In-law problems?
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cwc:
You have to understand the psychology. The old MIL may have the hidden fear that she is old and is no longer useful. She is just trying to prove otherwise. This could be manifested as picking faults with the maids etc.....I pity these elders that do not know how to direct their retired years to more meaningful actitivities. Alot have to do with the mindset (aka psychology). This also serve as an alarm to younger generation. Do we want to be like them when we get older?
Hi Janet,janet_lee88:
Hi cwc,
2 of them cause enough problems...another maid added on means 3 sets of PROBLEMS. :?:
my 3rd set of problem has reached new level liao.....both are accusing each other more & more. Just yesterday, both dunno do what and made my DD cried while I was out. Then both keep trying to take me to a corner & whisper & blame each other. Xiong.
Today, basin stuck....straightaway MIL accused Maid never do good job last week & showed me her pail which was rather clear.....actually maid cleared a lot the other day, I witnessed. MIL rant and rant until DH stopped her. Then still curse and swear under her breath for quite a while....irritating.
Think at the rate it goes....it'll escalate soon. All my previous maid.....every time ~6 months they will start asking to quit. -
WeiHan:
You have to understand the psychology. The old MIL may have the hidden fear that she is old and is no longer useful. She is just trying to prove otherwise. This could be manifested as picking faults with the maids etc.....I pity these elders that do not know how to direct their retired years to more meaningful actitivities. Alot have to do with the mindset (aka psychology). This also serve as an alarm to younger generation. Do we want to be like them when we get older?
Ha ha, not sure if my old lady fear OR think too highly of herself
To me she always think she is the best, cos not just maid, she interfere into my stuff too. Just that I refused to let her & DH told her off sometimes, so she no choice but to lessen. But sometimes, I do agree she's better ESP in chores aspect.
Sad to say, my feel is she's just being domineering & likes to interfere ..... to the extent she will try to stop DH & I from going nearby for breakfast on weekends as DH prefer noodles to bread at home. My only consolation is DH knows when she is too overboard & step in to stop her nonsense.
I do & have constantly remind myself not to end up with such behaviour. Hence need to have own interest & not focus entirely on my kids. -
cwc:
Actually maids do not like to work in families where there are senior citizens around. As it is, getting a maid is hard enough...sometimes the maid gives problem, but others the grandmother is the cause. Fortunately, your hubby stepped in but it's hard to go on if your MIL continues.
Today, basin stuck....straightaway MIL accused Maid never do good job last week & showed me her pail which was rather clear.....actually maid cleared a lot the other day, I witnessed. MIL rant and rant until DH stopped her. Then still curse and swear under her breath for quite a while....irritating.janet_lee88:
Hi cwc,
2 of them cause enough problems...another maid added on means 3 sets of PROBLEMS. :?:
Think at the rate it goes....it'll escalate soon. All my previous maid.....every time ~6 months they will start asking to quit. -
sall:
cwc, your tolerance level is very high. :salute:
Not lah, just that if dun tolerate, family suffer too. Since I can't chase them out liao, then must choose the right battle to fight. Then sometimes I'll purposely be more difficult to DH so that he dun take for granted & be aware
Frankly, from past experience, ε₯½ι©¬θ’«δΊΊιͺ....so once in a while must be 'nasty'. Afterall, She's HIS mother.....I believe all of us are taught to respect elder, just that sometimes a bit tough :oops: to be the submissive DIL.
I think all of us have some 'evil' in us, no one is perfect....heehee. So sometimes, maybe I'm the one being unreasonable too....whoahaha. -
janet_lee88:
Actually maids do not like to work in families where there are senior citizens around. As it is, getting a maid is hard enough...sometimes the maid gives problem, but others the grandmother is the cause. Fortunately, your hubby stepped in but it's hard to go on if your MIL continues.
As long as MIL still continues to work, with minimal time at home, should still be manageable. Frankly, takes 2 to 'TANGO' :pokeeye:
I just dread the day she decides to stop working......while DH dun really want to admit, he knows too well :roll: -
monmon31:
Completely understand your situation. I moved in with my MIL while waiting for my house to be ready at the end of the year...I cant wait to move out. That's why i come to office early and leave late so as to avoid possible clashes with her. Though I go home late, I make sure i will reach home before my DS reaches home.[/quote]oops, now then i saw your reply. :lol:[quote]
missbluey:
unfortunately (or lucky?), i will be stuck living under the same roof with inlaws. FOREVER!
only good thing is mil does cook. though her meals are pretty routine, some i eat until sian liao.
even if i move into my new house, they will be tagging along....after few years later.
hais, i have so many stories to tell lor. :slapshead:
then how did you spend your weekends? you sure have to see her right?
for me, i don't really like weekends (im weird!) especially when mil is @ home. she is noisy, talk like as if she is staying kampong areas.
i assume your mil won't move in with you? is she taking care of your DS? -
cwc:
haha! are you referring to my mil?WeiHan:
You have to understand the psychology. The old MIL may have the hidden fear that she is old and is no longer useful. She is just trying to prove otherwise. This could be manifested as picking faults with the maids etc.....I pity these elders that do not know how to direct their retired years to more meaningful actitivities. Alot have to do with the mindset (aka psychology). This also serve as an alarm to younger generation. Do we want to be like them when we get older?
Ha ha, not sure if my old lady fear OR think too highly of herself To me she always think she is the best, cos not just maid, she interfere into my stuff too. Just that I refused to let her & DH told her off sometimes, so she no choice but to lessen. But sometimes, I do agree she's better ESP in chores aspect.
Sad to say, my feel is she's just being domineering & likes to interfere ..... to the extent she will try to stop DH & I from going nearby for breakfast on weekends as DH prefer noodles to bread at home. My only consolation is DH knows when she is too overboard & step in to stop her nonsense.
I do & have constantly remind myself not to end up with such behaviour. Hence need to have own interest & not focus entirely on my kids.
my maid dislikes her on the first month of her work. mil always interfered in her work, scolded her \"budoh\", \"siao\" until now maid knows all these terms liao.
i know my maid is abit slow sometimes but she don't have to keep scolding her right? once, (after 2yrs) maid told me she wanted to go back. i was like WTH.
its true that mil is better @ chores than maid. sometimes she just went a little too far. hubby ah, don't really interfere lor. hais. then mil does complain to me about maid, like she getting lousy & turning a deaf ear towards mil when she scolds her. sigh.
for eg. mil forbid maid to use washing machine when she wants to wash blanket & comforter. then use what to wash?! :siao: -
missbluey:
Ha ha...think many many many MIL similar :rant: Vicious cycle....MIL scold, maid not happy purposely act blur, cry & whatever, MIL even more fedup :rant: more and I'm the one going crazy.[
haha! are you referring to my mil?
my maid dislikes her on the first month of her work. mil always interfered in her work, scolded her \"budoh\", \"siao\" until now maid knows all these terms liao.
i know my maid is abit slow sometimes but she don't have to keep scolding her right? once, (after 2yrs) maid told me she wanted to go back. i was like WTH.
its true that mil is better @ chores than maid. sometimes she just went a little too far. hubby ah, don't really interfere lor. hais. then mil does complain to me about maid, like she getting lousy & turning a deaf ear towards mil when she scolds her. sigh.
for eg. mil forbid maid to use washing machine when she wants to wash blanket & comforter. then use what to wash?! :siao:
My MIL also refused to let maid use washing machine for blanket, bedsheet, mattress protector and all their clothings. Even scold me and gave order that I cannot allow. To ensure, MIL would make maid wash early morning so that she can monitor b4 leaving to work (just in case I secretly help rinse or spin dry)..... No choice, MIL's must handwash, mine and kids I'll still use washing machine. -
cwc:
oh ya ya! my maid use the crying method.
Ha ha...think many many many MIL similar :rant: Vicious cycle....MIL scold, maid not happy purposely act blur, cry & whatever, MIL even more fedup :rant: more and I'm the one going crazy.missbluey:
[
haha! are you referring to my mil?
my maid dislikes her on the first month of her work. mil always interfered in her work, scolded her \"budoh\", \"siao\" until now maid knows all these terms liao.
i know my maid is abit slow sometimes but she don't have to keep scolding her right? once, (after 2yrs) maid told me she wanted to go back. i was like WTH.
its true that mil is better @ chores than maid. sometimes she just went a little too far. hubby ah, don't really interfere lor. hais. then mil does complain to me about maid, like she getting lousy & turning a deaf ear towards mil when she scolds her. sigh.
for eg. mil forbid maid to use washing machine when she wants to wash blanket & comforter. then use what to wash?! :siao:
My MIL also refused to let maid use washing machine for blanket, bedsheet, mattress protector and all their clothings. Even scold me and gave order that I cannot allow. To ensure, MIL would make maid wash early morning so that she can monitor b4 leaving to work (just in case I secretly help rinse or spin dry)..... No choice, MIL's must handwash, mine and kids I'll still use washing machine. sometimes i wonder who pays the maid salary?? i know mil is trying to help me to correct maid, so next time she won't slack in my new house. but hor, some ppl so used to the scoldings that they are immune to it le.
another eg, my maid used to iron during the afternoons every sundays. then mil complained loudly why she iron clothes & \"push\" the baby to us???/what if my #1 will run & play with the hot iron etc etc. :stupid: then mil imposed rule on her that she can only do the ironing @ night when both kids are sleeping. NOW when she irons @ night, mil SCOLD!!! :faint:
hais, i really don't know how to complain.
on the other hand, my maid somehow took over cuz mil seldom aim me now.
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If these MIL continue to give the maids a hard time, there will be chances of 1) maid running away/want a transfer 2) kill the MIL. Not surprising since this has happened.
Yes, I know these maids need to be supervised and monitored or they will be up to monkey tricks but pull a string too tight will lead to tragedy.
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