Bad hunch after hiring my maid. Need suggestions please!

[Harlequin]

Nutty mum:

Harlequin:

Observe how she takes her seat, assuming the chair is within her reach, if she drags her chair to move to you, I will not take her as a maid, even she drags the chair for just half a meter distance.

If she lifts up the chair and carry it to your side, after putting down the chair, she pauses and wait for your nod before she sits down (although she already knew she is allowed to sit, but she respectfully waiting for a second nod) Congratulation, you got yourself a maid!

Great analysis Harlequin. Can you let me know what's your analysis to the 1st observation that you will not take her as maid? thanks

Hi, Nutty mum.

Any form of interview is stressful, under such stress a person tends to be betrayed by their body language.

A person, assuming she is a transfer maid, having a few months of outstanding loans looming, her fate hanging as to which family will she landed in etc.... if all these do matter to her, and if she is willed to see herself through this muddy period... her natural response is to react cautiously as if threading on thin ices, she tends to speak softer, laugh lesser, observing the potential employer more than the reverse.... she ought to show a certain level of concern, of her \"fate\".

(Assuming the chair is not the office chair with rollers, but the plastic foldable easy chair...)

A person under such conditions, wouldn't be mindful to do a little extra, but choose/react by her habitual way (dragging the chair is habitual, not of convenience as I viewed it, it's a habit that a person cultivate over a long period of time.) She is a creature of habits, she is likely to have a certain set of patterns which she can't break, and not likely that I can make her quit her habits, and as the creature of habits they find comfort in doing things that they are familiar with... Of course without knowing her well, I can't judge will her habits be tolerable for me, but knowing myself can only spend very little time with her, I do not wish to spend time with her just to correct her.... In another word, she is likely to be a person that goes on to do her work her own way... that's not damaging, but I have to ask myself how far and how long can I take it.

Dragging chair, or anything that's is not weighty that could actually be carried... is also a sign of reluctant (with exception to body exhaustion)
Maybe something that she felt is not justified that she has to look for another employer, or maybe she sees me as not worthy to be her employer, or that she has given up trying to please employers etc...

It also tells that this person is in a state that she couldn't be bothered... as like, \"do whatever you want to me lah\"

I prefer to steer away from this type of personality...when I look for a domestic helper, I am looking for a long term relationship, 6 to 8 years perhaps... that someone that has the compatibility to my character, I am aware that I have plenty of flaws so I better observe that they have the character and traits that'll minimize the conflicts... I am not too concerned with what they can do (capability), compatibility is more important to ensure a harmony relationship.

I don't mind to employ someone that doesn't know how to cook curry, but I won't want to employ someone that's NOT WILLING to cook curry because of the chili fume... I can train someone that's willing but don't know how to...

[st2]

Harlequin:

st2:

Hi Harlequin


Thanks for sharing. Your sharing has been very helpful for me. Please share some more tips!

What you have described, I've been through recently. My maid is leaving in 2 weeks, she has asked to go home. She wants to fight me at every corner, I feel like she's bending me to her ways. I'm all for efficiency, but her ways has ruined stuff.

She is not rude and she cleans well, but she just wants to do things her way and refuses to learn or follow my instructions despite writing them down. She spoke to her mother a few weeks ago and then she told me that she has to go home. I think she wants to come back later with the new 2013 contract terms.

It's probably for the best because she grates on my nerves when she repeatedly does not follow my instructions. I can see that she hasn't and I have to correct it or do it myself. It's exhausting!

Good morning to you, st2.

Sorry to hear your predicament.... I can fully comprehend the frustration, when things have became this bad, beyond salvage, and we seems unable to pin point what exactly went wrong that led to her uncooperative attitude...

Will sort out my thoughts and post later in the afternoon.

Meanwhile, take a deep breath, be nice to her but keep an appropriate distance.... take care.

Thanks Harlequin for the support and advice! Looking forward to your sharing!

[Nutty mum]

Thanks for sharing your detailed analysis.

[Harlequin]

Talk about maid hunting, maid management etc, can really write a book… I don’t remember I spent that much of 心思 on my hubby… at least most of us were court by our DHs, we only need to decide if we want to accept hubby’s courtship or the other guy, Lol.


Getting a complete stranger to work and live with us is really like climbing the Atlas mountain.

Will post more about my journey of getting THAT PERFECT COMPATIBLE maid…

[buds]

Harlequin:

Congratulation, you got yourself a maid!

Harlequin:

Peace, I get what I want without making her feel bad. :celebrate:

I have LIKED both these posts. :goodpost:

Am camping here for more insights. :please:
Because, I want a helper too!