Need Advice: How to discipline toddles for their behavior

[jocelyn_83]

Hi


My 2 yo child currently attending full day Playgroup and recently the teacher has inform us he always bite his classmate sometime for no reason and sometime while they are playing.

We have also tell him do not bite / hit ppl. But dunno is he understand what we try to teach him or not. his temper is vry bad and stubborn as well. Sometime i really dunno how / what to do with it.

Any parent has this kind of experience before and advice?

[Ran1977]

jocelyn_83:

Hi


My 2 yo child currently attending full day Playgroup and recently the teacher has inform us he always bite his classmate sometime for no reason and sometime while they are playing.

We have also tell him do not bite / hit ppl. But dunno is he understand what we try to teach him or not. his temper is vry bad and stubborn as well. Sometime i really dunno how / what to do with it.

Any parent has this kind of experience before and advice?

Hi dear,
Don't worry - its a normal phase. My son also was biting when we put in him school the first few times. It will take lots of patience to explain to him (I was like a broken radio going on and on).
More importantly, when he does it - if you or a teacher can say NO in a firm tone each time he does it - he should understand that it it not acceptable!
That's how my son, now 5.5yrs, learnt.

[jocelyn_83]

Ran1977:

jocelyn_83:

Hi



Hi dear,
Don't worry - its a normal phase. My son also was biting when we put in him school the first few times. It will take lots of patience to explain to him (I was like a broken radio going on and on).
More importantly, when he does it - if you or a teacher can say NO in a firm tone each time he does it - he should understand that it it not acceptable!
That's how my son, now 5.5yrs, learnt.

Thanks Ran for the advice.

Yes, the teacher has told him NOT to biting ppl, but the teacher told us he seem like not scare of them.
Sometime at home he also will \"hit\" us for nothing, first few time i warn him not to do that, then now once he \"hit\" me i will \"hit\" his palm. he know he is wrong and the face is showing crying soon, but he seem like not willing \"to lose\" and keep on \"hit\".

Is this a phase of Terrible Two?? haha sometime i really give up!

[cherrygal]

It is the terrible twos and threes.


Time-out is one method to use, favoured by westerners. You can put the naughty kid in a designated naughty chair in one corner of the house immediately after the bad behaviour is committed. Keep him there for five minutes, facing the wall, until he stops crying and wants to apologize. Then hug and explain. It may take longer than 5 mins if he keeps wailing.

This is a very time consuming punishment so most Asian parents tend to give in to anger and smack the kids to get submission.

As for biting, my kids only nipped me at most once or twice in their toddler hood and I think I just said "only dogs bite, are you a dog?" They replied no and never bit again. Key thing is to teach them to express their feelings so that they can voice out rather than bite in frustration.

As parents, we should also be consistent with our punishments and facial expressions. Once the bad behaviour is committed, your face and tone must change immediately. Seek an apology immediately and if he refuses, put him in the chair. The kid must not think he will have so many "chances".

And don’t ever smile while threatening punishment or holding a cane. I see some mothers or grandmas do that and the kid thinks it’s a game.

Just my 2 cents…

[Funz]

It is a phase that some toddlers go through. For the time being, request the teacher/s handling him to keep him close by her side so that she can be fast enough to prevent any biting incident should she see him being triggered.


As for the beating, you are sending him mixed signal. While you tell him cannot beat, you on the other hand are beating him. When he does hit you, tell him very firmly cannot beat. Remove him from the situation and time him out and do not give him any attention for the 2-3mins for timeout.

[jocelyn_83]

Hi Cherrygal and Funz

Thank you for the advice and appreciated.

Yes Funz, this morning teacher has told us she will keep him close by their side to prevent any biting incident.

[Fat cello]

Hi


When my son bite me,i will bite him back and ask him how he feel.after that tell him why cannot do this cause it’s pain.nobody like this.then stop .

[ngl2010]

Hi. It is a phase that will pass. I also used time-out like cherrygal but I used 2 minutes when he was 2 years old, 3 minutes when 3 years old, and so on. 1 minute for each year. I didn't ask him to face the wall. Just stand in the corner. By this time, he would be crying already. Don't be soft-hearted. Wait until the time is up and call him to see you. While he is standing and you are sitting down, you should explain what went wrong, why he is punished. Ask for his confirmation that he understood what bad behaviour he should not be repeating. After that, give him a hug and don't scold any further. It should end there.


For the time-out, please DO NOT put him inside toilet/store room. It will be too traumatizing for him. Just put him at the corner where you can still see him from where you are sitting. Please make sure that there is nothing he can do there e.g. he can't watch TV, cannot see the siblings, etc. Basically, he should have nothing to do there. For you, you should be a distance away doing your work (serious things, not doing something entertaining like watching TV).

Some children are more difficult to discipline than others. My niece will ask to read books when time-out :faint: or she will sing during time-out :slapshead: This should not be allowed.

My 2-cents.

[Celyw]

Dear mummies, recently I am encountering discipline issue with my #2 too. He is mischievious in class, tends to be violent if he can’t get his way, and not scare of his teachers, will not listen to instruction in class and teachers have been complaining to me.


I try naughty corner but he always find excuse (want to pee, stomachache, want to drink water, etc) to run away. I even try caning 1~2 strokes but after awhile he happy again.

What can I do to reinforce discipline to him? He is not terrific 2 but horrible 3 going to 4 soon. One consolation…he dun bite his friends.

[sharonkhoo]

Celyw:

Dear mummies, recently I am encountering discipline issue with my #2 too. He is mischievious in class, tends to be violent if he can't get his way, and not scare of his teachers, will not listen to instruction in class and teachers have been complaining to me.


I try naughty corner but he always find excuse (want to pee, stomachache, want to drink water, etc) to run away. I even try caning 1~2 strokes but after awhile he happy again.

What can I do to reinforce discipline to him? He is not terrific 2 but horrible 3 going to 4 soon. One consolation...he dun bite his friends.

Don't let him get away. Or if he goes to the toilet etc, make him go back and start the time again. Once he realises that making an excuse and going away means an even longer time in time-out, he will stop. As for being happy again quickly, that is the nature of young kids.