examine.


I tried to tell myself it’s alright as she is hardworking, but it just did not work. She constantly made me angry. On the day she left, she kept apologising for making me angry. I came to realise that she probably did it on purpose. Motive? Maybe she wants a one-way ticket home to see her bf. However, I let her transfer instead.

Anyway, I am glad that she is gone.But I am trying to manage without a maid to try out. No heartache, but my body aches. Haha.