In-law problems?

[tree nymph]

Andaiz,

I strongly agree with you on

Andaiz:

\" As a DIL, you'd need to know that you will not be right in the eyes of your MIL....when dear son does something he's always done before (but she's forgotten), it'd be the DIL who has led him astray .\"

Last Wed, her maid forgotten her normal routine and threw one mop away. then have no mop to use. I found out and asked her why didn't she tell me to buy. And I asked her what to buy, buy the whole thing again or just the mop head. So anyway, this maid buay gum wan, and she knew she is MIL's pet so went to complain to MIL. I informed my HB what happened between the maid and myself, as from past experience, MIL will scold me from confronting her maid even when its her maid's fault. Sure enough, MIL confronted HB, and he told her what happened. Then she commented how come he changed so much that he placed his family above his parents and so on and so forth. the she lamented that she and FIL are so disappointed with him etc, just short of calling him a unfillial son. I overhead the whole conversation and went in to interupt. My hb is too shock to respond to his mum... i told MIL to look at the issue at hand and not to drag other issues into this discussion and calmly narrate to her what happened. Well, naturally it didn't go well with her with my explanation etc and she kept pulling in other things into this... aiyah, really cannot talk to her lah, something is loose in her head... she is really insecure in some way and WAY too full of herself for her own good...

[minnie2004]

hi janet_lee88, that’s a typical example that MILs only care about their sons, who are their top priority, and they want to make sure you put them your top priority too. They could care less about their DILs. As Andaiz said, they never blame their sons. It’s always the DILs who are to blame even for the wrnogdoings of their sons.

[Andaiz]

tree nymph:

Then she commented how come he changed so much that he placed his family above his parents and so on and so forth. the she lamented that she and FIL are so disappointed with him etc, just short of calling him a unfillial son.

Tree nymph, it is right for him to place his family above his parents - not to say that he's abandoned them etc....but being a married man, HIS priority is HIS family - i.e., you, and children (when and if they come along).

The sooner PIL's acknowledge this, the better it is for them.

[tree nymph]

lovekidsverymuch:

haaaa guess no PIL in this world will take that they come along they feel DIL have come along so they r the priority rest can just come along

MIL doesn't think so. She is too full of herself and she always tell me how much she is respected by her peers, her family, her nieces, her xxx... So she naturally thinks that she is above everyone... Actually from what i see, a lot of people give her face because she is very stubborn and didn't want to get into an argument with her. And after that, they just continue do their way... The thing is, my HB really places them above us - his family. He will give in to her whimps and wishes and carries out her commend and demand no matter how taxing or ridiculous it is. And so when he finally stand up and speak up for me, this is what he got from his mum lor. Sometimes i really feel sorry for him, his mother pressed him down like how she does for his father... very jia lat...

[buds]

Andaiz:

Nt thinking about #4, dear ks2me....but I've always enjoyed the process loh. :love: :love: pm me, if it's too personal to share here about the \"control\" lah!

Me too please... :please:... oh dear guru.
Pwweease PM me too... i enjoy the process too.
Anything for better control. The longer the better.
Hmmm... :idea: ... or are we talking about a different
kind of control here. :siam: Oops. Did i say that out loud??

PM! PM! :siam:

[buds]

Andaiz:

janet_lee88, you hang in there...MIL is genuinely concerned (and possibly forgetful!) but must cover her tracks mah :roll: coz very :oops: , so guess who gets the blame loh? :laugh:

:rotflmao:

Classic one! I loike! :salute:

Mine is quite on the ball so I must cover my tracks. :laugh:

Andaiz:

I'd always remember what my grandaunt said to me when I first got married and delivered DD1:\" As a DIL, you'd need to know that you will not be right in the eyes of your MIL....when dear son does something he's always done before (but she's forgotten), it'd be the DIL who has led him astray .\"

DIL the ones who led them astray? :laugh:

Hoh-yah, right? :rotflmao:

Good one, sista.. good one.. *clap clap*

Andaiz:

Frankly, with less interaction, I must say, it's getting MUCH better than before.

Yah meh.. well, i ain't hopin.. i dun mind quiet interaction.
It's like how i usually press *mute* button during advertisements.
I like it that way..

[buds]

minnie2004:

hi janet_lee88, that's a typical example that MILs only care about their sons, who are their top priority, and they want to make sure you put them your top priority too. They could care less about their DILs. As Andaiz said, they never blame their sons. It's always the DILs who are to blame even for the wrnogdoings of their sons.

I get the \"care\" about their sons part.
I don't get the blame DIL's part, and
especially for their son's wrongdoings.
That's just wrong boi.. so wrong.. but
yes, i do realize that too since i am in the
same boat. Their boys can never do them any
wrong it seems. Even when IT IS wrong.. Double
standards.

[janet88]

My parents were already looking after the kids…yet I’m expected to accompany hubby OVERNIGHT at the hospital. Who should be looking after the children then ? Shouldn’t it be the paternal grandmother then ?

The daughters-in-law always get the blame when the husbands don’t buy mooncake or whatever for their mothers. Sons never get the blame for anything.
If she claims to be so concerned about her son, then she should go to the hospital and visit him…don’t say that she doesn’t know where SGH is. :x It’s not me she is visiting but her OWN precious son.

[minnie2004]

Sadly it's usually the maternal grandparents who care about their daughter's children, not the paternal grandparents. The only thing we can do is accept this is the fact and don't take it seriously.

[janet88]

Minnie,

Maternal grandparents will know what the grandchildren like/don’t like to eat. Paternal grandmother only knows what HER children like to eat.
When my son had his operation for cleft, the paternal grandparents came to the hospital like GUESTS.