In-law problems?

[janet88]

sall:

Hi cwc, your mil is a very selfish and self-centred woman. She is jealous when she sees you and your hubby on good terms. So she'll stir up whether trouble she can find , pick at you , cause the 2 of u to argue, and she expects your hubby to take her side. If not, then she applies emotional backmail. Most likely, she did not have a good relationship with her own hubby, so she hates to see any dil being happily married. There are really such vicious mil in this world.

It's a torture for you to stay at home. Guess your hubby must be very torn and sandwiched too. I've suffered this emotional blackmail when newly married. Each time after a visit to see them, hubby & I will argue and quarrel.

Have you thought of discussing with hubby to get them to move out and stay in their own place ? A home is supposed to be a place to relax and enjoy...home sweet home. With them out, your relationship with hubby will improve and you will enjoy more freedom at home too.

[BeContented]

janet_lee88:

It's a torture for you to stay at home. Guess your hubby must be very torn and sandwiched too. I've suffered this emotional blackmail when newly married. Each time after a visit to see them, hubby & I will argue and quarrel.


Have you thought of discussing with hubby to get them to move out and stay in their own place ? A home is supposed to be a place to relax and enjoy...home sweet home. With them out, your relationship with hubby will improve and you will enjoy more freedom at home too.

Torture....on bad days yes, on some other days, can tolerate lah. I'm normally easy come, easy go.....fickle-minded.....angry, over, angry again, over.....still cannot decide what I wanna do :roll: Getting them to move back into their own place will not be feasible and frankly, no longer an option. Once you invite them over, it's FOREVER :stupid: I'll bear with whatever I can....there are quiet times (like now :please: )
DH also knows, if staying here with maid still cannot work out, only left with nursing home next. Well, at least we tried.

[janet88]

cwc:

janet_lee88:

Have you thought of discussing with hubby to get them to move out and stay in their own place ? A home is supposed to be a place to relax and enjoy...home sweet home. With them out, your relationship with hubby will improve and you will enjoy more freedom at home too.

Torture....on bad days yes, on some other days, can tolerate lah. I'm normally easy come, easy go.....fickle-minded.....angry, over, angry again, over.....still cannot decide what I wanna do :roll: Getting them to move back into their own place will not be feasible and frankly, no longer an option. Once you invite them over, it's FOREVER :stupid: I'll bear with whatever I can....there are quiet times (like now :please: )
DH also knows, if staying here with maid still cannot work out, only left with nursing home next. Well, at least we tried.

Once invite in, there is no such thing as leaving anymore...'FREEHOLD'.
Hubby has 3 other sibings...one far far away. Even if there is one day need to take them in, they will still want to pick and choose who to stay with. So I really salute you for being able to 忍. :udawoman: Sorry for saying this, but I am not able to take them in at all.

[BeContented]

janet_lee88:

cwc:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Have you thought of discussing with hubby to get them to move out and stay in their own place ? A home is supposed to be a place to relax and enjoy...home sweet home. With them out, your relationship with hubby will improve and you will enjoy more freedom at home too.

Torture....on bad days yes, on some other days, can tolerate lah. I'm normally easy come, easy go.....fickle-minded.....angry, over, angry again, over.....still cannot decide what I wanna do :roll: Getting them to move back into their own place will not be feasible and frankly, no longer an option. Once you invite them over, it's FOREVER :stupid: I'll bear with whatever I can....there are quiet times (like now :please: )
DH also knows, if staying here with maid still cannot work out, only left with nursing home next. Well, at least we tried.

Once invite in, there is no such thing as leaving anymore...'FREEHOLD'.
Hubby has 3 other sibings...one far far away. Even if there is one day need to take them in, they will still want to pick and choose who to stay with. So I really salute you for being able to 忍. :udawoman: Sorry for saying this, but I am not able to take them in at all.[/quote]
Ha ha...the joke is, dun think the PIL actually pick or choose. Firstly, none of the other siblings wants them over.....so they can't choose. Next, MIL refused to go to one particular sibling cos' she dotes on him and does not want to give him any trouble. Even now, that fella gets off scott-free in EVERYTHING. :mad: Anyway, she has only herself to blame in future for his behaviour.

Besides thinking that the hubby are over-protective of maid, MIL also think that everyone more supportive of the maid. So MIL is also getting more pissed and would pass comments loudly purposely about the maid and also tekan her. Now, the Maid is getting pissed and bolder and is starting to openly oppose instruction. I ?? Call me lousy/coward/useless/whatever, I dun intend to be middle-man anymore cos' it won't work. Let them fight all they want, if the maid wants to get herself out of job and MIL wants to go maidless and end up taking care of FIL herself or send him to old folks home.....go ahead. Frankly, now that I try to wash my hands off, feels so much better.....they can fight all they want. Enough for me.
I will just retire into my room and step in when things gets really heaty :torchme: :torchme:

[janet88]

cwc:

janet_lee88:

Torture....on bad days yes, on some other days, can tolerate lah. I'm normally easy come, easy go.....fickle-minded.....angry, over, angry again, over.....still cannot decide what I wanna do :roll: Getting them to move back into their own place will not be feasible and frankly, no longer an option. Once you invite them over, it's FOREVER :stupid: I'll bear with whatever I can....there are quiet times (like now :please: )

DH also knows, if staying here with maid still cannot work out, only left with nursing home next. Well, at least we tried.

Once invite in, there is no such thing as leaving anymore...'FREEHOLD'.
Hubby has 3 other sibings...one far far away. Even if there is one day need to take them in, they will still want to pick and choose who to stay with.

Ha ha...the joke is, dun think the PIL actually pick or choose. Firstly, none of the other siblings wants them over.....so they can't choose. Next, MIL refused to go to one particular sibling cos' she dotes on him and does not want to give him any trouble. Even now, that fella gets off scott-free in EVERYTHING. :mad: Anyway, she has only herself to blame in future for his behaviour.
[/quote]
Hey, I have one similar case here with a spoilt rotten son. She dotes on him and never gave him trouble at all...from girlfriend to wife and wedding. Yes, agree with you. His sickening behaviour is due to her upbringing.

[sall]

There is another type of mil who loves the son so much, she also treats his wife like a queen. Reason is if she doesn’t treat his wife well, then the wife will make life difficult for her son, and her darling son will suffer. unfortunately, very few such mil.

My friend’s mum is like that. She treats the daughter-in-law better than her own daughter, so that the daughter-in-law will be happy and then treat her son very well. Likewise, the son’s children are treated better than the daughter’s children.

[BeContented]

sall:

There is another type of mil who loves the son so much, she also treats his wife like a queen. Reason is if she doesn't treat his wife well, then the wife will make life difficult for her son, and her darling son will suffer. unfortunately, very few such mil.

My friend's mum is like that. She treats the daughter-in-law better than her own daughter, so that the daughter-in-law will be happy and then treat her son very well. Likewise, the son's children are treated better than the daughter's children.

Envy leh. But too bad, my DH not the fav son

[missbluey]

sall:

There is another type of mil who loves the son so much, she also treats his wife like a queen. Reason is if she doesn't treat his wife well, then the wife will make life difficult for her son, and her darling son will suffer. unfortunately, very few such mil.

My friend's mum is like that. She treats the daughter-in-law better than her own daughter, so that the daughter-in-law will be happy and then treat her son very well. Likewise, the son's children are treated better than the daughter's children.

can i swap my mil with her? :please:
then i can be The Ultimate Queen in da house. :rahrah:

[janet88]

cwc:

sall:

There is another type of mil who loves the son so much, she also treats his wife like a queen. Reason is if she doesn't treat his wife well, then the wife will make life difficult for her son, and her darling son will suffer. unfortunately, very few such mil.

My friend's mum is like that. She treats the daughter-in-law better than her own daughter, so that the daughter-in-law will be happy and then treat her son very well. Likewise, the son's children are treated better than the daughter's children.

Envy leh. But too bad, my DH not the fav son

Wow :shock: there are such MILs ??? :scratchhead:
My hubby is favourite son, bcos he doesn't tell them NO, but my life isn't any better. It's perfectly ok for hubby to tell his mother how difficult the education system is now, and son needs tutor for Maths...but if I make same comment, she will say I don't know to teach and wasting her son's money :mad: So when I see her, I clam up completely or have to put up with her loads of 道理.

[janet88]

missbluey:

sall:

There is another type of mil who loves the son so much, she also treats his wife like a queen. Reason is if she doesn't treat his wife well, then the wife will make life difficult for her son, and her darling son will suffer. unfortunately, very few such mil.

My friend's mum is like that. She treats the daughter-in-law better than her own daughter, so that the daughter-in-law will be happy and then treat her son very well. Likewise, the son's children are treated better than the daughter's children.

can i swap my mil with her? :please:
then i can be The Ultimate Queen in da house. :rahrah:

Hubby's mum has twin sister...MORE understanding than her sister. Asked my hubby how come his aunt's character is so different :scratchhead: . I can have a chat with her while she listens and gives constructive comments. With his mother, :faint:
His aunt can stay with her daughters-in-law under one roof and even play mahjong with them.