In-law problems?

[buds]

kanyaramesh:

Dear Buds


I chanced upon this topic and got interested in your posts. I must say your fortitude and patience over the past 10 years is more than admirable. You have been an excellant DIL. Your PILs should worship the ground you walk upon but instead treated you so badly.

I will pray for you and hope that you will have the much deserved peace and happiness in your new home.
:ugogirl:

WHOAH! :!:

This is the ultimate i've gotten thus far, new friend. :salute:
You're just visiting today and you seem to already understand the constant
turbulences i'm facing with my ILs. I try to think i have been an excellent DIL
but i may not have been in their eyes. All this years i tried to gauge what wud
make them tick (in a good way) in response to what i did or may have done
to make them happy. I came back from that research with nothing still cos to
date, i dunno what wud make them happy other than just take my husband
and children away from me for good. Worship the ground i walk upon is definitely
something i dare not even dream or rather even think of cause that ain't never
gonna happen in twilight years. All i have been yearning for was basic respect,
some personal space, less intrusion into my marriage and motherhood and yes,
a little love would be nice. By that i meant, genuine ones. Not pretend ones.

Yes, kanyaramesh.. peace is what should ideally come should all the promises
that have been made eventually be fulfilled. I hope i live to see that day.

[buds]

markfch:

Thanks buds. You've always been the nice & encouraging one :celebrate: .


I clammed up and become awkward when it comes to complex issues like the one you are facing. May the breeze gently carry your sail to your own little island across the sea, where troubles could not reach and will be left behind.

Coming from you, i'm thinking BigDevil has finally found his match for the
SNAG title... Sensitive New Age Guy. There are not many around left in this
world. Your words made me tear a little but comfort me a lot. Thanks for
coming in to provide that added solace to the many i have received here.
Coming from a guy, i truly appreciate it... very much. :snuggles: It shows
that there are guys who DO understand. :celebrate:

[kanyaramesh]

buds:

kanyaramesh:

Dear Buds


I chanced upon this topic and got interested in your posts. I must say your fortitude and patience over the past 10 years is more than admirable. You have been an excellant DIL. Your PILs should worship the ground you walk upon but instead treated you so badly.

I will pray for you and hope that you will have the much deserved peace and happiness in your new home.
:ugogirl:

WHOAH! :!:

This is the ultimate i've gotten thus far, new friend. :salute:
You're just visiting today and you seem to already understand the constant
turbulences i'm facing with my ILs. I try to think i have been an excellent DIL
but i may not have been in their eyes. All this years i tried to gauge what wud
make them tick (in a good way) in response to what i did or may have done
to make them happy. I came back from that research with nothing still cos to
date, i dunno what wud make them happy other than just take my husband
and children away from me for good. Worship the ground i walk upon is definitely
something i dare not even dream or rather even think of cause that ain't never
gonna happen in twilight years. All i have been yearning for was basic respect,
some personal space, less intrusion into my marriage and motherhood and yes,
a little love would be nice. By that i meant, genuine ones. Not pretend ones.

Yes, kanyaramesh.. peace is what should ideally come should all the promises
that have been made eventually be fulfilled. I hope i live to see that day.

Hang in there Buds!

In my job as a divorce lawyer I have seen many cases of intefering ILs who have caused the break -up of a marriage. However despite all that you have gone through for a decade you have been strong. You have what is lacking in most married young women these days- tolerance. I salute you! You have not abandoned your dream despite so many obstacles. God( in whichever form) will always be with you.

All the best my dear!

[buds]

kanyaramesh:

Hang in there Buds!

You betcha i will.

kanyaramesh:

In my job as a divorce lawyer I have seen many cases of intefering ILs who have caused the break -up of a marriage.

You have? :faint:

Gosh, you must be something! All those days listening in and out about
interfering ILs must be a helluva tough job to do, girl. :salute: Hehehee..
On a nottie note, i'm sure you've got hordes of tales of scary ILs from ur
daily encounters. :evil:

kanyaramesh:

However despite all that you have gone through for a decade you have been strong.

Though i know people esp old ones normally do not change, they could at
least soften up a bit ya know... after all, i kept their son and granchildren
by their side all these years... they got to watch their grandchildren grow,
laugh, cry, play and all that... i mean, isn't that what most grandparents
want? To have their family even extended ones if possible together in
harmony? While we ARE together, harmony... there's none in that house
and i'm glad i'm outta there already. Our new home is bearutiful... i just
love saying that... our new home. :love:

kanyaramesh:

You have what is lacking in most married young women these days- tolerance.

A marriage counsellor friend told me so too. She also offered me good tips
and many suggestions and cheery pick-yourself-up ideas to ensure that i
should never feel inferior, less worthy of myself or a failure. She shared
that i should celebrate that the fact i left my job, i took care of the house
and the elders no matter come what may, raised my daughters well and
that i'm always in confidence with God and that God will in turn help to turn
my life around and that i should also gear up to take charge of it... work
on it but on more constructive grounds now... and of course with all that
work, hubs needs to understand that i cannot do this without him. This is
for the long haul and this marathon we do need to run the distance together..

kanyaramesh:

I salute you! You have not abandoned your dream despite so many obstacles. God( in whichever form) will always be with you.

All the best my dear!

I have many shortcomings. Many of which were pointed out by MIL.
I tried to work on everything she sarcastically voiced out to me but i
suppose i didn't make it work for her son in her eyes, no matter how
hard i tried. Thanks, i still believe that God is with me in my journey
and with new found strength whatever little is left of it and new found
friends, i foresee i can do this with everyone praying and rooting for
me.

I hope i can say now is simply... dear friends, await my good news...
I'm scared to say it out loud but i'm saying it in a whisper now nevertheless.

Thank you everyone for always being here for me when i need you most.
You guys are my strength. Wish me luck.. :xedfingers:

[mummy of 2]

janet_lee88:

I have a SIL who can be nasty too...out of the blue one April Fool's Day, she called me just to create trouble and I didn't even do anything.

救命啊 ! Thought it was an April Fool's Day joke but it wasn't. Got fed-up and sms-ed her back to ask what went wrong with HER !!! For nothing gave me so much sh!@ with so many crazy sms-es.

From then on, I stay ARMS length and MILES away from her. Scared of her. Told hubby about it, since I think he should know.

I also have problems with my SIL. In the many years I know him, the only time DH quarrelled with MIL is because of a lie she told. Ask her to come over and clarify, MIL say no need. Guilty or what?? :x

[tree nymph]

buds:

Yes. Only FIL said to go ahead with plans to move to our own place.
He even said it is about time we did. He said hubs had been more
than filial to have put them up for this long. MIL said she doesn't know
how to be a better MIL than she already is to come to this point. :whut:

how how my MIL also thinks the same???

did your MIL and mine go to the same enrichment centre?

[tree nymph]

3Boys:

\"Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.\"


Time for your hubs to cut the apron strings. Harsh, but necessary. I don't know the rights or wrongs of your situation, but if this drives you nuts, it is your prerogative as the wife to say NO.

3Boys,
I still patiently waiting for this day to come... and in the mean time, i have to eat the humble pie. I'm living under FIL's roof and so they call the shots - even though I'm paying for the toilet paper to the meals put on the table to any new appliances when the old ones had stopped working... I was told (by my SIL) that since I'm living under their roof, even if it comes to my kids, they will also call the shots. :shock: :shock:

[tree nymph]

buds:

HER? No way hosei!
She's empress dowager.
Command respect kind.
Dun care where.. the disadvantage
is i am a stay home parent so i've
to face her daily and once her day
is done, she faces hubs with her
other side.

mine is the Empress dowager in the house too. and she has the right - cos its their house!

that is why I chose to work and continue to work as long as I'm in the house.

And I chose not to dwell on the negative thoughts... else will go :siao:

[tree nymph]

markfch:

I clammed up and become awkward when it comes to complex issues like the one you are facing. May the breeze gently carry your sail to your own little island across the sea, where troubles could not reach and will be left behind.

Mark,
this is so nice!

Buds,
me too, hard for you that something will be done and that there is a good solution for everyone!

[tree nymph]

Mrs Ang:

duriz:

[quote=\"buds\"]Aiyah... talk some more lah markfch, i love it when you talk. Especially here... we dun have enough guys, husbands and

lads talking in here. I'm sure it's not just us girls having
stuff to bitch about issit?

Agree :celebrate:

haha...seem that markfch is the only guy that dares to voice his opinion here. Thumbs up for him![/quote]Mrs Ang,
he is not the only one... we have 3Boys here too.