All About Working With Children Who Are Weak Academically

[Hiholow]

Lol. I dont really know how to explain to you but at home my dh will always emphasis that the older must always look after the younger especially when they are sisters. DD naturally is a very soft hearted and caring girl, she always think of her younger sister.


DH and I also behave in a way whereby we will always help each other and when both dd asked, we will explain to them.

[JohnYeo]

Hiholow:

Lol. I dont really know how to explain to you but at home my dh will always emphasis that the older must always look after the younger especially when they are sisters. DD naturally is a very soft hearted and caring girl, she always think of her younger sister.


DH and I also behave in a way whereby we will always help each other and when both dd asked, we will explain to them.

Looks like you have a very good DH IC, I will take note of the part on getting DD1 to take care of DD2... Thanks so much, Hiholow

[sharonkhoo]

JohnYeo:

Hiholow:

Lol. I dont really know how to explain to you but at home my dh will always emphasis that the older must always look after the younger especially when they are sisters. DD naturally is a very soft hearted and caring girl, she always think of her younger sister.


DH and I also behave in a way whereby we will always help each other and when both dd asked, we will explain to them.

Looks like you have a very good DH IC, I will take note of the part on getting DD1 to take care of DD2... Thanks so much, Hiholow

On the other hand, it would also be good to get your younger daughter to be as independent as possible, even though she knows that her older sister is willing to help. As they grow older, your older daughter might feel the responsibility and burden more and maybe begin to resent it a bit. As an older child, I have always rather resented the assumption that the older one must take more responsibility and 'look after' the younger one. I tended to get lumped with more chores or responsibilities simply because I was older, even when my brother was older than when I had started doing those chores (also maybe because I was the girl). In my case, it's my younger daughter who is the more able academically and socially, and I have never actually told her to 'look after' the older one, even though I see that she often does. I don't want her to grow up feeling that she needs to shoulder all that burden, and I don't want her sister to take the easy way out.

[JohnYeo]

slmkhoo:

JohnYeo:

Looks like you have a very good DH IC, I will take note of the part on getting DD1 to take care of DD2... Thanks so much, Hiholow

On the other hand, it would also be good to get your younger daughter to be as independent as possible, even though she knows that her older sister is willing to help. As they grow older, your older daughter might feel the responsibility and burden more and maybe begin to resent it a bit. As an older child, I have always rather resented the assumption that the older one must take more responsibility and 'look after' the younger one. I tended to get lumped with more chores or responsibilities simply because I was older, even when my brother was older than when I had started doing those chores (also maybe because I was the girl). In my case, it's my younger daughter who is the more able academically and socially, and I have never actually told her to 'look after' the older one, even though I see that she often does. I don't want her to grow up feeling that she needs to shoulder all that burden, and I don't want her sister to take the easy way out.

Thanks slmkhoo...sounds like is teaching similar values to both kids...right now DD2 is unwell again...haiz...just hope she gets completely well soon....

[Hiholow]

slmkhoo:

JohnYeo:

[quote=\"Hiholow\"]Lol. I dont really know how to explain to you but at home my dh will always emphasis that the older must always look after the younger especially when they are sisters. DD naturally is a very soft hearted and caring girl, she always think of her younger sister.


DH and I also behave in a way whereby we will always help each other and when both dd asked, we will explain to them.

Looks like you have a very good DH IC, I will take note of the part on getting DD1 to take care of DD2... Thanks so much, Hiholow

On the other hand, it would also be good to get your younger daughter to be as independent as possible, even though she knows that her older sister is willing to help. As they grow older, your older daughter might feel the responsibility and burden more and maybe begin to resent it a bit. As an older child, I have always rather resented the assumption that the older one must take more responsibility and 'look after' the younger one. I tended to get lumped with more chores or responsibilities simply because I was older, even when my brother was older than when I had started doing those chores (also maybe because I was the girl). In my case, it's my younger daughter who is the more able academically and socially, and I have never actually told her to 'look after' the older one, even though I see that she often does. I don't want her to grow up feeling that she needs to shoulder all that burden, and I don't want her sister to take the easy way out.[/quote]Yeap definitely. Actually in fact as younger DD is more outgoing, she is actually the one protecting the elder DD. Elder DD looks after younger dd in schoolwork whereas younger dd protects the elder one in personal. I definitely do not want them to resent it. Chores in the family are done by the maid, but each DD must do their own chores of keeping their room clean too, no laziness allowed as DH very particular about keeping good habits. DH and I are never bias as we know they can sense it, so we do our best to show that we are fair towards each of them and they have to bear the same consequence when they make the same mistake.

[sean wife]

In terms of academic coaching, would u spend more time to coach the weaker one, or the stronger one? I find that I spend more time on my weaker twin girl, but still does not match up to the stronger one… I am just thinking, is it right to continue this way or should I give the stronger one equal attention too, so that she can realize her full potential too?

[sharonkhoo]

sean wife:

In terms of academic coaching, would u spend more time to coach the weaker one, or the stronger one? I find that I spend more time on my weaker twin girl, but still does not match up to the stronger one... I am just thinking, is it right to continue this way or should I give the stronger one equal attention too, so that she can realize her full potential too?

My thought is - does your stronger child really need that much attention? And will that extra time necessarily mean that she will do even better? Is helping her that way a good thing for her? A child who is stronger should require less attention. In fact, I believe that letting your stronger child learn to manage without too much close attention is better for her in the long run. I would like to see my weaker child manage with even less attention, and my aim in coaching her is mainly to teach her cope without me, not to maximise grades.

My academically stronger child is also my younger child, and I really spend much less time on her studies than on her older sister's. It may seem unfair on the surface, but my younger girl has developed much more independence and self-study skills which will be to her benefit in the long term. I still help her when she asks and keep a distant eye on what she is doing, but I see 'hovering' as something to avoid as far as possible. In our family, it's considered a good thing to manage without parents, and having a parent nag is a bad thing. My younger child has been mostly free from my nagging since early Pr school.

[sean wife]

slmkhoo:

sean wife:

In terms of academic coaching, would u spend more time to coach the weaker one, or the stronger one? I find that I spend more time on my weaker twin girl, but still does not match up to the stronger one... I am just thinking, is it right to continue this way or should I give the stronger one equal attention too, so that she can realize her full potential too?

My thought is - does your stronger child really need that much attention? And will that extra time necessarily mean that she will do even better? Is helping her that way a good thing for her? A child who is stronger should require less attention. In fact, I believe that letting your stronger child learn to manage without too much close attention is better for her in the long run. I would like to see my weaker child manage with even less attention, and my aim in coaching her is mainly to teach her cope without me, not to maximise grades.

My academically stronger child is also my younger child, and I really spend much less time on her studies than on her older sister's. It may seem unfair on the surface, but my younger girl has developed much more independence and self-study skills which will be to her benefit in the long term. I still help her when she asks and keep a distant eye on what she is doing, but I see 'hovering' as something to avoid as far as possible. In our family, it's considered a good thing to manage without parents, and having a parent nag is a bad thing. My younger child has been mostly free from my nagging since early Pr school.

Hi,

Thanks for your sharing…I guess I need to learn to adjust expectations accordingly, and also how to find the balance between educating the weaker one to be ‘responsible’ for her own less stellar results and her sharing in the ‘sweetness of success’ of the stronger one..being twins, they have been close all their lives and imagine that they can be together in all their future classes and schools…

[janet88]

daughter was assessed by the school counsellor…no learning disabilities but slow and forgetful. so have to take baby steps, don’t have high expectations and be very patient. it’s really tough, fortunately older one is in sec school.

[vinegar]

forgetful…indeed…my son can forget abt the word i taught him just 5min ago…i am not sure if he forgetful n simply lack of learning interests.