Is this behaviour of teacher acceptable?

[ammonite]

2ppaamm:

Ultimately, whatever the educator does, he walks away from the problem, we are left to pick up the pieces, and the child lives with the scars.

Exactly.

[ammonite]

We as parents have all the rights to take over and say, \"teacher, you are doing something wrong and I am going to .....(change school, complain to p, write to stomp, take over, or whatever it is)\"


And how do you think a teacher like that will react? Especially if you have ALREADY told her that your child needs a certain approach?

What will our children see? What will they learn? What will other children see? How will the teacher react? Will the teacher still want to play a role in moulding your child's growth? Or will the teacher leave your child to do whatever he wants in the future (bo chup)? Will the child still give the sacred respect to the teacher in charge?

Of course not to everything above. The teacher is not interested in moulding the child's growth in the first place, or she will not behave like this. With complaints, the child is condemned to being ignored and left out in the cold. Respect needs to be earned.

What do you guys think?
If it is the main teaching teacher and an entrenched problem, change class or change school.

[ammonite]

yeomaylin:

phtthp:

Is it possible to transfer yr son to another class ?

I can bring this up to the principal but strongly believe it Will not be possible. The principle is well known for being stubborn and not opened to feedback.

yeomaylin,

You have to think seriously how much your child can take without being damaged in some way, esp if his teacher will still be taking him next year.

You can raise it quietly with the principal, especially with the tearing of books issue. You can also talk to other parents and get their feedback. If all of you feel the same way, you can make a joint case.

In some schools, the identity of the child whose parents complain to the principal is not revealed to the teacher. But this is not always the case. Generally if the identity is revealed, the teacher will mark the child, or take a very hands-off approach towards the child. This is according to teachers I know, and also my own experience.

It is a tricky stressful situation. I hope it works out ok in the end for you!

[ammonite]

Hiholow:

There is a line that has to be drawn. It can be acceptable and not acceptable depending on what kind of mistake our children had made. Not all children are the same, some need hard approach whereas some need soft approach.

I think this is too abitrary and not many teachers know when to push or pull back. There is a proper way to manage children and tearing up homework has no place in this. I do not need a teacher to like my child. I only require a teacher to be professional in her job, which means, EVEN IF she doesn't like my child, she will mark his work like any other child, and she will step in if other children have clearly done wrong to him. She has to practice impartiality in her teaching and classroom management, even if she doesn't feel that way because that is the job she is paid to do.

That to me is a professional teacher. I will also not complain over an isolated incident. But repeated incidents of unreasonable and unprofessional behaviour really really gets my goat.

[XYZ1]

After reading the posts, i would like to share some views. Although I’m a parent myself, I tend to sympathize with the teachers nowadays:


1) current generation of parents 不是什么省油的灯, we do not hesitate to stand up for our children’s rights and we are definitely more vocal. When i meet my dc’s teachers, some of them make me feel like I’m customer and they are some customer service officers. Actually, i don’t think it shd be like that bcos 这有损老师的尊严. My cousin is a student counsellor in a sec sch, she shared with me horror stories of how some parents defended the WRONG actions of their kids…这是个什么样的社会？

2) kids nowadays (pls do not flame me, i hv 2 myself) are definitely smarter and more cunning than our generation. (i’m born in the 70s), my ds came back from school telling me of the kind of things that his classmates (P3 only) say:
- C-B, F, xxx, vulgar words…my gosh! And these words are coming from kids
with good/middle class family background. According to my son, this is like
COMMON, best part is that these kids will not say it near teachers, only
within the classmates
- one classmate can tell my son that he will kidnap my son after sch and then kill him
Vulgarities are ban words in my house, if i hear my dc say it, be it accidental or intentional, i will slap their faces (not the big tight slap kind). They know my rule and will not test this.

3) Parents also need to remember that teachers are humans…humans in this era all under some sort of tremendously stressful lifestyle…and so are teachers, so i always feel that if i can cooperate with teachers rather than to blame them, i will.
Personally, i don’t admire a teachers’s job, it is so difficult to juggle teaching, marking, discipline a class of 30-40 students, admin work, cca work, supplementary work, and … parents. (I really hope MOE can do more to relieve teachers of non-teaching related work) Hence, sometimes, a naughty act by a student in class is merely the 导火线 to trigger the teacher’s explosion…i know teachers cannot and should not take it out on their students, but who do not have such moments…including ourselves? So the best is to make sure our kids behaved themselves decently in class?
I’m not a teacher, I’m an accountant, i had almost wanted to make a mid career switch to teaching…but decided not to for now.

Of course, there are always black sheep amongst teachers, just as in there are black sheep in many other professions as well, but generally, i think most teachers do a decent job. If there are back sheep, we as parents, should chiong all the way to protect our dc, but otherwise, i feel that the approach shd be more of a "in partnership with teachers" rather than blame.

This is just my humble view…do not flame me if u disagree…each to his own opinion.

[ammonite]

I believe yeomaylin is here because she does not want an antagonistic relationship with the teacher. If u have a good practical suggestion for her on how to approach her problem I am sure she will appreciate it.


Some of us have met the black sheep. They r so unreasonable and outright liars I couldn’t believe they actually exist. Normal teachers are reasonable and of course possible to work with.

[yeomaylin]

ammonite:

I believe yeomaylin is here because she does not want an antagonistic relationship with the teacher. If u have a good practical suggestion for her on how to approach her problem I am sure she will appreciate it.


Some of us have met the black sheep. They r so unreasonable and outright liars I couldn't believe they actually exist. Normal teachers are reasonable and of course possible to work with.

Dear all,

:thankyou: VERY MUCH for all your suggestion.
I've been talking to my son lately more about his form teacher and explain to him why his teacher may behave this way. Though I may quite disapprove the way his teacher react but I believe I shd not show it in front of him coz I don't want him to end up disliking his teacher and hating to go to his class. Last Friday, he just told me something new.... his form teacher strip him from his monitor position coz of the 'running to the bus bay incident' and almost got his teacher in trouble!!!! :slapshead: Am I right to say that being a monitor and 'running to bus bay' shd be 2 different matters?!? :scratchhead: anyway, told my son it's ok, just do your part as a good student and everything will be alright.
Coming June, if I decided to tell the teacher, MUST say in a VERY diplomatic way so as not to get anybody hurt. :xedfingers: This teacher is quite an elderly (that's why she is still 'ruling' and teaching the class in a 'traditional' way). Heard from a few mothers (their kids were taught by her previously), she is very sensitive and old-minded. Always believe in punishment. Ever once, she punished a P1 kid to stay back late after class to redo homework coz he submitted late!!! :yikes: \"\"Tiger teacher\"\" :siao:

[janet88]

NO professional teacher or tutor should humiliate any kid.


An educator should be firm…but there is always a professional code of conduct. Every child has his/her dignity.

[2ppaamm]

janet_lee88:

NO professional teacher or tutor should humiliate any kid.


An educator should be firm...but there is always a professional code of conduct. Every child has his/her dignity.

I agree, I think she has gone beyond her call of duty. If we as parents keep keeping quiet, the message sent out is that they can do anything and will never be accountable for them. Such teachers need not be educators.

[vinegar]

ammonite:

Hiholow:

There is a line that has to be drawn. It can be acceptable and not acceptable depending on what kind of mistake our children had made. Not all children are the same, some need hard approach whereas some need soft approach.

I think this is too abitrary and not many teachers know when to push or pull back. There is a proper way to manage children and tearing up homework has no place in this. I do not need a teacher to like my child. I only require a teacher to be professional in her job, which means, EVEN IF she doesn't like my child, she will mark his work like any other child, and she will step in if other children have clearly done wrong to him. She has to practice impartiality in her teaching and classroom management, even if she doesn't feel that way because that is the job she is paid to do.
That to me is a professional teacher. I will also not complain over an isolated incident. But repeated incidents of unreasonable and unprofessional behaviour really really gets my goat.

agree....