In-law problems?
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I have told my DH point-blank that I do not want to see his parents more than once a week.
Well, it’s mainly MIL, not so much FIL but they come together in a package. Seeing her face spoils my entire day. When we wanted to send my DS to cc, she was very against it. sent my DH emails and smses telling him all the horrible things cc does to children. like "smacking the kids , giving them sweet cordial drinks , leave them to cry in a corner". went as far as to call the cc "a den of evil" ! even called my parents to tell them to stop me. when my mom told her she doesn’t interfere in how we want to raise our kid, she called my mom names then later denied it when I confronted her. She’s very extreme.
it’s been a long 2.5 years, and so many things have happened. I’ve tried reasoning but it’s no use. They’re so adamant that they’re always right. now, Í’m taking the path of least resistance which is avoidance. the less contact, the less conflict. -
Hi kylene,
I agree with you, both of them comes in a package…so seeing her face really spoils my mood for the whole day.
Told hubby I don’t want to see them more than necessary. He is upset with what he has seen and heard but tries to ignore. My family has done a lot…more than what his family can ever do. Even visiting own son in hospital is impossible, let alone grandson. IF they do anything, the whole world will know…but what they don’t realize is that, hubby is their son and grandson bears their surname.
On top of not doing anything, I hear sickening and nasty comments when I’ve not done anything to irritate them.
Like you, I avoid them to the max…so that I won’t get upset by them. Still, I get called names :x damn it. Just thinking of a CNY reunion with them makes me sick. -
I must say that all these problems with the inlaws started after we had a kid. Before the kid, our relationship was cordial. dinner with them once/twice a week.
After the kid, everything changed. They want us to go over to their place more often, they want to come to our place more often. They want to have a say in everything. When my DH tried to tell them we would like to raise our kid our way, there was a big wayang. MIL cried and screamed. She felt that statement meant that her way of raising DH and his sister was wrong. and of course FIL was upset too. actually FIL’s only fault is that he loves MIL too much, gives in to her all the time. and so she makes all the decisions and he gets upset if we upset her.
And mind you, our way of raising the kid is just simple things like sitting at the table during meal times, not too much tv, not too much cakes/ice cream. er, nothing extreme at all. but all too much for MIL . -
kylene:
I don't know whether if he 'loves MIL too much' that he gives in, but from what I see, it's more like being henpecked. Her habit of saying '你听我说' is way too much for me to bear, bcos that is at the tip of her tongue and her favourite phrase obviously. She doesn't do her part as a grandmother but yet wants the kids to remember WHO she is. What rubbish is that?I must say that all these problems with the inlaws started after we had a kid. Before the kid, our relationship was cordial. dinner with them once/twice a week.
actually FIL's only fault is that he loves MIL too much, gives in to her all the time. and so she makes all the decisions and he gets upset if we upset her. -
my case is like kylene’s.
me n mil disagree over wat kids eat.
she likes to offer junk food, i m super health conscious.
last time there was once when i bought vitamins from my ex neighbor, she hint to me not to buy becos other neighbors were asking her is it we very rich, can afford those supplements!
crazy! -
if got any wkend my hubby travels i m actually happy cos no need go mil plc
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janet_lee88:
Like you, I avoid them to the max...so that I won't get upset by them. Still, I get called names :x damn it. Just thinking of a CNY reunion with them makes me sick.
Yah man, since the favoritism surfaced, I have boycotted the weekly visits. Now, we only let our ds visit them once a month. I will not bring my baby there if I can help it. She also passed comments about me becoming a SAHM (thinks I am a burden to her son) and kept suggesting to me to get a maid like her favorite daughter-in-law.
I get stressed up with the thought of going for the CNY reunion dinner and visits. MIL even wanted to have a Xmas gathering this year but we turned her down. She never celebrated Xmas before so I dunno why she wanted one this year. Think she wants her 2 sons and families to \"be closer\". That will never happen especially when she shows such favoritism.
I have thought up all my lines of retort in case she says weird things at CNY dinner. I am not gonna be a sitting duck. -
cherrygal:
Yes, a friend's sibling is like that....it's always like a Q & A session when you see her.
The trick to stop pple from asking about you is to counter-attack them with more questions about themselves. That usually stops the kaypoh person from probing. Tried and tested.
Gotta try this out....ask them plenty of questions in return right? Huh....that means brain must work super hard to ask and probe continuously...wah sounds so tiring already. Wonder where all these super kaypoh people have the energy to ask so much... :roll: yawn..zzzzzzzzzzz -
growie:
No need to think. Just ask them back exactly what they asked. They will shut up immediately unless they don't mind to share. But usually these kaypohs are very scared of people asking them questions.
Yes, a friend's sibling is like that....it's always like a Q & A session when you see her.cherrygal:
The trick to stop pple from asking about you is to counter-attack them with more questions about themselves. That usually stops the kaypoh person from probing. Tried and tested.
Gotta try this out....ask them plenty of questions in return right? Huh....that means brain must super hard to ask and probe continuously...wah sounds so tiring already. Wonder where all these super kaypoh people have the energy to ask so much... :roll: yawn..zzzzzzzzzzz -
Oh I see...just 'parrot' their questions!! Hmmm never really realized that these same people are afraid of people asking them. Thanks, I gotta try out and see what their replies & reactions are.
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