Me Time!
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starlight1968sg:
StarlightImMeeMee
The issue of reliance will change when kids enter sec school. Now you just enjoy this precious period
DD1 is in sec 1 this year. it's the usual daily stuff that gets to me. Leaving things unpacked, shoes unwashed, books and stuff everywhere. Its either I pack up for her or I tell her to pack and then it turns to nagging when she doesn't listen. Sometimes she's cooperative and sometimes she's defiant. Tween mood swings? Honestly I can't remember how it was like when I was a teen. Maybe I gave my parents a hard time too. :roll: -
ImMeeMee:
I know what you mean - I went through and am still going through the process too. It's good to intentionally step back gradually - partly to let them learn, and also to avoid some of the inevitable clashes if you are too involved. You can still watch from a distance and step in if you see they get seriously out of their depth. They will make mistakes, and sometimes blame you for not helping (you may feel a bit guilty too!), but it's all part of the learning process. You just want to prevent the worst or irrepairable consequences, but a few knocks and small failures are good for them. My husband has been the one who tells me when I should step back as I'm usually too close to see. Over the years, I have gradually increased the volunteer stuff I do, gone out with friends more, and recently took on freelance/PT work too. The benefit is that we also get to reclaim our selves (and our marriages) which have taken more of a back seat when the kids were small.These days my kids rely on me a lot cos I am always there to help them solve their problems. I think its getting unhealthy. I also think that they are beginning to take me for granted, and the tween defiant and rebellious minds are not helping.
I need to start to step back. Parenthood is really walking on a tightrope. Either way and I drop.
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I’m still yelling about socks on the floor once a week. Honestly this should be zero occurrence!
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sleepy:
I'm still yelling about socks on the floor once a week. Honestly this should be zero occurrence!
Don't yell? Just leave the socks there until they run out? Or if you really can stand the sight, put them in a bag or container in a corner? Or put them on their beds - that should attract their attention without your needing to shout. -
slmkhoo:
Well said slmkhoo. Especially the blame part.
I know what you mean - I went through and am still going through the process too. It's good to intentionally step back gradually - partly to let them learn, and also to avoid some of the inevitable clashes if you are too involved. You can still watch from a distance and step in if you see they get seriously out of their depth. They will make mistakes, and sometimes blame you for not helping (you may feel a bit guilty too!), but it's all part of the learning process. You just want to prevent the worst or irrepairable consequences, but a few knocks and small failures are good for them. My husband has been the one who tells me when I should step back as I'm usually too close to see. Over the years, I have gradually increased the volunteer stuff I do, gone out with friends more, and recently took on freelance/PT work too. The benefit is that we also get to reclaim our selves (and our marriages) which have taken more of a back seat when the kids were small.
On a side note, I have been telling DH that its about time we start to cultivate our other interests. Both of us have been very involved with the kids that a lot of other things take a back seat. So we better prepare ourselves eventually for Empty Nest Syndrome one day when it hits. -
Socks at entrance of the house. Buay tahan leh.
I threaten to throw their dirty socks on their bed. Then I get this calm come back line if I can bring dirty socks to their room why not bring dirty socks directly to the laundry basket instead. -
Waahh, you kids can get away with this kind of sass?
For me, I will not threaten, I will just do. Their socks will either end up on their study table, on their bed or in the dustbin. -
We leave the shoes and socks outside our main door. So I don’t bother
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sleepy:
I'm still yelling about socks on the floor once a week. Honestly this should be zero occurrence!
I have zero tolerance for mess. I have set up a proper designated place for most items eg, dirty socks should be in a designated pail at my balcony area. That way I will be able to toss them in when I am doing my laundry. If they are not there, then it will not be washed. DS learnt it the hard way cos he went to school without his school socks as they were lying somewhere else and he has no clean socks to wear. I will not pick up after him. Nowadays all's well. Thank God. -
PP
Your WM is in your balcony?
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